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Page 16 text:
1. B. J. T. P.— NOT S. S. Troopers 2. Bell ' ll Ring 3. My Kingdom for a Horse 4. Model Club 5. Off that Bench 6. Hey Mac! 7. Swing and Sway 8. Stag Party 9. Short Bunt 10. Stand Still 11. Put Put 12. Assemblies— HUMMMM 13. Whistler 14. " As You Like It " We Did THE WORM I He crawls, he steps, he skims along the grass Plucking out his watch he frowns, He ' s late for Easter Mass. He frowns, he pouts, he makes an awfu l face. He ' ll have to hurry madly And muss his shirt of lace!
Page 15 text:
A PARODY ON " AMERIA THE BEAUTIFUL " Or, Ode to L. M. Oh, beautiful for shoulders broad, For smile of flashing hue. For lashes curling, long, and dark, ' Round eyes of grayish blue. Oh, beautiful for tuba played With skill of first degree. For personality that charms Some people, such as me. Oh, beautiful for tousled hair, A golden brownish shade. For sweaters with block G ' s and stripes, Through athletics made. Oh, beautiful for muscles hard, For form so strong and tall, My heart jumps each time that I Pass by you in the hall. Oh, beautiful with all these things, For high mentality. All this is true, but why do you Like them instead of me? Bob Sutherland: " What ' s that piece of string tied around your finger for? " Bozo W.: " That ' s a knot. Forget-me-not is a flower; with flour we make bread, and with bread we eat cheese. This is to remind me to buy pickled onions. " Anne Parrish: " Do you believe that clothes make the man? " Betty Murray: " Well, a good suit has made many a lawyer. " Mrs. Mead: " Arithmetic is an exact science. Figures can ' t lie. For instance, if one man can build a house in 12 days, 12 men can build it in one. " Jerry Wilson: " Then 288 men can build it in one hour, 17,280 in one minutes, or 1,036,800 in one second. " Miss Lowery: " Why does the cream rise to the top of the milk? " Joan Andersen: " So the people can get it. " ? He cuts his classes; in math gets D ' s. He flirts with every girl he sees. He falsely thinks he ' s directly descended From Adam Lazonga, with Romeo blended. He trips girls going down the stairs. He ' s true to you (as thus he swears. You think he looks you in the eye — He ' s really watching some blonde go by.) When you even spoke to a boy, he ' d fume. But he could chase every girl in the room. He ' s a rowdy in public and thinks that he ' s funny. His word is as useful as counterfeit money. Like calling cards, he distributes his pin. Those could, who have worn it, a union begin. He does as he pleases — the devil may care! (The devil, wits ended, is tearing his hair.) He ' s egotistical, unpredictable, Irresponsible, unrestrictable. Now who would fall for a guy like this! ! (Well, you can add me to the list.) Mr. Pederson had lectured on the various facts of communism, fascism and naziism. Then turn- ing to the bright pupil, he said: " Bill Farwell, what would you do with all these isms? " Bill Farwell: " I ' d make them all wasms! " Joe Wyman: " V hat ' s become of the hiker ' s club? " Don Schuler: " Oh, it disbanded. It was getting too hard to persuade passing motorists to pick us up and give us a lift. " Miss Stone: " What is gravity? " Bob Anderson: " Well, it was first discovered by Isaac Newton. It ' s chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling from the tree. " Mrs. Bagnall (looking over Phil Mower ' s home work): " I don ' t see how it ' s possible for a single person to make so many mistakes. " Phil (proudly): " It isn ' t any single person, teacher. Father helped me. " BABY PICTURES— See Page 5
Page 17 text:
1 ' 2. Girls ' Fashion Show 3. Sadie Hawkins Day 4. Ditto-Those Feet 5. Brush Away, Little Girl 6. Sneakin ' in (see No. 2) 7. More Silliness 8. Even the Principal Must Eat! 9. Cafeteria— Good Garfield Food 10. Put That Down 11. Death Grip 12. What! Studying? II He sneaks, he steals, he tiptoes into church. At last he ' s finally made it but. There is no place to perch. He squats, he stands, he sits upon the floor. At last the sermon ' s over; He hurries out the door. Ill He crawls, he steps, he skims along the grass. Plucking out his watch he sighs, He ' s been to Easter mass. He sighs, he smiles, he feels much better so. He takes his time — goes home again. And rests — nowhere to go! THE SQUIRREL Whisky, frisky, Hippity hop. Up he goes To the tree top. Whirly, twirly, Round and round, Down he scampers To the ground. Furly, curly, What a tail! Tall as a feather, Broad as a sail. Where ' s his supper? In the shell. Snappity, crackity, Out it fell.
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