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Page 33 text:
C lf X px
-E' PROPHECY-Continued r ,
What! Do you mean to say that Bill Rettew has become a min-
ister? VVell, not exactly a minister. You see, he is a missionary
in the Hawaiian Islands. I received a letter from him the other
day-a most interesting letter-which stated that he liked the cli-
mate, although it was a little "rare" He also described his first
impression as he entered
a native village, with the
huts made of grass by
some little maidens who
quite took Bill's eye. Well,
you might know it was
8.9, not very long until there
was a little wedding on
Frederick Klein, after
going through college and
having acquired his B.V. D.
degree, thought it best to
' go abroad to complete his
studies before becoming a professor in Franklin and Marshall College.
He expected to get some kind of degree conferred upon him when
he visited Cambridge. However, there was no such luck for Klein,
because, on the way over, a big vase fell upon him, but fortunately
he was rescued by the crew before he was smothered to death.
When the ship reached port he was nabbed by Barnum and Bailey's
to act as the greatest living pigmy.
Caskey has started a system of hotels which he expects, in the
course of time, to spread from coast to coast, and maybe even en-
circle the globe. Although the guests often give up good dollars
for poor quarters, they are never known to complain about the meals.
Caskey always has the meals arranged so that everything is in season
when a guest wants it, except that sausage, comes in dog-days. I
Next, and last of all, comes my worthy colleague, Kipp. He is
now a comedian in the movies and no doubt he will make a good
hit in his new production, 'fWhat a Fool This Mortal Is!," or in "A
VVord to the Wise is Useless." As Chaplin has a million dollar smile,
so has Kipp a million dollar face, which is the talk of all New York
society, and also, as the road to hell is paved with good intentions,
so is Kipp's, for he is now aiming at a chorus-girl and may hit a star.
Page 32 text:
U ig, W
i f PROPHECY--Continued
lg of medicine to pour down the animal's throat. He calls this work
pleasure, and one can readily see why he stays up working in his
laboratory into the wee hours of the night trying to perfect glass
N2 eyes fm' moles and wooden tails for guinea
xg A g . pigs.
it Bachman is a man who will never
it fail in business because there will al-
ways be a long line of "stiffs" to be
ix buried. Although there are "stiffs"
tg by the hundreds, Bachman always be-
ll lieves in being prepared for hard times
6 that might arise, so he takes a little
spin in his machine to drum up trade,
and if he has had any luck by the
end of the day, his business has thrived
so much that he is able to buy more
gas in order to get a few "stiffs" the
When Eshleman was asked what
he was going to be when he grew up
he said, "An engineer. " Well, the rest was left for one to guess. At
first it was thought he was going to be a construction engineer, but
then it occurred to us that he could not sit still long enough to draw
a trestle. Looking for something suitable to his nature, it soon
occurred to us that he wanted to be a railroad engineer on the Colum-
bia Express. Oh! one mustn't forget that he also has another en-
gineering engagement in Columbia.
After making an unsuccessful attempt to establish a fire depart-
ment at school, Spencer went out into the world of politics. He
started by driving one of the post-office jitneys, and kept on climb-
ing until he became mayor of the city. While in ofhce he took an
active part in all the societies of the city, such as "The Society for
Prevention of Cruelty to Dead Animals" and "The Charity Society"
-whose charity begins at home but ends when you reach the cook.
We could mention numerous other societies, including several church
societies. It is predicted that before he steps out of office he will
be able to get the thieves to go to church, while the policemen sing
in the choir.
Page 34 text:
if M As
It was a cold mid-winter eve,
The coldest I had known,
The logs within were blazing bright,
The snows without were blown.
All cuddled up in cushions warm
Before the chimney place,
I sat there in the deepening gloom,
The firelight on my face.
I heard the hissing of the sap,
And saw each sparkling flame
Leap from the burning logs, as if
At tackle in a game,
Wliile flocks of sparks, with radiant life,
Like birds storm-tossed in flight,
XN7ere eddied round the chimney's throat,
And vanished from my sight.
VVhile thus I idly sat and dreamed,
And watched the flames at play,
Wliat seemed but shadowy shapes before
Now changed to F. IVI. A.
In lambent Haines Old Glory streamed
Upon its stately pole,
Before the "Hall" we knew so well
Wfhen we were on its roll.
I saw its rooms ablaze with light,
And heard its merry din,
Saw windows dark when lights were
Yet knew them bright within.
I heard the rhythmic martial tread,
The captain's stern command,
A bugle blew, and waiters rushed
To feed the starving band.
5 2 fl
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