Harris Elmore High School - Helm Yearbook (Elmore, OH)

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79 As soon as we can recover from this heavy blow, we venture into the main part of the school. As we enter the lower hall, a blood curdling scream greets us. We run down the hall and find in a small room, Danny Wood, who was given detention his last day of school. Under the new administration, headed by Mr. Herbert Katko, Danny's release date was postponed until this spring. In the room with Danny is a henchman of Katko's, a man who calls himself Mr. Clarence Egert. This fellow shares the Katdo man's ioy in watching students on deten- tion suffer. From N le Kardatzke, who is expecting to graduate this spring, we learn that Danny is to be released into the custody of Shirley S2-lu, who runs a day nursery. This place is hoped to settle Danny's shattered nerves. Nyle hopes to secure a position at the Elmore bowling alley upon graduating. After this shocking bit of education, we find it necessary to go outside for some fresh air. ,As we are cleared by the guards at the outside gate we see a crowd milling around a small platform on which a man is standing giving a fiery speech. We elbow our way through the crowd and find that the speech-maker is our fellow class- mate, John Votaw. John is an avid vegetarian and is now giving a well demonstrated speech on the evils of eatinggzt. John reminds us to be sure to stop at his barbecue before leaving Elmore. The crowd is growing fast so we iump in our car and start for the downtown area again. On the way down, we see that we are low on gas, so we stop at a prosperous looking gas station. While our tank is being filled, we notice one of our classmates inside. We go inside and find Trinidad Cuevas, manager of the station. We learn from one of the attendants that Trinidad is an expert at changing the tires on army tanks. Right next door is Nanc Haar's fender and body repair shop. lt is rumored that she works in collaboration with ex-driver train- ing teacher, Mr. Bob Netz. People say he is providing her with business. Our tank is now full and we pull out. After traveling a short distance down the street, we see a huge crowd gathering around the auction stand. In the center of the crowd is the world-famous auctioneer, Carol Fondess . Carol once got a farmer so confused that he sold his entire estate for a large family economy sizg?cracker iacks. Here, we encounter two more of our classmates. They are the farmer, Robert Waterman, who has a huge poultry ranch entirely devoted to being a refuge for the remaining world population of albatrosses. The other classmate involved was Linden Damschroder. He was the prize in the box of cracker jacks. At the auction, we see Janet Kuhlman. She tells us that she studied in universities all over the world for T7 years and finally decided to become a housewife. She is very successful, but does not claim to be a success- ful as Lisa Sparkes, who has six little sparks who, she says, often provide her with a very hot time. Ncxthe crowd begins to shift and we see a parade of soldiers coming down the street. We run out and see that the rather mean looking drill sergeant with the bull whip is our classmate .2-dy Owen. When Judy spots us she gives us a cold glare and then gives us the following advice: Discipline is the best policy. As we walk a few blocks down the street, we see the new Elmore Museum of Anything That Might Attract Attention. The plaque on the front says the building was sponsored by the great painter, -LA2Schlievert. Lyle has done some rather famous paintings including Dr. Charles Rymer's Mother's Barn, used primarily by Dr. Rymers for the storage of tardy slips he has required of students. This has become quite a hobby for habitl with Dr. Rymers. All guests to the estate are shown through the Tardy Slip Museum. All the slips have an interesting his- tory. Back to the museum. We walked around in Lyle's museum for some time before we came to the room where Marilyn Nissen is giving lessons. Marilyn has become a successful ventriloquist and is hoping to have some successful students such as Catherine Anstead and Ray Goetschius have been. In the next room, we find Carol Guth, a color technician and artist. Carol was the artist who developed the other shade of black. At the end of the hall, we find Shirley Griffin, delivering a lecture on the trials and tribulations of the Siberian muck-ox louse. ln an isolated room, we find Karen Hetrick hard at work writing a book to be titled Ivanhoe. This is expec- ted to be a great seller. As we are leaving the museum we happen to bump into John Morris, who has been ianitor of the place for the past 20 years. We stop to have a chat with him and he agrees with us that the Senior Class of '57 has been quite a successful class. 22

