Hueytown High School - Retrospect Yearbook (Hueytown, AL)

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Mini Mag A Penny for Your Thoughts lt's the first day of school at Hueytown High for the 1987-1988 session. veryone's buddy, Penny Worthy lour heroinel, is in our midst. After ncializing a little and getting her schedule, she excitedly heads for her classes. 1st Period-English Mrs. Igiveffs steps to the front of the class. Hey, guys and dolls! l want to know how smart you really are, soooo write a summary Romeo and Juliet. lt's due in 20 minutes. lf it's not turned in by that time, l'll give you an Remember l'm Mrs. l-giv-effs. Penny ponders for a few moments and begins something like this: K'Romeo and Juliet, ie Real Trashl' Like okay, there was this really hot looking dude who had it bad for this tough chick, it his really stale parents had told him that he couldn't see her because her old man was st a dweeb, So old Romeo says to his dad, 'Hey buck, who do you think you are? Ward eaver or something? Okay, to keep this story from running on too long, it turns out that rod ol' Romeo gave the lovely Juliet ls cousin the knife because he fcousinl killed Romeo 's imber 1 buddy. Understand? Well, anyway, Juliet got real ticked off at Romy Baby, but Jmeo cooled her off. Unfortunately, Romeo has to tear out of town really fast because the ince was going to kill him. Then Juliet freaked out because her daddy ldweebl was trying make her marry this really wormy guy. l You know the type, great personality, makes his in clothes, and looks like Beaver Cleaverj So she says to her dad that he can just get out town. Then he got really upset and told her that she couldn 't talk to him that way, and he ipped her up the side of her head. So she runs to the preacher's house and gets a Feping potion so that her old man would think that she was dead, and then she could run ' with Romeo and be with him until death do they part. While all this mess is going on, lvmeo was really missing her so he sends a servant to keep an eye on her and to make re she's allright. Well, anyway, the servant freaks out when he sees Juliet's so-called ieral and runs to tell Romeo whatls going down. So, the preacher realizes that Romeo nks that Juliet is dead and runs to tell him that she's really not. Unfortunately he doesn 't uke it, and Romeo gets to Julie's tomb and thinks she is dead. ln his grief lHe really 'aked out.2 he kills himself, Then Juliet, our sleeping beauty, wakes up and sees that fmeo has done himself in, and is really upset because I mean, her husband is dead. So e grabs his sword and does herself in, too, To make it short and sweet, this couple loves each other and their really dumb, dumb rents won 't let them date. So when the guy thinks that she is dead, he kills himself, when e's really not. Then she wakes up and sees him dead and gives it to herself, too. Thatls 2 truth, too. id Period - Biology II Penny slides into her desk in the back of her biology class just the bell is ringing. Mrs. Olive Mushrooms is beginning a lecture on the Evolutionary eory. 9:15 Penny four heroine! overhears Betty Bigmouth say to Gerty Getitrite that she saw Hattie Mad and David Do-Right arguing in Winn Dixie parking lot and they broke up for il this time. U 9:25 Then Penny hears Fanny Flaps say to Carrie Cantshutup that she overheard Gerty titrite telling Lane Luvstatell that David slapped Mattie in the face because Mattie called fi a you-know-what. l' '9:40 Penny can't help but hear Lane Luvstatell and Nancy Noeitall having a heated iversation in the corner. l'm telling ya, Nance, Mattie's in the hospital. David knocked her teeth out. She's gumming her Jello at this very moment. 0:10 Penny watches Nancy cross the room to her best friend Anita Guy. Have you rd the news? David 's in prison! He went crazy and murdered Mattie 's entire family just :ause she spoke to Sam Studley. 50:15 The bell rings. Penny sees Dave and Mattie strolling down the hall, hand in hand, .ing into each other's eyes. That is what is called The Evolutionary Theory of Gossip. V sf ri. q' ,V , 3 X .4 in rf- X4 .X g .ff 4: X ., fi, in ,i.:uxg.f f Jyfx .4125-V! f' .XVT 1 .3 M 2 1 . ,iw K., . V: 1, xx? I .L si ,QL .g V53 -- .5539 L Eff! 1 ,,Ni 1.- .six .. .K x .X .,.! f f U 1 fl x .f ,i Rufyv -1' i . Q 5 g r 4 t

