Hayden High School - Tiger Yearbook (Hayden, CO)

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Last Will and Testament — Class of 1975 The class of 1975 of Hayden High School, Hayden, Colorado, does hereby declare this to be our Last Will and Testament. I, Randy McDonald, will my fantastic ability to drive to anybody who sees a future in stock car racing or demolition derby. 1, Sherri Haslem, will my figure proportions to Terry Ann Nay, so that she can sleep on her stomach at night. I, Will Montieth, will one pound to Kraig Copeland. 1, Cathy Rickerby, will my long, flowing hair to Denise Hellyer in hopes that she can handle it better than I can. 1, Tom Barnes, will to Coach Harris a radar tracking station so that he can catch all basketball players out past 10:30 at night. I, Mynon Moon, will my pair of boxing gloves to next year's cheerleaders with the hope that they won't need them. I, Sandra Musick, will naught. I, Alice Doolin, will to Ruby Montieth my third row, fourth seat, in hope she can handle it. i, Cindy Cannon, will to Georgiann Sanborn all my good times with some really good friends. I, Ronny Bennett, will my ability to give Miss Takahashi a hard time to anybody with enough guts to do it and enough sense to know when to quit. I, Susan Rhodes, will to Pat Smith the ability to have originality. I, Sherry Nay, will my curly hair to Suzy Barnes, so she won’t have to sleep in curlers. I, Sheryl Stanton, will my height and chest to Vicki Morton in hopes that she will find it useful in playing basketball. Being myself, Kub Copeland, I will my wet water submarine to any underclassman who would use it faithfully to dive deep into their schoolwork and then safely merge without knowing what the h— went on. I, Elisabeth Ongaro, will my ability to get a lot of fun out of life to Linda Rhodes in hopes that she can handle it as well as I can. I, Rick Rienks, being of stable mind and able body, do hereby bequeathe to the juniors a very large jumbo sized tube of Preparation H, so that they can shrink their swelled heads and relieve the irritation they cause. I, Rhonds Jenkins, will to anyone who can stand him, Mr. Grimes, in hopes that he will not take them for granted. I, Frank Lowther, will the book THE LIFE AND TIMES OF ADOLPH HITLER to anyone who feels the need to be a ruler or dictator. I, Debbie Koward, will to Vicki Morton my nickname, Shorty. I, Delbert Dowling, will everything possible to the juniors of this school, cuz, they need everything they can get!! I, Ann Signs, will my unending good sense of humor to anyone capable of handling it. I, Dennis Moore, will my ability to sneak out of Mrs. Morgan's room to any future senior. I, Shelia Barnes, will my cowboy boots away. I, Bernie Archuleta, will to Karen Copeland all my athletic abilities. I, Edith Webster, will my pick-up, Ole Spirit” to Kelly Patterson. I, Becky Hayes, will my sister, Wendy, to some cowboy, if he can handle her. 22

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YEAR OF '15 Sponsor Mr. Morgan Sponsor Mrs. McClure Year of the Tigers is royally represented by our Mighty seniors. (Left to Right) Student Council Representative - Sherri Nay Treasurer - Rhonda Jenkins Vice-president - Ann Signs President - Kevin Copland Secretary - Shelia Barnes Student Council Representative - Rick Rienks