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P We are now entering Elmore in the year I977. We are returning to see the success of our fellow classmates in their various iobs. On the outskirts of town, we see Larr Deacon running through the streets with Jane Deitemyer right behind him. But things are not what they seem. Behind them is an angry crowd runnfn the same direction and with intent to do harm to Larry and Jane. It seems Larry Deacon is in the steal trade. He steals all day and trades it by night. Jane Deitemyer is his defense attorney. After walking a short distance down the street, we see a huge building. This is Jim Derickson's shoe empor ium. Jim got his start as a cobbler specializing in engineer boots and blue suede shoe-sf We now buy a paper and find that Patti James, a professional widow whose eighth husband has bitten the dust, is to be married to Milan Kardatfla-a professional widower who has left ll wives. Of course, Jim Bol- ander has made Milan a gift of 40 copies of his earth-shaking book, 99 WAYS TO OUTSMART A PROBBS-i SIONAL WIDOW. In charge of the ceremony is Justice of the Peace, Bud Widmer, who has made quite aname for himself in performing weddings. ' - On the next page of the paper, we see that Alice Avers has again saved the day with her skill and ingen- uity. Alice, it seems, set out to become an airline stewardess, but instead became a smoke jumper. Just below this is an article telling of the latest findings of the renowned nuclear physicist, Ruth Ann Longenecker. '- - Dn the next page we see a picture that is strangely familiar. Looking close we see that the picture is of Jo Ann Widmer, the new model for the picture on the Old Dutch cans. Business is said to be booming now. - -Tifning to the funny section, we see cartoons by the famous Alan Witt, who has nearly reached his Witt's end trying to think up funny gags. Also on this page are works bmlw. Rex always wanted to be a poet, but he could never get his words to rhyme. Then he took up cartoomg and has learned to make his pictures rhyme. Don't ask how this is done, it's all in the unforseeable future. Now as we return to our car, we notice something unusual about the traffic on the streets of Elmore. The reason is a brilliant innovation by Douglas Pickard. His idea was to put cement tires on cars and have rubber roads. This saves tires. We now enter the business establishment of Miles Kardatzke. Miles has invented and patented a device that does nothing, therefore, can be used for loafing. He invites us into his office to watch some of our class- mates on the 2 Million Yen Question. The program is sponsored by Barbara Ma si , a shorterella technician. Barbara probably got her idea from Lowell Knieriem, the renowned slenderella technician. The 2 Million Yen Question is followed by a mystery story directed by Mrs. Dora Coleman. The key to the story is a device invented by Robert Kuhlman which is a sort of burglar alarm that follows the burglar into the house, sneaks up behind him, taps him on the shoulder, and in a loud, clear voice exclaims, and we quote, Bool This show is presented by the -If-aye Rothert school of hypnotism. The school is now running a senatorial investigation on the financial affairs of Bridey Murphey. After this, we decide we have watched enough television and Miles has told us that some of our classmates can be found around the old school, so we summon enough courage to go to the salt mines. ln the school yard, we see Karen Jacobs practicing pole vaulting. Karen holds the world champion pole vault championship having pole-vaulted 43 feet on a mandolin pick. As we wander out to the stadium, we see Hn- Dolph practicing. As you all know, Tom was the one who devised the method for flying by flapping his arms. However, this type of flying is very exerting and should not be attempted by men over 6. We now enter the auditorium of the pit and here we see Barbara Moellman working out. Barbara, we learn, is a judo instructor in the United States Marines. She is on furlough now and trying to keep in shape. Just as we leave, a terrifically loud burst of music reverberates through the auditorium, then it picks up momentum and loudness till it becomes a form of theold fashioned, pardon the expression, Rock 'n' Roll. On taking a closer look, we see that it is Beatrice Hetrick, who is working hard to revive, pardon the expression, Rock 'n' Roll. Working along with Beatrice is L nda Semrock, now a popular hillbilly singer. She got herideas for a singing style from her visits to the Metropolitan Opera. 21

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'L l . Qmdaatccw Left - Commencement Exercises of the Class of i957 on June 5. G 4 La ll g l Left - Our Superintendent, Mr. Hetrick, addressed the class with a very appropriate and interesting talk and then pre- sented the class to the Presi- dent of the Board of Education, Mr. Beck, to receive their diplomas. At this point the solemn class is probably reliving old memories. Left - The Senior Class marches out of the school auditorium to the Reces- sional played by the Harris-Elmore Band. At first, the class had some problems about march- ing, but everything went very well on Graduation Night. Left - Rev. Bates of Elmore delivered the lnvocation at the beginning of the service. Our guest speaker, Dr. Clyde Hissong, inspired the class with his speech based on the wrecking bar. The Benediction was delivered by Rev. Schmidt of Elmore.