Franklin School - Franklinite Yearbook (New York City, NY)

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THE FRANKLINITE 1 CLASS IIDIRIIDIIOIIHIIIESIBCII QNE night as I lay dreaming, a radio blared suddenly out of a C A great blanket of darkness, The announcer's persuasive voice be- gan, Now the Gross Advertising Corporation brings you the latest news of this day, June 7, 1960, right from the wires of Intercontinental Press through the courtesy of Marcus and Company, clothes de luxe. I-Ie continued confidently, Men, have you got four o'clock sag? Do your trou- sers bag at the knees before sunset? Listen to what well-dressed celebrities say. Steve Cohen, famous football coach at 'State' writes, 'I owe my success to your product and a line averaging 270 pounds. This is sure, it's Marcus for mel Remarks ever-popular comedian George 'Oh You Kid' Cioldberg, 'They won't let you wear it even if it fitsl You have to payl' Dave 'Dive- Ilomber' Friedman, newly-crowned heavyweight champion of Brooklyn, agrees, 'lt is to my Marcus T'wo-Way Stretch Trunks that I attribute my unusual triumphs in the realm of hsticuffs. Sincerest felicitations from the depths of my heartf Here is Donald R. Grab, who when finding himself isolated in war stricken Europe, bicycled home. Questioned about this miraculous feat of crossing the ocean, Mr. Grab modestly declared, 'I had faith.' Mr. Grab, 'The Newsreel of the Air! Reel One: Events Abroadl It was reliably reported in usually well-informed sources that Mussolini will soon enter the conflict. Donald Zucker, American Ambassador, cabled President Roosevelt, 'Italian students rioted before the Siamese lega- tion today, shouting, 'Siam is encircling usl' Reel Two: National Topics! Chairman Jay Topkis revealed that the House of Representatives' MILITARY AFFAIRS COMMITTEE had exam- ined the super gas bomb of inventor Ernest Katz. There is a rumor that the fumes are made by burning old beer bottle caps and Good I-Iumor sticks. This weapon is so potent that not only the plans but also the originator were set afire in the trash basket. Congressman Topkis is to be remembered for his thrilling oration to the effect that the pen is mightier than the pencil. Martin Dorfman, purveyor of flame-throwers, magnetic mines, and other such novelties, claims that business is sky-high. The plant will be rebuilt rapidly and opened once more. Reel Three: Local Happenings. The highly controversial Lichten- stein portrait of I-Iochenberg. the 'Pants Kingf was stolen from the Metro- politan Museum of Art, an hour ago. Police Chief Edward Ballin expects a Mr. Hochenberg to be quickly apprehended. Lichtenstein is now engaged TWENTY SIX 9

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THE FRANKLINITE 9 40 the period when Mr. Kern's wit was at its keenest, Mr, Welling's criticism the sharpest, and our Headmaster's understanding the greatest. In the task of Writing history, the scholar turns to first sources for his authority. Consequently it occurred to me that those who could best furnish the data and draiw conclusions concerning the class of l94O would be our revered and honored teachers. When I suggested the procedure to one of my classmates, he advised me not to tempt fortune in this manner, Yet the true historian is ever seeking truth. Bravely, therefore, I approached my teachers With this question, I-low would you characterize, in one sentence, your opinion of the class of l94O? The answers were almost all the same. Mr. Magnus seriously Hhad nothing to say, While Mr. Berenberg expressed himself in these well chosen Words, On advice of counsel, I refuse to commit myself. Never- theless, undaunted by these statements, which signify nothing, we still believe We are Franklin's best graduating class. But the history of a class is not complete upon graduation from school. The future is ours, still to achieve in the spirit of Franklin. Not until the last reunion is attended can all our accomplishments be recorded. We hope that they will be many and great, an honor to Franklin and to our land which we have learned to love during our school days. ALLAN HORWITZ 44 TWENTY FIVE

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THE FRANKLINITE 9 40 in completing a mural on the interior of a gas chamber of the Waukegan, lllinois, dog pound, 'ildxclusivel Mayor Eisenstadt confided at the big warehouse confla- gration that the contract of the new city hall had been awarded to the firm of Manny Krulwich, Inc. Brummel and Lewis, well known designers of that building that was constructed up-side-down so that people wouldn't hit their heads on the low ceilings, have been retained as engineers. A week ago, I predicted a story would break on the egg racket. All the accused were indicated today. Quipped their attorney Michael Schwartz, 'l guess the yolk's on me.' The wife of 'The Wolf of Wall Street,' Morty Levine, is resting comfortably at the Doctor's Hospital. Mrs. Levine, ex-Earl Carroll beauty, refused to be treated by anyone save Dr. Stephen A. Gettinger, famous pediatrician, who was vacationing at Rio de Janeiro. He rushed here by plane. The doctor has landed and has the situation well in hand. lt's a boy! Reel Pour: The Amusement World! Producers Lesser and Kurtz have just previewed their spectacular revival of William S'hakespeare's im- mortal classic 'Hamletf The protagonist, the melancholy Dane, was played by stern faced tragedian Walter Swain, fresh from his screen triumph. 'Geronimo' To quote drama critic A. Richard Mendel of the Post, 'lt was really a comedy of errors' The bard did not sleep soundly this night. Publicity agent for C. G. S. CColossal-Gigantic-StupendousD Pic- tures, Harvey Gold, disclosed how ace camera man Burton Zucker managed to get those diflicult angle shots you saw in 'Departed with the Breezef lt seems that Burt was suspended by his neck from an immense swinging crane. Dr. Edward Williams announced that Zucker would be up and around within a few weeks. i'Reel Five: The Sporting NewslThe New York Yankees again became masters of baseball when they trounced the Brooklyn Dodgers 4-0. This was the seventh game of the current World Series. Much credit may be given to pitcher Sandy Seltzer and his knock-out ball. The knock-out ball, a combination of the curve, speed-ball, and screw-ball, so astounds the batter with its strange gyrations that he faints dead away. Reel six: The laugh of the week! Bank president Allan Horwitz proclaimed Tuesday evening movie night for his institution. Then l heard a distant click and my mother murmuring softly, i'He must have fallen asleep with the radio on. WALTER WAGER ff YWENTY SEVEN