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Senior Prophecy Due to the population explosion, Hayden, Craig, and Steamboat have merged to form one city. Hayden is the center with Craig and Steamboat as suburbs. They are named West Hayden and East Hayden. The sponsors of the Class of '75i,‘ Mr. Morgan and Mrs. McClure, have returned to see how their ex-students are doing. As they enter on the freeway - Interstate 40, they notice a green cloud hanging over one pan of the city. Further investigation turns up the only remaining sheep ranch in Colorado. The owner is Frank Lowther. He is rich and happy, but he still has one problem, how to fit 10.000 head of Columbia ewes into a pen covering an acre and a half. Our sponsors are turning blue from holding their breaths, so they have to move on. When they again hit the freeway, they are passed by an old blue Ford pickup. After a lengthy chase, they flag the driver down and find Will Montieth who explains that he was once the world’s greatest poacher. Since all of the world’s animals are on the endangered list, all he can poach now is eggs. They let him go and travel on until they see a sign that reads Missy and Cub’s. They stop in and find that they are in the Hayden Mission for Hungry and Wayward puppies run by Ann Signs and Kevin Copeland. The pair do a great business. When they run out of puppies, they go to Battle Mountain. Mr. Morgan notices that it is noon so he and Mrs. McClure decide to eat. They go to the local McDonald’s. There behind the French fry machine is Randy McDonald, who else? He has come up with some great new ideas - The “Little Mac - one eighth of an ounce of 100 51 soybean meal between two crackers, and the saying “you get this and change back from your 10 dollar bill. Mr. Morgan feels sick from the food, so Mrs. McClure rushes him to the hospital to find a stomach pump. The medical technician that attends them happens to be Sherry Nay. After eight years of hard work and studying, she has graduated to the highest honor she can achieve - taking urine sam- ples. Back on the town, Mrs. McClure turns on the radio and hears the golden voice of Sherri Haslem who is doing the county agent report at 6:00 AM and 1:30 PM. Today she is telling listeners that there really is life on the Eastern Slope. Then they are passed by a limousine and notice Becky Hayes in the back wearing a gold plated cowboy hat. Becky fulfilled a life-long dream when she married a millionaire oil tycoon. The trouble is he is not a Texan, but an Arab. She still hasn’t learned how to get on a camel. Is it on the left or right side? Mr. Morgan is bored so they head for the Hayden Astro-dome to see the women's All American Red Heads pro basketball team. They notice that the star center is Bemadine Archuleta. She is 6 ft. 8 inches, has red hair, and she does shaving commercials for Schick. After the game (Bernie scored 120 points and her team won 121 to 27) Mr. Morgan is still bored. They go to a movie. It stars another ex-classmate, Dennis Moore. He has become a star of spaghetti westerns and is famous. He always plays the hero and has appeared in a hundred love scenes - with his horse. After the movie, Mr. Morgan and Mrs. McClure start back towards the motel. They notice a bright light on top of Middle Cog. They go to investi- gate and find Delbert Dowling. He had been a millionaire, when he inherited the Co-op and when the price of gas went up to $15.00 a gallon, but he changed his ways and became Hayden’s first Guru. He lives on the summit of Middle Cog where he had spent most of his younger years. He is in deep meditation (or is it sleep) so our sponsors start back down. They are attacked by Shelia Barnes who is Delbert's main wife and disciple who knows every form of self defense taught. She is thinking of shaving her head and starring in a women's lib production of Kung Fu. Wishing her luck, they travel on. On their way back to the motel, they notice a large building, the Hayden Playboy Club, run by Ronney Bennett. He has bought out Hugh Hefner and with some help from his brothers who remember their hunting days, they have made some changes. They renamed the bunnies “jackrabbits. “ Mr. Morgan wants to stop and chat but Mrs. McClure steers him on. On the way back to their motel, our two intrepid travelers are passed by a large pink semi. It is Cathy Rickerby. who strayed from her dream to become a physical therapist to become the first liberated female truck driver. She carries a pistol in her glove box for use on the hitch hikers she picks up that don’t get fresh. Upon arrival at the motel they go to their rooms. The manager is Sandy Mustek, who is the Hildcgard Hamhocker of Hayden. She calls Kim Sanborn “Tumbleweeds. and has proposed marriage 47 times. The next morning they arise to a beautiful day. They decide to visit a research center and find Tom Barnes hard at work. He is experimenting on artificial insemination of wheat. He just doesn't know what to do with the plastic gloves yet. Our sponsors are interested but they move on. They arrive at the Hayden Tabernacle just in time to hear the choir rehearsal. There in the back is Mynon Moon. She is a soloist and lead bass. After listening for a few minutes, they bid her good-bye and go on. As they arrive in the main pan of town, they see the Hayden Public Library and stop in. There is Elizibeth Ongaro. She runs the library and explains she has no problem with noise. To prove a point, she walks up to a little kid making a ruckus and punches his light out. They thank her for the demonstration and split, fast. Back on the move, they notice Cindy Cannon and Alice Doolin on the street corner wearing their old drill team uniforms and marching. To our sponsors, it looks as if they are still learning how to shake - their pom poms that is. Having no chance to chat. our sponsors move on. Mr. Morgan is still hungry so they look for a restaurant. They find the “Ruptured Tom Tom. it is the old broken Drum, and it is run by Edith Webster. The place is famous because it was once visited by Euall Gibbons. The food prompted him to say “There are some things edible served here, such as the silverware, the plates, and the napkins. Mr. Morgan decides that he isn't hungry so Mrs. McClure takes him to the drug store for some Di-Gel. There they find Rhonda Jenkins. She owns the place and now resides in Hayden after a brief stay in Georgia. She is an expen on Pampers and has Ralph Mustek calculating how to put them on Junior. She talks for a while and then our sponsors move on. They decide to tour the local Coors plant. There they find Sheryl Stanton, who is the head taster. She doesn’t say a word, she just sits there with glassy, bloodshot eyes, and this huge grin on her face. Mr. Morgan and Mrs. McClure can't get her to speak, but they figure that she must like her work, so they travel on. When they again hit main street, they see that there is a pool hall in Hayden. It is run by Debbie Howard. They peek in and arrive just in time to see Debbie running a dude’s head into the pop machine. She is a retired woman wrestler. She has won the Heavyweight Championship nine consecutive years. Fearing life and limb, our sponsors truck on out. On their way out of town, they are run into by a small blue Datsun. Mr. Morgan gets out to chew the person out, but sees Susan Rhodes in the other car. She has the world’s biggest biceps as she works on a pig farm carrying slop buckets. Checking their list, our sponsors realize that they have only one student left to look up and that is Rick Rienks. They find that after he and Kevin Copeland wrote the class prophecy back in “75, “ he became the editor for Mad Magazine. Realizing that his talents could be used elsewhere, he ran for and became Governor of Colorado. Our sponsors figure that that explains the whole thing and travel off into the sunset, happy for all their former students. ''PHI • -ie I