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ALABAMA AUBURN FGOTBALL, 198 As you know, Ray Perkins is no longer the coach ofAlabama's Crimson Tide, since h took the coaching job at Tampa. Bama took a while looking for a new coach, and . decided that Georgia Tech's coach, Bill Curry, would be the best person for the job Since Curry took the job, sportswriters predicted that the Tide would be sixth in the SEC Well, preseason practices took place and just before the season started, Curry picket David Smith as the best man for the quarterback position. Curry was right, David wa superb in the first game against Southern Miss, passing 13 of 21 for 147 yards and 1 td's, leading the Tide to a 38-6 win. The next week, Bama had to go to Penn State tc play. When the Tide came rolling in, they had their spirits sky high. In that game Humphrey ran for 220 yards including a 73-yard touchdown run. Bama won that game closer than what it should have been, 23-14. Next up, Florida. When Bama met up with Florida, the Gators just ate 'em up. Headlines were, Smitl explodes into SEC with romp over the Tide. Well, just seeing them can tell you that the Tide got run over by Emmitt Smith. He ran for a record setting 224 yards for Florida Bama's defense did punish Bell by sacking him 6 times. He only passed for 130 yard and 2 interceptions. Final score was 23-14g Florida. The next week Bama had all kinds o troubles with Vandy but winning it in the last minute, 30-23. Humphrey was the hero bg running a 54-yard kickoff return and scoring the last td. Next up USL and Memphi: State. Homecoming was against USL and Bama played sloppily but pulled out a win 38-10 The next week they played sloppily again, but they weren't as fortunate by losing 13-10 Next up, Tennessee. Bama after playing sloppily the last 2 weeks you would think that Tenn. would kil them but it was the opposite. Bama won hands down 42-22. Bobby ran for 127 yard: and Dunn passed for 229 yards being the best offensive game for the Tide. If they keep this up, they should go 9-3. But we will have to see. Good Luck, Bama. Roll, Tide, Rollll. Auburn ended last season with a win over Alabama 21-1 7. This year they ar predicted to win the SEC and come in third in the nation, but Dye had something else tj tell them. Dye said to be predicted that good was a laugh because of having a sloppy preseason practice. Well, when Texas came into town, Auburn proved Dye wrong by winning 31-3. One Burger killed the beef of the Longhorns. Burger passed 16 of 22 foi 269 yards and 2 td's. Next up, Kansas. When the Jayhawks came flying into Auburn, the Burger pass attack shot them down quickly by winning 48-0. Burger passed 189 yards and 2 td's. Next up, Tennessee. The game between Auburn and Tennessee was very even. Both teams had about th same amount of yardage each, the defenses were great, and the kicking game was thj same. Final score 20-20 tie. Next up, N. Carolina. Auburn went into the game as heavy favorites, but they won it in the second half, by Burger's passing 20-10. Burger passed for a 33 and a 3 yard td. passes to win it in the end of the game. Next up, Vandy. When Vandy came into Auburn, it was destruction time for them. Burger was perfec passing 14 of 18 for 282 yards and 2 td 's including a 46-yard td. pass to Weygand and 33 yard td. pass to Tillman to destroy Vandy 48-15. Next up, Ga. Tech. When Auburn played Ga. Tech, Auburn did not do too good until the 4th quarter, winning the game in the last seconds, 20-10. Bruce was great on the defense by grabbing 3 interceptions and causing 2 fumbles and 2 sacks. Burger set a record by passing 46 times and getting 30 completions. He passed for 265 yards and 1 td. Next up, Miss. St. Even though Burger did not play, Reggie picked up the Slack, winning 38- 7. Slack was great, completing 1 1 of 1 7 for 185 yards and 3 td 's. The defense held State to only 260 total yards and grabbing 5 turnovers. Although this season isn't over yet this coming Auburn-Alabama is probably going to be the game to see who is going to the Sugar Bowl. The Iron Bowl should be the best game ever between them. I think that Auburn will probably win the game at the last second just like last year. So, Good Luck, Auburn. War-r-r-r Eagle! James Kelley

