Indiana University - Arbutus Yearbook (Bloomington, IN)

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tm: « ' .A.1 :B TJ TTJyS (jiies. Like fire it is Ixitli indispensa!)le as a necessity and dani enius as a CLinflagatitm. All L(i e slmuld be matliematicall - ecjual. as much as the two sides of an algelsraic equation, iiut unfortunately, as with bank accounts, it is hard to make them balance. College Love, like another form of intoxi- cant usually comes in cases and as a rule, one trial bottle is enough. Lu -e and Labor rule the wurld the sages say, but as a matter cif fact, when Man is in Love, Lalxir has td wait. Lo e is the one great panacea for all ills. It is a system for turning water intii wine, kerosene into honey, Ijowlders into bon-bons, rag-weeds into roses and spinsters into debutantes. It has the power to make the common dande- lion seem like the golden flower of Paradise, a worthless pebl)k ' assume the guise of a solitaire and the colorless moon appear as a large bomb of whipped cream. It is the one great Renaissance of human existence ; the anarchistic revolution of sentiment against reason. It has been known to transform hard- shelled old bachelors into effervescent poets bursting forth into enamored sonnets. It has caused close-fisted old misers to buy . merican l!eauty roses by the armload. It has converted feminine iceliergs into an armful of senti- ment and prompted stoop-shouldered grinds to throw their Greek into the lordan and study human nature by the dim light of a parlor lamp. It has even induced bald-headed old professors to kick the lens out of their tele- scope and join some feminine star in the search for a lour leal clo er, L ' nder it ' s hypnotic spell, stalwart and husky heroes on the gridiron weci) scalding tears because the morning ' s mail failed to bring a lavender-colored hyacinthe letter. It has caused cultured and refined young co-eds of taste to regard Apollo Belvidere, Chesterfield and Senator Beveridge as mere chimney-sweeps beside the splendid fellows in red Mackinaws or the cute little dears with the swell line of talk, who fall for banana specials at the Greeks on date nights. Under its psychic influence, dapper young Sophomores flunk out in fifteen hours work, half-baked Juniors grow dreamy-eyed and hungry-hearted, while even dignified Seniors are either under a hopeless contract or frightened to death lest they lose out entirely. The poor fossilized Freshman deprives him- self of picture shows and pool in order to rent a dress suit, does the steam roller act on e •ervl)ody ' s feet, performs the brakeman stunt in walking on trains with ele]ihant-like agility, spilling a glass of condensed grape-juice on IlNri lA NA. XJr ITP3aX2 S I V

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TKEr X O X 3 JkJT iaXJ XJy An Essay on Love Till-; i rcalc-i iliin- in tlic w.nld is vpilkil with l.iii tlucc kttci . ■■|.-l -l ' . . w is a calamiiy. aj ainst wliicli tluri. ' is ii . insinaiuc. a hillioii Volt shock of clectriciiy, a), ' ainsi which there is no insulation iii ' i a ikadly disease. i t which there is no cure. I.ove. the sum. the total of all misfortunes, must he endured with silence; no friend so dear to he trusted with such a secret, no remedy so ])owerful to remove it ' s anguish. It is some- times conia ' cous. fre(|Uently fatal, and always critical. Like the measels. the later in life that it comes, the wurse il is. . s yet, no Si)ecilic .Medication has lieen found for il and after all. the victim doesn ' t want to he cured anyway, it isn ' t wcirth while. Like the sleepinij-sickness. he simjily wants to he left alone. . t present, no adecpiate and satisfactory jlelinition exci has heen found either for Luxe or I ' .kctricity. I ' cet-. . -cientists. i ' liilosoi)hers, and I ' oiid Parents have tried to deline Love, hut all have heen forced lo i;ive il up unsolved. e. cei)t Laura jane Lihhy and a few inmates of paddeil cells. .• o unsuccessful have heen all attemi)ts at delinition that most people c.in ' i tell the (litTerences hetween Love and merely a collej c case. Like hives, il is an at ' lliclion which most commonly hreaks out lnrin;4 the sprinj, ' of the year, and like whoo])inj.;-cou.i;h, one seldi ni has ii twice. It hits the icliin with a sickenin;.; ihud somewhere hetween the head and the heart, hiindiii!.; the eyes, sofienini; the hrain. wari)in.L, ' the judijnienl. spoilini the taste, and llalleninj, ' ihe pockethock. It is a disease of the heart which iitlfccls the head. The sym])loms of Lo e like those of into.xication, are too Common to enumerate. . s a matter of fact, the two allliclions are strik- inj ly similar and Love is hut an advanced state of the l.itter. |uite akin to delirium tremens, nistnrtcd vision. meanini, ' less prattle, and that tcrrihle mornini.; after the ni dit before. are characteristic of hoth. I lowever. he who is into.xicaled with wine will he soher a ain in the course tif a ni.uht. Imi he who is inlo. icated hy the cuphearer will not recover his senses until tin- day of judjiment. Love, like laudanum, is helpful in sni.ill (|u.inlities l ul injuriou-. in lar-c IN ' I IAT IA. XJr IV3ErX2 S IT V '

