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Page 33 text:
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Granted, impersonating a Filipino houseboy can be trying For your peace of mind, you may want to consider other alternatives: Sleep in the library with everyone else. Splurge on a one-man tent and set up camp in the center of a spacious highway cloverleaf. Bed down amongst the excessive shrubbery of a suburban shopping mall or executive campus. If you ' re lucky enough to own a car. make use of it. by which I mean, live in it. I myself lived for nearly three quar- ters in my 67 Chrysler Town and Country station wagon on the top floor of the K parking deck. Since I rarely drove it out of the deck, my parking expense was minimal. Security guards were always kind enough to awake me early each morning to remind me I was not allowed to sleep in my A. rar I naxit f mi, .-t ; i » 7 m car. I never missed a morning class. - ' . , r ie old now ycu-seeil. now you dor,; Irick is 3 popul3r one with CO Hruby. as demonstrated m the Bi P Below, A locker is much like a closet and a good investment, according ,0 Hruby He is shown here cleaning out his room one morning. Impoverished Student J9
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Page 32 text:
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Shoestring Try to bo reasonable, however. Success is measured out by the ates in ihinibles Be content with whatever you gel; it is what you do gel thai is important. Rest assured you will receive all the fame and adoration you deserve only after you ' re dead. Second, in this bounteous land of ours, freebies are as easily had as dandelion greens il you know where to seek them. Have you ever eaten dandelion greens? They are very nutritious. Great, but what about the real necessities in this world, like a regular address for asking parents to send money? Taken together, rent and utilities comprise the greatest percentage of a student ' s budget. Some students spend up to twolhirds of their income on these items when there ' s abso- lutely no need. There are all sorts of places a student can live absolutely free. At a friend ' s house, for instance. The trick with being taken in when found upon a friend ' s doorstep is to make your appearance a matter of delight for your friend. This is easy if your friend is about to take a vacation (you can offer to take care of the place), easier still if your friend is of the opposite sex (you can offer to take care of your friend), and a piece of cake if your friend ' s place IS. in fact, your friend ' s parent ' s place, and they ' re about to lake a acation Always keep the sack by the door for quick egress ' any day now. ' Here are some handy how-to-be-a-welcome-guest point ers: Never overstay your welcome; a month or two at any one place for a time is usually sufficient. Never arrive anywhere empty-handed. Always remember this when taking leave of a host. No matter what your host says the first evening, confine your acceptance of his or her generosity to the things that really matter; a warm place to sleep, good food to eat. Keep your eyes off the liquor cabinet and your host ' s male. Learn how to prepare absolutely scrumptuous meals out of thin air and boiling water; this lends to impress a host. Soup from left-overs, or early morning biscuits are a cinch and a pleasant surprise for the household. Always wash the dishes. Always. Insist on it. Every time. All of them. This will earn you three days grace right off the bat. Avoid using the host ' s shower, hor this, the S quarter fee (or a locker in the P.E. building is a bargain. There is some- thing magical about a guest who stays fresh and clean with- out getting the towels wet and clogging the drain. Keep your portable possessions down to what can be kept neatly in a single sack, and keep them there no nylons draping the shower curtain rod. no rancid socks airing on the bedposts in (act. no laundry of any sort. They may not admit It. but hosts gel nervous when their guests make themselves too at home. Always keep the sack by the door for quick egress any day now Engage the host ' s favorite delusions. Remember to search out wealthy hosts who can afford the luxury of your attentions. AtKfvf Hruby cjtctu ' s J lew z ' f one Jilternoon Ixiween ctattet. At rigtti Mjliinp; f. t use .» . ' m t f Ihe itjnv Jr )r vm .irt-Hjnti campus. Hruh 38 Impoverished Student
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