Kenyon College - Reveille Yearbook (Gambier, OH)

Page 22 text:

w.p85 op Officers. OSCAR W. NEWMAN, SAM’L JOHNSON............. GUY D. GOFF................. POINTS S. YEN............. CHAS. F. McCANN............. HARRY SWEARINGEN. HARRY C. DEVIN.............. ROBERT C. WOO, HARRY G. PRINCE, WILLIS S. ANDERSON,

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JHistory of ’87. Y E have many misgivings about commencing a history of so vast and V V startling dimensions as this, and would much prefer to occupy the position of the historian of our predecessor ’86. ” who has the honor of being a historian without a history; or of our successors “’88” and ’89,” who write merely for the amusement of the Reveille editors. In writing a record of events so eventful as ’Eighty-Seven’s, we have no need of calling to our aid muses and other such common place personages. Our deeds arc too brilliant in themselves by far, and render such aid superfluous. Listen! When we first entered Kenyon’s sacred halls we were in a remarkable condition of exuberant over-freshness, and proved our right to that distinction by our subsequent actions. We pastured a cow in a recitat ion-room, and the removal of it and the debris was quite expensive, and made a considerable vacuum in the damage deposit, something like fifty dollars. At another time we were seized by a chronic disease and removed the relics of the one-time Hubbard Hall—a noble action, almost unprecedented in college annals. As to our '‘rushes, we were undoubtedly successful in one. We had thirty men, our opponents five. Quite a discrepency, we acknowledge, but that does not affect the prestige of success. As to the other rush.” Well, we acknowledge that much could be said on both sides. But let us pass from these trifling successes trf those of more importance and more material value. In our various engagements with our Profs, we have everywhere met with success. In a word, Came, saw, and conquered.” By the aid of Bohns we utterly routed Bones with his Caii and Balbi. Greek we thundered down upon like a troop of cavalry. In Math.” we can most conscientiously affirm that we have gained from Devil’s winks a prodigious amount of mathematical ignorance. As to Billy, doubtless he would say, Of all classes, individually or col- lectively, we are the most thoroughly, completely, and altogether consecrated to our duties.” I his is sufficient to show what a remarkable history we possess, and in what condition we now are. As «a parting behest we urge our readers to direct Diogenes this way, if they should happen to met him ; or, if Plato and his satelites should cross their path, to notify him of the existence of this class, where all is wisdom, honor and modesty.

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 ISJOF Y' Of '88. In place of the bombastic lot of slush handed us by the class historian, we publish the above pictorial history. We ap| cnd also a couple of specimens of the historian’s very original orthography —verdend and con ten sc.—Eds.