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TKEr I O X 3 -A.ia.BXJ ZJNS liis shirt husnm and ouiitrixcs i yet lii- l ct -in thi rnU!j;lily taiii kd that it wiiuld require a traffic pnliceinan t . i;it order •iit uf the diaos. Love can put innre deterniinatioii into a sluiji isli system tliaii a w liolc drayload of smukeiips. infuse more anil)ition into six feet of jelly than enoui li i ' iii l ' «eta Kajipa keys to cover Science Hall and put more lij ht into a fellow wiiii a yarn hackhone than sufficient k ' H ' M ' ' ' ' ' , molasses and sulphur to llo. d the Monon jiond. It made Sanii)son lij, ' ht the whole I ' hilistine army with Mauds lower niaxilliary and sent Cieneral (irant throuj, ' h a swollen river attired in his best hroaddotii. It made Pocahontas offer herself as a martyr and sent Rosalind roaminj, ' ahout the I ' orest of Arden in a masipierade cos- tume. !.o e knows no harriers an l respects no foes. Dan (■ui)i l lauj iis ai the . lps, the (. hincse all. the Student Affairs (.onimittee. the ei}.;ineen-inch rule and at dyspeptic and hostile parents. It has been known to move imniov- al)lc bodies and to concjuer irresistible forces. It is as imijossible to conceal Love as it is to cover up a wart on the nose. It requires no constabulary to detect a love-sick victim. When a yount; man l)ej,Mns to haunt the library, to wliistle while he hunts for a lou lost collar button, tu select cra ats with the care of a I ' iiie An major, and to cliani;e collars more than twice a week, there ' s a dart lod-eil in lii xentricK- some- where. Money makes the world j ' o round but Love makes it j o round and ' round. The diurnal sphere could no more continue to revolve than some pro fcssors could lecture without notes. K ' emove Love from the world and florists would become be}, ' ' ar-. jeweler wonld ;.;o to work, conlcctiomr- would die of starvation and minisu-rs would lurTi liyixicrits. Novels would read like collet e . l}, ' ebra, picture shows would siem like a parlor stereoscope, the tlrama would be as dry as a temperance lecture, college life wouhl be four years in a cemetery and the board walk wnnld lie aliout as po|)ular as a mud road in March. Love drives its iciims as l)lind as an asti;4niatic bat. Hein;; in Love is one }, ' rand hallucination. It is a ballliuj; mira!.;e: about as lastiu), ' as rouj ' e. The lover decei es himself in thinking himself happy when he is about as well contented as a l resliman in a I ' hysics examination. He spends a season in madly pursuinj; a perfect dream of a doll, only to wonder after he has { ot ten her whoever was so cruel as to have sh.ived this bothersome ]icst upon iivi ia:p«a. xjp iiPEria. s iT v '