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Page 39 text:
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dancer, Betty Turner. However, she is having quite a bit of Trouble trying to keep the coon brothers, Leroy Smithwick and Roy Bently from bursting her bubbles. Now the chorus line staggers - I mean dances - out on the stage. They are Pat Robertson, Wanda Henry, Jo Iodine Newcomb, Charlie Jean Mother Eudy, Pat Taylor, Bessie Van Hook, Nancy Eenie Norton, Peggy Toons Looney, Carolyn Craig, Angela Swiv- el Hips Stramiello, Katherine Johnson, and Shirley 'Wool Williams. Slipping around is our gal with the long tresses, Bertha Black. We'll never tell, but she is really the head of our spacers vice squad, selling: C-I2 H-12 N-2 O-3 powder. Her accomplices are Mona Weaver, Sandra Levinson, and Don Loy. Over in the corner are the hat check girls, the Royal Martha Frenchie French and the peroxided beauty?, Hulinda Tapp. Sad, but true is the fact that not all the people in the world today are successes, and as we look in the closet on our right we see Nathan Allison and Patty Kissable Taylor, standing on their soap boxes, debating the subiect Which Comes First the Chicken or the Egg to their audience of a cocker spaniel and 2 iay birds. Hark! Do we hear some melodious voices singing a lullaby? Why look - it's Jimmy ldiot Ward, Glen Cherokee Keeton, Bob Norris, and Charlie Stephens bounc- ing their brats on their much used laps. Last but not least, we have some leaders who seem to be much needed among our lowly spacers . They are Kay Pres Lennon and Donnie Veep Lobertini. We hope that some of their teachings will help Carolyn Hot Rod Heins and prevent her from being Rooked into anything. Ouch! What was that bump? Oh, Say folks! We're here! Here in the land of eternal stupidity! Just breathe in the air. lt really does something to you, doesn't it? You know, the horse is the most useful of all animals. So is the cow. My mama had two ducks. One of them died. It smelled awful. lt there's anything l hate, its a Horse. Z! Z5-au J -44.01, ' . J , M . er? '44-l.f'?,45 . 9' 35
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Page 38 text:
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x Attention Ladies cmd Gentlemen, Goofs, and Idiots! You are about to witness the greatest spectacle of all time. - 4 seconds - 3 seconds - 2 seconds - l second - And now the Big Bad Bird is zooming into space. Destination - land of Eternal Stupidity. You know of course, that the brains behind this deal is none other than the great master mind, Eugene Cox. And we must not forget the wonderful mechanical geniuses who built the ship, Owen Hornby, Bill Watkins, and Earl Nashville Wells, As we look into the control room, we see Gerald Sex Appeal Raine, Ozzie Huffaker, and Fern Lou Bales fHaw'd she get in heref-'J vainly trying to decide which way is up. You see, Gerald insists that to go up you must head sideways. Leaving the control room, we step into the kitchen of the ship. Cooking madly away are Pat Chambers, Marilyn Coatney, and Iva Lee Hill. Peering over their shoulders is the universally famous dietitian, Faye Large. Over in the corner we see the two most successful dishwashers of all time, singing Granclma's Lye Soap and using same, Joe Rogers and Pat - ah! Pardon me! - Patricia Hinds. Now we are entering the recreation room. In the center is a beautiful and gigantic swimming pool. Swimming around is the wonder of the universe, Saralene Sardine Johnson. A reporter standing by, Charles Kennedy, tells us that there has iust been a bathing beauty contest. Judges were: Robert Reeverts, Frankie Blackett, and Charlie BuIl Durham. They are now warbling their theme song, Knight and Day . Instead of having a head iudge, there was a figure judge, Raymond Bell. By the way, the winner was the gorgeous, figure-perfect Buggy Buck Buckley. At this time we must mention that we have the new president of the United Mine Workers, Bill Mogo Rook, with us today. By the way, he is also the heavyweight wrestling champion of the universe. As the strains of In the Sweet By and By reach our ears, we see Rev. James Cavalaris conducting a prayer service for Billy Neel. Poor Bill'is loved by all women, especially one Louise Bales, and has a horrible time keeping them away. Next is the Night Club, where a stupendous fmostly stupidi floor show is going on. These is the immortal J. Cobb Easterly singing Asleep in the Deep iWe wish he werel. And now the beautiful torch singer, Barbara Davis is practicing fire swallowing with her torches while the band plays Kiss of Fire . lncidentally, the band leader is none other than Don Edwards. Entertaining the poor sats on the first row, lWildl Bill Big Red Dooker Satterfield and Bob Little Red Dooker Miller, is a marvelous bubble 34
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Page 40 text:
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Douglas Smith Pat Chambers Sanclra Levinson Bill Watkins Charles Kennedy Marilyn Coatney Don Lobertini Betty Prater
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