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English as She is Spo\e: Wossatchoogot? Afnoonnoos. Lassdition. Enthin\innii.t? 7 [aw. 7\Jothmmniit ' cept lasspeechrosefeh ' s — lottarot. Donsay sol ' Wosswetherpredic\shun? Sesrain. Donheleevetho. Funthing — thiswethernev\intellwassagunado. Thassright. —The Green and White, 1910. Friend: Did the doctor know what you had? Sick : Pretty accurately. He asked ten dollars and I had only eleven dollars. A colored man got his nerve together and took a flight in an airplane. As he climbed out of the ship on its return to the iield, he turned to the pilot and said : " Suh, Ah has to thank you fo ' both dem rides. " " What are you talking about? " said the aviator. " You had only one. " " No Suh, " returned the passenger. " Ah done had two — my fust an ' last. " " What ' re you writing? " " A joke. " " Well, give her my regards. ' Judge: Were you ever in trouble before? Speeder: Well, a librarian once fined me two cents. Teacher: Johnny, what is the meaning of the word crisis? Johnny: Two out and bases full, mum. —The Green and White, 1911. Bob: I wonder what Sir Walter Raleigh said to the queen as he put his coat down. Jeff: Probably, " Step on it, kid! " i 1 i i 1 " I wonder what the people up in Greenland do to \ll time. " " Oh, I suppose they read a lot. " " What do you suppose they read? " " Mostly Coo\ hoo\s and Pearyodicals, 1 guess. " —The Green and White, 1911. Miss Prante: Jeff, give me a sentence using a metaphor. Jeff: There she was; I don ' t know what I metaphor. " What ' s the matter, Rastus? You look as mad as a wet hen. " " Well, why shouldn ' t I be? The doctor what operated on me fo ' pendicitus went and sewed me up wif white thread. " two hundred
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