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Page 33 text:
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Elmer Wilkining, the bashful boy of the classof '55 has been granted a great promotion in the nCharles of the Ritzh cosmetic Co. in London. He is now the only lipstick tester in the world who has kissed 9,999 women in one year. We now here that Mdse. Pearline Workman,artlst of world fame, is making a tour of the universe. Many of her former classmates and friends will go to Denver June lst, where she will show her display of paintings entitledCThe Lost Paint Brush.l Thomas Wheaton, former resident of Haigler, is now making his home at Waikiki Beach, Hawaii. He is now employed as a beach- wear photographer. It is rumored that there are 5 women for every man at Waikiki this season. He will undoubtedly be a very busy man. Gwen Scrivner, established lady lawyer practicingin New York, has moved to a new location. Her office is now ln the Empire State Building. She is running a thriving business, with 951 of her clients being men. She is still single and plans a short vacation in Haigler soon. nYes, in a very short time, men from Mars willbe stalking the earthn. This is the prediction made by Velda Montgomery, astronomer of world fame. She has been making experiments on animal and vegetable life on the planets. The new song hit of the season is the work of that famous composer of hit tunes, Lucille Schwartz. The catchy, snatchy little title, is, nGilly on the bank of the nDella-wearu pink stood George Weshingmachlne With His Bones-Apartu. Madame Velma Lee Clegg, world's foremost designer of cats' clothing, announces that she will enter the field of designing for men and womens' space suits next fall. She predicts that her styles will set the pace for the world. A motorless automobile has been invented. Patent no. PAT has been issued to Eddy Collins. This brilliant scientist states that the plans for this invention were drawn while he was a student at H. H. S. Word has been received here that Shirley Potthoff, famed Metropolitan opera star who formerly lived here, will give a broadcast tonight over the station I-K-E. She will sing UI Attico Aparenchl Tutte Enonni?n cwho threw the Ovgpalls in Mistress Murphy's Chowderl. 5
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