Georgia State University - Rampway Yearbook (Atlanta, GA)

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Living on a Shoestring J- Student Gives let Them Eat Cake ' a New Meaning -i by 00- Hruhy The goal of everyone is bow to live without working. To do this, one must either have inherited or stolen money, or one must persuade society to pay one for doing what one likes. I.e.. for playing. — W.H. Auden The Prolific and the Devour er What, you may ask. is an impoverished student? An impoverished student is someone dedicated to learning all life has to teach: someone dedicated to shaping the stuff of experience in the smithy of his soul for art and scholar- shipi someone, alas, so dedicated as to be unable to devote forty hours a week to recompensatory labors. This impassioned student-of-the-cosmos is usually an art- ist of some kind: a painter, a potter, a philosopher, a poet, a parent — perhaps a scholar, or a saint, or a common street- person, maggot-like, awaiting the end of his pupation. He may even be an MBA candidate. The hard of heart would call an Improverished student a college bum. but that would be unkind and probably unfair. It is not easy getting by in this Protestant, work-ethic-orient- ed world of ours without gainful employment. It takes vast amounts of genius and self-confidence, resourcefulness and. above all. finesse. Though it is a hard life, it is a gratifying one of personal and creative freedom, a life of lessened expectations, but fewer extraneous responsibilities. In short. it is a life of simple pleasures, all the more pleasurable for being free. You might ask: Say, George, that sounds like the life for no one rich and powerful ever got that way from the sweat of his or her own brow. me-, how does a person get started? In order for you to be unencumbered to pursue your art. your studies, your life ' s destiny — in order merely to be free (does one need an excuse?) — you must become indepen- dently wealth. This may seem like a tall order, but it ' s easier than you ' d think. What do I mean by independently wealthy? A big bank account? Investment portfolios? Mansions? A library of vid- eo games? No. Such is for the working rich. totally out of your league. You are independently wealthy when you can help yourself to the necessities of life without having to labor for them. Still, if you would be a successful impoverished student, you would do well to closely scrutinize the ways of the rich and powerful. For starters, no one rich and powerful ever got that way from the sweat of his or her own brow. Such insidious non sense has been perpetrated by the rich and powerful for years to keep underlings in harness. No. since the dawn of time, the rich and powerful have gotten that way thanks to the sweat of other people ' s brows. That is the meaning of independently wealthy. Therefore. Rule »l (the only rulei you are to be independently wealthy, you must live off the sweat of other people ' s brows. Anyone will do your par- ents, your neighbors, your friends, your associates, your lovers — anyone, in fact, who can be conned into it. If living off the sweat of those around you seems uncon scionably parasitic, consider the following handy rationaliza- tions: I) You are not trying to amass a fortune here: you want only enough to get by. 1) What you create and or become gives back a higher quality of life to those whose company you keep (i.e.. those who produce the brow sweat you so desperately crave). 3) None of those whom you live off of are themselves capable of doing what you ' re doing, or they ' d be doing it. And after all somebody ' s got to do it. At least, somebody ought to do it. At least, if they can get away with it. 4) When it comes to work, better them than you. Ihese are all fine rationalizations often used by the car- nivorously rich. Tune into this year ' s Republican convention and take a listen, if you don ' t believe me. Rationalizaton 4 leads us to a second similarity between the successful impoverished student and the rich and power- ful: a heightened awareness of the distinction between one- self and them. This means recasting everything in terms of oneself. The phone bill, for instance, is not your bilh it is the phone company ' s bill. It is not your money they want; they want their money. In fact, they ' re demanding their money, but you haven ' t got it. You ' ve only got your own money and very little of that. So let them pay it. Now. isn ' t that easy? Well. gee. George, that ' s great and everything, but what about, like, rent and food and clothing and stuff? f-irst. be sure of your necessities. Much of what students consider necessary simply isnt. You can live quite nicely without a television set. without a new car. without fancy fashionable clothing, without a designer decorated living room in which to entertain friends. You can get by fine on fewer than three meals a day. and you definitely do not need a subscription to Atlanta Magazine. If you cannot learn to believe this simple truth that sacrifice is both easy and necessary — you will be enslaved forever to pointless |obs to support your habit, (or you are a product lunkie And here my tolerance runs out. I have no pity (or product junkieS; they deserve their (ate. On the other hand, doing without ihese necessary luxur- ies means fewer bills, meaning less need for money, meaning less need for a |ob. meaning more free time to pursue your art. meaning a greater likelihood of success with your art. and. perchance. o( cracking the Big Time. And the Big Time, as we all know, means Big Bucks with all those necessary luxuries in unheard o( and tasteless abundance! 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Shoestring Try to bo reasonable, however. Success is measured out by the ates in ihinibles Be content with whatever you gel; it is what you do gel thai is important. Rest assured you will receive all the fame and adoration you deserve only after you ' re dead. Second, in this bounteous land of ours, freebies are as easily had as dandelion greens il you know where to seek them. Have you ever eaten dandelion greens? They are very nutritious. Great, but what about the real necessities in this world, like a regular address for asking parents to send money? Taken together, rent and utilities comprise the greatest percentage of a student ' s budget. Some students spend up to twolhirds of their income on these items when there ' s abso- lutely no need. There are all sorts of places a student can live absolutely free. At a friend ' s house, for instance. The trick with being taken in when found upon a friend ' s doorstep is to make your appearance a matter of delight for your friend. This is easy if your friend is about to take a vacation (you can offer to take care of the place), easier still if your friend is of the opposite sex (you can offer to take care of your friend), and a piece of cake if your friend ' s place IS. in fact, your friend ' s parent ' s place, and they ' re about to lake a acation Always keep the sack by the door for quick egress ' any day now. ' Here are some handy how-to-be-a-welcome-guest point ers: Never overstay your welcome; a month or two at any one place for a time is usually sufficient. Never arrive anywhere empty-handed. Always remember this when taking leave of a host. No matter what your host says the first evening, confine your acceptance of his or her generosity to the things that really matter; a warm place to sleep, good food to eat. Keep your eyes off the liquor cabinet and your host ' s male. Learn how to prepare absolutely scrumptuous meals out of thin air and boiling water; this lends to impress a host. Soup from left-overs, or early morning biscuits are a cinch and a pleasant surprise for the household. Always wash the dishes. Always. Insist on it. Every time. All of them. This will earn you three days grace right off the bat. Avoid using the host ' s shower, hor this, the S quarter fee (or a locker in the P.E. building is a bargain. There is some- thing magical about a guest who stays fresh and clean with- out getting the towels wet and clogging the drain. Keep your portable possessions down to what can be kept neatly in a single sack, and keep them there no nylons draping the shower curtain rod. no rancid socks airing on the bedposts in (act. no laundry of any sort. They may not admit It. but hosts gel nervous when their guests make themselves too at home. Always keep the sack by the door for quick egress any day now Engage the host ' s favorite delusions. Remember to search out wealthy hosts who can afford the luxury of your attentions. AtKfvf Hruby cjtctu ' s J lew z ' f one Jilternoon Ixiween ctattet. At rigtti Mjliinp; f. t use .» . ' m t f Ihe itjnv Jr )r vm .irt-Hjnti campus. Hruh 38 Impoverished Student