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Page 48 text:
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THE TRADE TACKLER LAUGHS AND TICKLERS Not at All Exclusive Diner-- Do you serve crabs here? VVaiter- We serve anyone, sit down. -Stray Stories. Ever Try Cobbler's Wax? Actor- Yes, my friends, usually my audiences are glued to their seats. Friend- What a quaint way of keep- ing them there! -Legion Weekly. New Gadget Traffic Cop- Use your noodle, lady! Use your noodle ! Lady- My goodness! Where is it? I've pushed and pulled everything in the carf'-Montreal Star. Oracle Okay .lags- Doctor, my wife has insomnia very badly. She very often remains awake until 2 o'clock in the morning. What shall I do for her? Doctor- Go home earlier. -Stray Stories. New Dad's Poor Marks How do you like your new daddy, Johnny? the son of the grass widow who had recently tript up the alter again, was asked. Oh, he's all right in some ways, re- plied the kid, but he can't do my night work as good as the other one did. - Cincinnati Enquirer. No Wings Over Rastus Two Negroes who had not seen each other in five years discovered each had been married during this time. What kinda woman did you-all get. Mose? asked Rastus. She's an angel, Rastus, dat's what she is. Boy, you sho is lucky. Mine's still livin', Rastus muttered sorrowfully- Baltimore Sun. 46 Oh, That's All Right Employer Qto applicant for jobj- Can you write shorthand? Applicant- Yes, sir-but it takes me longer. -Boston Transcript. Familiar Valet Cto Masterj-- Sir, your car is at the door. Master- Yes, I hear it knocking. - College Life. Hurling Down the Dope Where have you been for the last four years P At college taking medicinef, And did you finally get well? -Cob lege Life. Impartial Witness He- Do you believe kissing is un- healthy? She-- I couldn't say-I've never. . . He- You've never been kissed? She-- I've never been sick. -Purple Parrot. Waiting for the Cheer Leader I suppose you will miss your boy while he is at college? Yep, replied Farmer Corntassel, I dunno what I'll do without him. He got the live stock so they won't move unless he gives 'em the college yell, an' I can't remember it. -The Quill. lligh Visibility The schoolmistress was giving her class of young pupils a test on a recent natural history lesson. Now, Bobby Jones, she said, tell me where the elephant is found. The boy hesitated for a moment, then his face lit up. The elephant, teacher, he said, is such a large animal it is scarcely ever lost.,'-Montreal Star.
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Page 47 text:
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THE TRADE TACKLER P.-T. ASSOCIATION, 1934--1935 CContinuedD guest speaker. He lectured on his Travels in the Far West. He showed us a series of iilms that he made during his travels. Miss Ellen Cook recited White Lilacs and An Italian at a Baseball Game. The prize for the evening was won by Mrs. M. lVheeler. ll'Til1'Cl'1 26, 1935. The guest speaker at the March meeting was Dr. Esther Richards of Phipps Clinic, Johns Hopkins Hospital. She spoke on Varying Abilities Among School Childrenf, Dr. Richards said that education enables individuals to grow gradually and to make progressive adaptations to life, and vocational schools try to give children what they enjoy and at the same time train them toward what is best adapted to their needs. The soloists for the evening were Mr. Benner Wright and Mr. .lack Morrison. They were accompanied on the piano by Miss Margaret Leight. Miss Engle spoke about our operetta and urged everyone to attend. She announced the Regional Meeting, and asked the parents to send in their names as there was a limited supply of tickets. The attendance prize was won by Mrs. Antoi- nette Fertitta. April 23, 1935. At the April meeting of the Parent-Teacher Association there were approximately eighty persons in attendance. Our guest speaker was Miss Nina Russell, of the Personnel Department of the Gas and Electric Company. She talked on The Value. of Personality in Business and explained the difficulties that face our young people going into business today. Some of the qualities necessary to secure positions are: appearance, manner of approach, speech, self-confidence, good health, intelligence, characteristics on job, character, ability to get along with other people, self-control, application in one's work, right attitude toward work, diligence, co- operation, and sympathy. Miss Engle thanked Miss Russell for her splendid talk and said that 62 per cent. of the people who lose their jobs, do so because they lack the qualities she had mentioned. A letter from Dr. Wegein was read in which he ac- cepted our invitation to be our guest speaker at the May meeting. Mr. E. R. Tucker drew the prize for the evening. 45
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Page 49 text:
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THE TRADE TACKLER .i 1 MORE LAUGHS AND TICKLERS Isolated An Iowa professor says he finds five different kinds of dumbness. It seems in- credible that a prominent man like that should have met so few people.-Worcese t'cr Gazette. Life's Little Surprises Girl- Why didnit you tell me I had a dab of rouge on the tip of my nose? Escort- How should a man know how you girls want to wear your complexion? -Boston Transcript. Battling the Skeleton Pupil Qafter lesson on creationj- But teacher, daddy says we are descended from monkeys. Teacher- We canit discuss your pri- vate family aifairs in class. -En Rolig fGothenburgj. Count 'Em You want me to raise your salary, eh?', growled a Wellington boss to his em- ployee. Give me at least two good rea- sonsf' The employee gazed meekly at his em- ployer and murmured, Twins. -Wichila. Nudist Visitor A little Logan Heights girl said there was a new baby at her house. Has the baby come to stay? she was asked. I think sof' she said, he's taken all his things off. +San Diego Union. Throwing the Bull Now, girls, said the restaurant man- ager, I want you all to look your best to- day. Add a little powder to your cheeks and take a bit more care with your hair. Something special on? asked the head waitress. No, informed the manager. The beef's tough. --Epworth Herald. She'd No Mechanical Tastes Betty Qwho has been served with a wing of chickenj- Mother, can't I have an- other bit? This is nothing but hinges. - Popular Color Green quiets the nerves, an oculist ex- plains. You bet it does, especially if it's on a nice crisp piece of paper with a 10 on it.-Boston Herald. Pants Pressed? Have you ever appeared as a witness before? Yes, your honor. In what suit?,' My blue serge. -Boston Transcript. u Cash Wanted Pay your taxes with a smile, advised Mrs. Gotrocks. I should love to, said Miss Comely, but they insist on cash. Ideal Wife Mabel- Doesn't that Scottish boy ever take you to the cinema, now?,' Phyllie fbitterlyj-- No, I think he must have found a girl who can see pic- tures in the fire I -Boston Transcript. In a Conference A little boy was saying his go-to-bed prayers in a very low voice. I can't hear you, dear, his mother whispered. Wasn't talking to you, said the small one firmly.-Brown Jug. Earnest Student Tommy- Grandma, if I was invited out to dinner, should I eat pie with a fork? Grandma- Yes, indeed, Tommy. Tommy- You havenyt got a pie in the house that I could practise on, have you, Grandma? -American Boy. -L7
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