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You see, there's something wrong with my car. It's just. darling little blue '65 Mustang convertible. My daddy restored it, don 't you know. Get to the point, Worthy! Well, anyway, I just hopped right in that darling little car this morning and drove to school. But whei I decided to run to Circle K, that's where I go every moming, I turned the key and it made a noise lik. 'en'en'errerrerr.' And then it went 'ca chunka chunka psss' and then it just diied. Well, have you checked your battery lately? It can 't be that, the seat reclines just fine. No, the square thing under the hood. Oh yea, I 'm preeetty sure I have one. Have you checked the oil lately? Yea, there's plenty of oil in the glove box. Well, how 'bout your transmission fluid? Transmission? What's that? Well, let's all just go outside and take a look. ' Outside at Penny's darling little Mustang. Penny, pop the hood and let's take a look. Okaaay. Battery looks all right, cables are secure, transmission fluid's all right. Give me the keys and I 'll try ti crank this baby. En'errerrerrerrerr ca chunka chunka chunka pssss. I told you, Coach. I sure did. What did I tell you? I said it just goes 'Errerrerrerrerr ca chunks chunka chunka pssss' and then it just diiiies. Heeey, Worthy. When 's the last time you put gas in this vehicle? Oh, 4th Period - Lunch This is Penny's lunch period. She's just gotten her scrumptious lunch consisting of liver and green beans. IMy favorite, too.j She sits down next to this really cute football player, Sprite and strikes up a conversation. I had this really freaky dream last night. Okay, it was a really stormy night. I 'm tossing and turning ir my bed trying to get to sleep, in my dream, don 't you know. Well, anyway, after I try counting shee and pigs and horses and several other farm animals, I get up and head for the kitchen. Then across thj room, it catches my eyeg my best and yet my worst enemy . . . the refrigerator beckons. I slowly open th door. Light spills out across the floor. Inside, I see a treasure of food. Leftover pizzas, cheesecake, and six pack of Jolt Cola! Then I frantically open the freezer. Aaahh! I see chocolate ice cream with littl icicles gently cascading from the lid. Then, I look along the floor. I see a veritable army of Cokes. Lost i the ecstasy of it all, I eat as quickly as I can. Everything I see, I eat. I 'm in heaven! But then I try to ge into my jeans the next morning, and they won't budge past my thighs. I scream and woke myseh' up Now, was that a bad nightmare or what, Sprite? Huh, Oh, I guess I wasn 't listening, sorry. Well, um, I was just saying, commenting on what a nutritious meal you were eating. 5th Period - French H After Penny's fiasco with Sprite, she's not in the best of moods. She enters her French II class a little hesitantly, hoping that nobody in there had heard her humiliate herself. Hel teacher, Mrs. Ima Fruit, makes quite a first impression for the year. Uhuh, uhuh. You're an 'F-ie' and ho-ho, you're definitely an F-ie. Kenny Kickmehard, not you ideal student, remarks to Mrs. Ima Fruit that he don 't think she should generalize like that. It's plunl degrading. She replies, Di-moi qui tu frequentes. Je te dirai qui es. Huh, what's that mean? Tell me what company you keep, and I 'll tell you what you are. As they rally back and forth, Penny sort of drifts off to a land of her own Ualls asleepj. Unfortunately as she changes classes, she is still noi fully awake. 6th Period - American History I believe it is necessary at this point to interrupt Penny's first da I and give a little background about her American History teacher. His name is Mr. Takitie. He is as mucll a part of Hueytown High as glass in the parking lot and graffiti in the bathrooms. His persona is quit unique. If you're ever in the halls and hear, People, people, get to class, you know Mr. Takitie can' be far behind. His laughter can be heard ringing through the hallways during the day. His clothes were i style at one point or another, but they definitely are his. Don't misunderstand, he's a stickler for th rules, and you will learn his material or fail. Once you've taken one of his classes, you 'll never forget it. Okay, take it away Penny!