Ironton High School - Owl Yearbook (Ironton, OH)

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a street carnival as the leading bass singer of the Mudtown Minstrels. His wife, who has gotten over her disappointment in not getting a Teddy, is delighted with the suc- cess of her dear “Garry,” as weil she might be. Next, I turned southward to- wards Louisiana to visit a cousin of mine. On my way through Arkan- sas, I stopped for a few days at a station situated at the foot of the Ozarlcs. Here I learned that John Crickenberger was the engineer of that wonderful “slow train through Arkansas. On this position he has made a great success. How he has arisen to such a high and responsi- ble position is a paradox, but as you know, his nature was always a phenomenal one. Leaving here, [but not on the “slow train”] i visbed Mains, La , where my cousin lives. Near here, I located the boy [now a man, of course] who always stood highest in our class, Carl Hart, six-foot- two. He and his beautiful little wife, who was formerly Madge Croy, of Pomeroy, 0., were very hospitable to me. I was shown over their large plantation of 50 acres, introduced into the secret of his success, the famous “Uncle Tom’s Corn Salve,” which his wife has proved is very efficient in removing corns. After bidding farewell to this happy couple, 1 started on a trip through Texas and New Mexico. In Texas, I discovered Norman Ed- wards. He is the King of the Cow- boys, the dancing master and star of the society of Dallas. He was formerly the stage manager of that famous troop which staged “The Defender Capitulates” with such success in 1920 and 1921. In Navajo, New Mexico, I met the saddest figure of our class, Ed- ward Goldcamp. He was wander- ing from place to place and pouring forth into song the sorrow for his lost leve. I scarcely recognized in that wild, hollow-eyed man, our handsome, dashing young sport. My heart melted with sympathy as I read that famous little poem in which he tells the story of his lost love. It begins: “Once in the days of the happy past, I loved a beautiful young girl who was fast; I loved her, but she loved not me — All she wanted was a big Teddy.” Of course you know to whom this refers, and can also comprehend his loss. Soon after this sad meeting, I re- turned home and learned that in my absence, the world had been startled by the sudden appearance of a great orator and debater. You can guess most probably who it was; Mr. Emerson Marting. The statues of Webster and Burke look crest fallen, for they foresee a statue placed above them in the Hall of Fame. But Emerson never got over his admiration for brown- eyed girls, and has now shared his fame and name with a dark-eyed beauty from the South. So, you see, with you as the wife of the celebrated play writer,

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After leaving Cincinnati, I visit- ed a ladies’ college near Glendale. On the faculty here, I found enroll- ed Miss Ethyl Selb and Miss Clara Coates. Ethyl is at the head of the cooking department, while Clara is the teacher of elocution and famous for her eloquent declamation of that popular poem, “Betsy and I are out;’’ and also for her remarkable aptness at reciting dialect poems, such as “Leetle Yawcob Strauss.” After a brief stay at Glendale, I visited New York, which is all astir on account of the recent and won- derful inventions of a certain El- mer Flehr. His name has already cast a shadow upon the name Ed- ison, and he promises to surpass all genius ever before exhibited. His latest invention is the process of making smokless codl by distillat- ion. He has also perfected the wireless telephone and the process of making diamonds. Thus you see our class has had a very decided in- fluence'upon the progress of the world. Also, while in New York I was fortunate enough to have the op- portunity of hearing the world’s most gifted singer of to day, Mag- dalena Pololcstoi, who I discovered was the same person who had charmed us in ’08 with her silvery voice. But I learned that her name in private life was no longer Hoff- man, but that she had remained true to the love of her High School days, in spite of the many offers of dukes and counts. After spending a few more days in the famous metropolis, I turned westward. On stopping at Alton, Illonois, I ran across another of our classmates, Mr. Edward Ward. In this flourishing city, he occupied the office of mayor, and has intro- duced many important political re- forms. Saloons have been abolish- ed and people no longer smash church windows and steal chickens, or officers rob the post office and treasury. He has most certainly verified the statement made by an Ironton person when he was a boy; that all people should rise up and call him blessed. In St. Louis, I visited Miss Phyl- lis Strobel, who is now the most noted lady doctor in America. She can actually cure chicken-pox and mumps in two weeks! Were we wrong in predicting a famous ca- reer for her? In Topeka, Kansas, I met Lona Brammer, the girl you remember who made such a hit in our class play. But alas! she tired of her name and has for many years borne the name of that Junior who al- ways made the History room so pleasant for her. Her husband is n: w a—but there! he was no class mate of ours. Two miles west of Topeka, in Grizzleford, I located two more famous characters—Mr. and Mrs. Herman Lintner. You ask, Who is Mrs. Lintner? Why, it’s Edna of course. And she is certainly happy in the possession of her “hubby.” You know that we all said that the world would hear from “Garry.” Well, it certainly has, for he has been traveling for many years with

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formerly of Ironton, the class of ’08 have with the exception of me, poor little old maid, all gained prominence in the world. Well, 1 hope all the class are as well satisfied with their destiny as I am with mine; and will not ob- ject to this little (?) summary of their conditions as I found them in 1930. Now since my tale is ended, and my ink is running low, I will close, with expectation of a speedy answer. Your friend as ever, (Miss) Lura Tufts. (Mrs. J. C. Summers, No. 1009 High Street, Columbus, Ohio.) Ct £atin Story. By HELEN ZIMMERMANN, ’08. Ante quattuor dies Kalendas Junias in anno mille nongenti et sedecem, pulchra urbs Lynna maxime permota est, quod duo notissimi homines urbis sancto matrimonio coniuncturi erant. Hi homines erant Edwardus et Katherineca. Utrique suum cursum confecerunt in Lynnae superiore ludo, Edwardus in anno rnill nongenti et octo atque Katherineca in anno mille nongenti et decem. Cum Edwardus magnificus senior esset et Katherineca pulchra secunda esset, utrique eidem Caesaris classi aderant et in eadem classe beata sollicitatio primum coepta est. Edwardus in anno sequente ad collegium ivit et interim Katherineca suum cursum in superiore ludo confecit Edwardus pluribus annis in collegio remansit et cum multas puellas videret, nullam puellam ita pulchram et caram cordi ut suam veterem Latinam amicam. Denique suum cursum in collegio confecit et domum redivit. Is statim certior factus est suam amicam innuptam adhuc esse et constituit ad Katherinecam ire et ei de suo amore dicere. Per hos annos amor eius erga eum vehementior factus erat sed ea nunquam putavit eum erg a se ita multum amorem habuisse. Post plures annos beatae sollicitationis sponsa est ei, quae res suos amicos stupefecit. Ipsorum amici eis dixerunt non connubio iungerent quod ipsis non apti essent, sed ei modo omnium aliorum haec verba audire noluerunt. Denique dies nuptiarum deluxit et quidque splendide institutum est. Post nuptias quae a multitudine amicorum visa erant, breve iter profecti sunt. Primi pauci anni nuptae vitae beato et tranquillo modo consumpti sunt. Tertio anno nuptae vitae discrimen venit. Katherineca multos rumores de coniunge audivit et sui amici dixerunt, pulchrae virgini nobili multam diligentiam eum dare. Hoc effectum habuit et ux or fidem in conjuge amisit. Certum mane epistolam in eius thalamo invenit et ea similis omnibus uxoribus id legit. Carissime Edwarde, Ego tristis sum quoniam proxima nocte non venisti, qucd