Glendora High School - Bellendaine Yearbook (Glendora, CA)

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I l Bing LA DALMA Nfflg , N 2 3 lg? 3 . N as it w N . i 'ggi i 'R xt, 3 33 I I 0 1 ll, cgi l. gi N SHIPS PARROT SQUAWKS FoRDs O your neighbors have Fords? ll Ours do, and I should like to ex- change some of our griefs. Have you ever been awakened at five o'clock in the morning by a noise which resembles a salvo of twenty-inch guns, and were you then optimistic enough to drop olf to sleep again-only to be reawakened by a sound not unlike a cornsheller? Your Hnal gesture toward peace on such an occasion would be to get up and dress because your nerves were all atwitter. If you have not had this experience, your appropriate habi- tation is a museum. The Model T Ford, which is the instigator of all this confusion, has made more business for hospitals, tink- ering shops, undertaking parlors, and insane asylums than any other single institution in the world. Such busi- ness is made in the following ways: The Model T always manages to throw off the right amount of perso- nality in such a public grand stand as a service station, by emitting from her radiator a geyser of steam which some- times attains a height of several feet and has been known to send a radiator cap fifty feet into the air. She can al- ways be depended upon to scatter enough tacks along the way from her old upholstery to bring in a carload of flat tires from her more dignified friends. Her next sensational attrac- tion is to affect an erratic gait, with I I which she can perform many stunts, such as standing still, backfiring, and actually leaving the groundg and when a Ford is going thirty miles an hour, any unitiated passenger can easily imag- ine he will take off. If one just sticks his arm out parallel to the ground,he can get the sensation of flying with just half the risk, but when a Ford hits a short dip in the road, he gets the added sensation of the nationally advertised floating power without any extra charge. The pursuer of the Ford always is fascinat- ed by the manner in which her wheels conduct themselves. One will be going west by northg the other, west by south. If and when the wheels cooperate, the occupants of the car will probably reach their destination safe and sound. But, speaking from a mercenary standpoint, one is baiiled by one of the most lamentable achievements of the Model T-her uncanny good luck at all times. It is especially distressing to see a fifteen dollar Ford upset and completely demolish a thirty-live hun- dred dollar Packard in a pitched battle. Finally, the master at the controls of any Ford is always in complete unity of spirit with his equipage, evidenced by his air of self asurance, either real or assumed, which the drivers of other cars envy but never quite understand, nor try to imitate. After hearing all of this sales talk, how would you like to buy a good, slightly used Ford, cheap? CLIFFORD RIDER, '34

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