Kansas State University - Royal Purple Yearbook (Manhattan, KS)

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come to the conclusion that safest way to live the rest of my life is to sit in a dark corner and mind my own business. Nothing is safe an ymore everything is hazardous to your health. I realized this the other week when I was reading an issue of People magazine. The magazine contained an article about the newest scare disease, toxic shock syndrome (TSS). Dr. James Todd, chief of the infectious disease department at the Children ' s Hospital in Denver said, You run a greater risk of dying in your car on the way to the store to buy tampons than you do from toxic shock. As I fell asleep I questioned what Dr. Todd said. Then my thoughts turned to dreams. There I was — in the consumer product graveyard with cans and bottles as tombstones. The epitaphs said things like: Use of this product may be hazardous to your health; This product contains saccharin which has been determined to cause cancer in laboratory animals; Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health; etc. Then I pictured myself surrounded by a hazy cloud. My cemetery tour guide told me the fog was the ozone layer coming down to haunt me since I had been polluting it by using aerosols containing fluorocarbons. When the mist finally cleared there I was holding a hair dryer. Before I knew it the drier had been turned on and millions of asbestos particles were traveling to my lungs. Suddenly someone was cramming cigarettes in my mouth and trying to make me inhale the nicotine. When the fog rose I was lying out on a sunny beach with the intense sun rays penetrating my body. I was being bombarded by ultraviolet rays! The rest of my dream was an assortment of things to sketchy for me to remember. I do recall people selling me a plot of land which turned out to be at the base of Mt. St. Helen ' s. And, on my way to view my new purchase, a real-estate agent made me believe the ash was actually a cure for cancer. My agent told me that I was fortunate to receive such a great plot of land. Someday it might even be a part of the San Andreas fault, he encouraged. Then I started running. I ran and ran stepping over cans which said: do not puncture, incinerate, or expose to heat; Keep out of the reach of children; do not inhale; use in a well ventilated room; do not take internally . Bottle and can warning labels were hurled at me from all directions. As I came to the end of the path, I saw a sign which said Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that living is hazadous to your health. I woke up that morning exhausted from my nightmare, but realized how true it was. Practically everything was hazardous to my health. I went shopping later and every label seemed to jump at me with its warning message. I went through the rest of the day wondering if I could even rely on Rely. Nancy Reese art by Mel Westmeyer hazardous 27

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26 hazardous

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Me lazy? No, I procrastinate I ' ve always admired people who work hard at their studies and make straight A ' s. Even more, I admire those people who get straight A ' s and don ' t do any work at all, because I like the idea of getting a lot for a little. Some call it lazy, but I prefer the term procrastination. It sounds scholarly. I ' ve had a case of the I ' ll-do-it-later syndrome ever since I can remember and I have never gotten around to changing that behavior; yet. I ' ve got a list of excuses a mile long. At the top of my procrastination list is: But I do my best work at the last minute. This excuse is followed closely by: I like to work under pressure. When I finally got around to figuring out why I put everything off to the last minute I went to the dictionary and looked up the definition of procrastination. According to Webster, to procrastinate is to postpone habitually. The only cure for procrastination would be organization and hard work-a slow painful death for me. I blame my severe case of procrastination on my second grade teacher (after all, I ' ve got to blame it on someone). After missing two weeks of school, because of the German measles, I turned in about half of the accumulated homework. Once I returned to school, I failed to finish the work and event- ually the teacher forgot it. That ' s one habit I ' ve kept until now. Unfortunately, now they give incompletes for work not received. I ' m sure I have the record for the most incompletes. My mom has tried to cure my habitual laziness by quoting an old proverb: Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Today in the world of posters and t-shirts they have made that old proverb suit my situation: Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow. In college I have found that my procrastination is forever prevalent. Take reading assignments for example. Usually, 28 procrastination