Hunter College - Wistarion Yearbook (New York, NY)

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numbers. On reaching the gymnasium the entire funeral train lifted up their voices in glorious harmony, singing fto the tune of When johnny comes marching home Q the paean which had previously appeared in the invitations to the ceremony. A crowd far exceeding in size the wildest expectations of the instigators had gathered to witness their triumphal progress, most of them, quick to grasp the idea, had already converted the prescribed sheets of yellow paper into triangle badges. Once around the gymnasium proceeded the solemn pageant. L' We'l1 never have old Trig any more, Hurrah! Hurrah ! they sang jubilantlyg and then, to the sweet melody of Long, long ago z Come now and listen to my joyous strains- Triggie is dead! , j Triggie is dead! - There lie before you his mortal remains- T Triggie, oh, Triggie is dead! '-' j Amid wild applause the procession mounted the platform, where, before an audi- ence hushed in reverent silence, the Orator delivered with superb power and eloquence a masterly funeral oration Qquoted in full elsewhere in these columnsj. After the mad plaudits of her enthusiastic audience had subsided, the welkin was again made to ring with joyous harmony, in which, this time, the audience joined. ' Meanwhile the uni- formed officials were distributing single sheets of Trig among the spectators, with the direction to tear them into little pieces. This was done with evidences of almost fiend- ish joy at the opportunity of at length venting long pent-up wrath--even Seniors join- ing with a gusto that left no doubt of their deathless hate for Trig. When the shredded remains had been again collected, they were deposited in the centre of the gymnasium, where a troop of girls joined hands to encircle them in a mad war-dance, while an accommodating Senior struck up, There'll be a Hot Time in the Old Town To-night. The procession thereupon re-formed to march to the place of interment, whither they were followed by a joyful multitude, which all joined once more in a mighty chorus of exultation at the death of Trig. Then, out on the snow-covered campus the grave was dug, and a portion of the remains, enclosed in a receptacle bearing the name of the deceased and the legend, Regzdescat Zn Tarz'a1'0, was consigned, in the elo- quent words of one of the dignitaries officiating, To the vile dust from whence he sprung V Unwept, unhonored and unsung. The rest was set on fire, the very wind subsiding so that the flame might live- and so, surrounded by his former victims, freed at last from his yoke, old Trig burned merrily and long. i The joyful juniors would gladly have stood there singing gaily till he was utterly consumed, down to the last least diagram, but the bell rang, ere many pages had shrivelled and turned black, and so the girls departed, and the obsequies were over. IOI 4 'l it

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I I I qi I. I I I I I ,J ,I III I :Ii I II ,I ,. ,. II II II II I I I I I Il II I I II I I I I , I I I I I II III II' .lx I li II I. THE OBSEQUIES OF TRIG. HE ten, or thereabouts, who were in the secret, could hardly refrain from giving tantalizing hints to just a few othersg but, anyway, the mysterious bustling about the corridors, and the excited confabs, could scarcely have passed unnoticed. A certain instructor, too, must have been puzzled to find that after she had given one class permission to devote her entire period to some eleventh hour brushing-up of trigonometry before the examination, a certain group in one corner of the room spent those precious moments in a state of giggle and wild excitement,'in marked contrast to the air of earnest mental activity and careful concentration that marked the actions of the rest. So it is likely that the rumor of something in the air spread through the college, though just what it might be few were able to guess until the morning after the examination, when vaguely worded invitations were received by the presidents of the junior classes, intimatingthat mysterious happenings of special interest to unmathe- matical persons, and connected in some way with the passing of trigonometry, would transpire in the gymnasium at recess. The expectant juniors were further enlightened by the words of a joyous paean, of which they were requested to bring copies-a song expatiating on the bliss of leaving trigonometry. While the uninitiated wondered what was up, the instigators assembled in one of the roomy wardrobes on Shane Hall, where they had gathered the things needful, and, inspite of gloomy obscurity due to the disabled condition of the electric light Qparticu- lars may be had from Ac5j preparations were completed long before the ringing of the recess bell. But when at length the summons came, it was an impressive pageant that started on. its route through the long corridor. The solemn procession was headed by an imposing form, robed in a frat gown Qkindly loaned for the occasionj, and wearing a red scarf, rather like the sashes of the N. C. B. B. T. This dignitary marched with stately stride to the well-timed music of the muflied tap-bell in her hand. About her neck was hung a big placard, lettered: TRIG GBIIT JAN. XXXI., MDCCCCI. Gczudfamus. - She was followed by four dignitaries similarly attired, but wearing in addition to their other insignia large triangles of yellow paper. First came the pall-bearers, bear- ing upon their shoulders the remains of the deceased-two dilapidated copies of Went- Worth's Tr1gonometry, which rested on a bier supported by blackboard pointers, and covered with a pall of scarlet. 'The Gravedigger, the Orator, and other oiiicials, fol- lowed, preceding a company of students in ordinary dress, but wearing, like the others, the yellow Order of the Triangle. ,, X Heralded Still by the regular muffled beat of the bell, they marched through Senior Han and the Cjhapel H0013 While 3 gf0WiHg multitude of curious-followers swelled their too , I

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lli yi, l ll fl .l ll il F li 5 ll 1 I Q51 tt: t., :tj lf lv l ll: if Eli ir. fit il tl i z itll ll lift 152 'I It ll ,. l'-i ll la Il I! ii 4 l ,l l l V l l l 'i 'a l gr 5, it lm sf' l ll Qi lt 'll lit 1 l ,ll .H t 'f rji l l ll 4 4 il oRAT1oN PRONOUNCED ovsk THE REMAINS or rR1GoNoMETRY, ESQ. RIENDS, juniors and fellow-suiferers, lend me your smiles! . I come to bury Triggie, not to praise him. The evilthat he does lives after him, And cannot be interred with his bones, So shall it be with him. The teachers say That Trig develops well the weakened mind, And makes new convolutions in the brain, Yet who but he hath brought the awful D, And bowed the head of many a weeping maid ? Did this in Trig seem virtuous or just? And yet our teachers wise did thus proclaim him, And surely they, if any, they should know, I do not say their judgment is at fault, But here I am to speak what I do know.- You all did hate him once, not without cause, What cause withholds you, then, from laugh- ing now, When his remains repose in death before you ? fOh, see the rents the joyous juniors made D And yet, alas! his squeaking shade shall rise From Tartarus to which we now consign him, Shall come again to plague the innocent, Shall come again to cloud the happy brows, Shall come again to blight the springing hopes Of those that follow after us, Ah, hark! E'en now upon the funeral air I hear February 151, 1901 The word Resurgam in a ghostly wail. Alas! 'tis true, for saith the poet not: For Triggie's battle once begun, Is sent by juniors ever on, Though battled oft, 'tis never won. But now that our trig exams are o'er, Let us no longer think of others' woes, For us no more relations of straight lines, Which are, in truth, but fifty second cousins, For us no more dread numerical values, Of gaping angles differing in degrees, I ,For us no more substitution of functions Which equal others, to be verified ,- No more, no more, for us, for us, no more! Shout loud and dance! Come, make the rafters ring, ' Rejoice, rejoice! Let them in future say: Quantosi1le virgum gymnasii magni, Campus egit fremitus! velquae, Hudsinone, vidisti Funera, cum tumulum praeterlapsus es re- centum. Ci-git la trig, qui ne fit rien, Que troubler1'Academicien. F. G. S., 'o2. IO2