Hayden High School - Tiger Yearbook (Hayden, CO)

Page 21 text:

Really I didnt mean to Happiness f. Looking for? hat18 so funny g Come to! Sucn interest

Page 20 text:

ClASS F OPNEOr' The year is 1994, and due to the energy crisis, all forms of automation, such as electricity and gas powered engines, etc. have been banned. So consequently, THE FUTURE IS THE PAST. The class sponsors of '74, MR. YOAST and MISS TAKAHASI, are traveling across the states in prairie schooner the JJSS Capon, when who should appear but SYLVIA, traveling over the sand dunes chopping up people with her own version of Kung-Fu, Taco-Mata. After a brief visit, they proceed and over the horizon comes a surging herd of ... sheep followed by RUTH and CARL in their sheep wagon. Talking to them, it was discovered that they have almost as many sheep as kids. Since it is time to feed the children, our sponsors reluctantly leave. Later their wagon limps into a town for repairs and more provisions. Their first stop is the blacksmith shop, where they are surprised to find ERIC. He gladly agrees to fix the wagon and for a demonstration of his farrier's prowess he bends a horseshoe with his ear. Taking the horses to the stable, they find MIKE and STANLEY with Mike's horse on the lift. It has mag hoofs, high octane oats, chromed headers, and a four speed saddle horn, he explains as he chromes the ports. Stanley turns to explain that he is a Moto-cross horse racer looking for a moto-cross horse. They say good-bye and go to the store for food. On the way they walk by the little red school house and see DONNA, who is the music teacher and is developing great harmony with the schoolmaster. Once they get to the store they find that it is owned by SHERRIE'S husband, Sam. SHERRIE sweeps up at night and also keeps the pickle money rolling in. Our sponsors decide to stay the night and see the rodeo and show. Go- ing to the hotel they see RITA RHODES in the lobby. She informs them that she has a Psychiatrist's office in there and in- vites them in. In the ensuing discussion, they find out that Rita’s most popular patient is ARTHUR, who can't face the re- jection of his pet pigs. Rita makes up for it all she can. Now they leave to get their room and behind the desk they find IVA. She has become an expert typist, only she can't find a place to plug in her electric typewriter. After resting, they hear the commotion of the wild west show and rush out to the arena. On their way they see RICK and another leading tobacco plantation owner about to engage in a lethal gun battle, but of course RICK will win because his Prince Albert coat is bullet proof. Walking over to the arena, they arrive just in time to see RONNA galloping across the stage on her beautiful palomino, throwing ten invisible balls into the air and shooting all of them before they hit the ground. Later during the rodeo segment, JOE WALZ comes out of shute 4 demonstrating his skill at riding saddle broncs with three hands tied behind his back. After the show they go back for a peaceful night's rest only to be awakened by the noise of the six horse snowplow; clomp, clomp, making its annual round, driven by JIM ROLANDO, who doesn't realize it's the 12th of July. Just out of town our friends smell a hint of pigs and find LYNETTE, the only female LIBERATED pig farmer. Business is good considering all the male chauvanist pigs. During their conversation they see a cloud of dust coming down the road and it turns into KATHY STANTON. While passing by, she slows down and swiftly explains that she now has the pony express - minus the pony. Bidding fond farewell, they journey across the rolling hills. They stop for lunch at a small dairy farm which belongs to STEVE continuing his father's dairy farm. He milks 500 cows by hand, twice a day, what a handshake! When not milking, he rides the range on his brindle steer; a quart in his teeth and a gleam in his eye. They laughingly proceed and seeing a gleam of light in the forest, go to investigate and find REBECCA following behind Terry counting trees with a bedpan in her hip pocket. They quickly out-distance our sponsors who travel on their way. Stopping for lunch at a spring, they see ALLEN BOOCO who is riding the grub-line and perfecting rope tricks designed to hogtie or attract females, whichever is handiest at the moment. Our sponsors hear shooting from the rimrocks, and see DEBBIE, the sniper on the left, continuing the sheep and cattle war. Suddenly a sheepherder falls from the rimrocks and they see GARALEE standing on the rocks. Garalee has been politically aspired to the Head Girl of the Colo. Cattleperson' Assoc. When not using her knife, she keeps them in line with her stock whip. In the next valley they find FRANK, who believing there will be a horse shortage, has gone to breaking elk to ride. Elk are better for packing because they have bigger racks to hang things on. Traveling on, to the neighboring ranch, the Frentress Ponderosa, they find TENA, head cook and bottle washer, cooking for 50 hands a day and sobering up half of them. On this ranch, they see JIM DENKER. He keeps the old lady busy sobering him up. He even eats, sleeps, and parks on his horse. The next morning, at a stream as they start up Cathedral Mountains, they find RALPH crawling out of his double sleeping bag to entice the high mountain brookie trouts. Coming down the stream to check his traps is MOUNTAIN MAN BURNSIDE. He has trapped everything from the ferocious wolf to the not-so-ferocious female human. The sponsors contented that the class of '74 have finally achieved their high aspirations, drive off slowly into the sinking sunset. 16

Page 22 text:

18