Gallery (FFG 26) - Naval Cruise Book

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Limassol, Cyprus AOne of the higher peaks in the PEYIA FOREST. VBAAAA! Cheese or warm milk, anyone? ' .- JUSr A l 7 Bradshaio is wondering why the camera is waaaaay over there?! riw subterranean portion oj the ' ' s IA FOREST. flunks Mi 75

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GALLERY RETURNS To The Red Sea A 4 Soviet Tango - class submarine is sighted running on the surface in the Mediterranean, while, GALLERY is enroute to the Suez Canal. k- ' MAIL CALL! No shortage of mail PC ' s here ... VEvcr wonder what happens to the galley trash and garbage when hold all trash and garbage on station is called away? TSteel beach picnics provided a break in the monotony of boarding ships. « . '

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DID YOU EVER WONDER ... how one might compare a deployment to civilian life? Read on ... 1. Wlwn commencing this simulation, remem- ber to lock yourself inside and board up all win- dows with all friends and family outside, com- municating only with letters that your neigh- bors will hold for two weeks before delivering: losing one out of every five. Have a friend or neighbor yell MAIL CALL! at your door and in four out of five of these say, You didn ' t get anything! when yon answer. 2. Surround yourself with 200 people you don ' t like. People who chainsmoke, fart loudly, snore like a Mack truck on an uphill grade, complain constantly, seldom shower 01 brush their teeth and use expletives in speech — much the way kids use sugar on cold cereal 3. Unplug all radios and televisions to complete- ly cut yourself off from the outside world Have a neighbor bring you TIML or NLWSWLEK from 2 to 3 months ago and a PLAYBOY maga- zine with the pictures cut out 4. Cut a mattress in half, h ngthwise and enclose three sides Add a root that prevents you from sitting in any position at all (10 inches is about right) and place it on a platform at least six feet from the floor. Place a dead animal under your sheets to simulate the smell of your bunkmate ' s laundry and sheets Whenever possible, have someone take your pillow or blanket (or both) to simulate that special comaraderie that exists only onboard a U.S. Naval vessel 5. Remove all plants, pictures and decorations. Paint all furnishings and walls gray, while or the shade of green found on hospital O.R. smocks. 6. Since you have no doctor, slock up on band- aids, aspirin and Aclifed, which, have been proven to cure every known disease and ailment known to man. 7 Do not flush the toilet(s) for the first three days to simulate the smell of forty people using the same commode After thai, flush once daily and pour a quart of pine oil in each commode and toilet to overwhelm the odor. Shower water should be all hot or all cold. When you gel soaped up Isoap on face), have your neighbor shut off all water S. Wear only approved coveralls or proper uni- forms (no special or cutoff t-shirts). Even though nobody seems to care, twice a week clean and press one uniform in the dark on a broken ironing board (or towel on the floor) and wear it for four hours. On your way to change into your coveralls, catch and rip the sleeve of your shirt on a sharp object. Curse and yell, then, wad it up and throw il in your locker — forgot- ten until the next inspection or watch. 9. Cut your hair weekly, making il shorter each tune until you are bald or look like you tangled with a demented sheep shearer Have a friend or neighbor tell you to gel a haircut at least once every oilier week, whether you need one or not. 10. Work 18-hour cycles steeping only four hours at a lime to ensure your body doesn ' t know or care if it ' s day-time or night-time. 11. Listen to your favorite cassette six tunes a day for two weeks then play music that causes acute nausea until you are glad to get back to your favorite cassette 12. Set your alarm clock to go off at the snooze interval for the first hour of sleep to simulate alarms of walch-slauders and night crew going off at odd hour limes, waking you up. Place your bed on a rocking table to ensure that you ' re tossed from side-to-side for the remaining three hours 13. Prepare all food while blindfolded, using all the spices that you can giope foi (or use none at all), lo simulate shipboard food. Remove the blindfold and eat as fast as humanly possible. If the food contains more than one pari per thou sand of fiber, dispose of it 14 Prepare yourself an emergency exit that will