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Page 144 text:
3okes Miss H. Johnson (in Psychology class): “Is winking always caused by an outside stimulus ? " Mr. Parker: " Hm-m-m. " Breitweiser (to new student): “Are you a Lyceum?’ New Student: “No, I’m a Freshman.’’ His Literary Production Miss Grass: “Did you ever go in for literature, Mr. Peterson?’’ Mr. Peterson: “Well — er — not exactly, but last month I wrote a short story and got five dollars for it.” Miss G.: “Really? What was it?” Peterson “Dear Father — I’m broke. Please send me a fiver.” Mr. Pearse (Teacher in High School): “What was the most important event in Jackson’s administration?” Pause in which the silence could be felt. Mr. Pearse (addressing a bright looking girl): “You may tell us, please.” Young Lady (much embarrassed): “Excuse me, I am not a member of the class. I am an observer. " Prof. Wooster, while showing lantern slides of the various birds, which were poorly colored, to the third grade pupils of the Public School, was interrupted in his explanation by a very observant little boy saying: “I say, Mr. Wooster, did the children of the Model School color those birds?” Prof. Wooster: “N — n — no.” Pupil: “Well, they sure look like it.” Mr. Harvey had a hundred envelopes to stamp and seal. Walter Ottken offered to do it. Walter: “I never wrote that many letters in all my life.” Mr. Harvey handed him the stamps. Walter: “Mr. Harvey, won’t I get awfully dry before I get them all licked?” New Student filling out entrance card question, “What is your father’s occupation?” Student’s answer: “Democrat.” Hard Up Esther F. : “He says that if I do not marry him, he won’t know what to do.” Faith G.: “Hasn’t he any trade or profession?” Miss Andreas (to Mr. J. Seuscr): “Young man, according to the Keller Law, the lights are put out at ten in this house. " John (moving toward Grace:): “That just suits me to a dot.” Mr. Obert: “Yes, I learned to play entirely by ear.” Freshman: “And have you never had t he ear ache?” Van Cleave (after D. S. Banquet): “I found a pin in your salad yesterday.” Miss Agnew: " That’s all right. It was only a part of the dressing.” If you don’t believe you make mistakes, look at the eraser on your pencil. “Miss Copeland,” called Miss Andreas from the head of the stairs at 11:15 p. m. “Doesn’t that young man know how to say goodnight ?’’ Grace: “Does he? Well I should say he docs!” Rural School Teacher: “Name and locate four penal institutions in Kansas.” Pupil: “Fort Hays Kansas Normal School, Hutchinson Reformatory, and State Peni- tentiary at Lansing.” 144
Page 143 text:
Page 145 text:
Want (Tolumn Ttaybe WANTED: A date with all the New Girls — Ralph Archer. All old notebooks containing “Lectures on the Four Categories of Rhetoric and on Journalism. " — English Classes. Typewritten copies of the “Keller Law for new students. — Miss Keller. Old hoes, rakes and spades. — Truckers’ Association. Something interesting enough to relieve the pressure in the spoon-holder. All old dates in and filled before April first. — Mayme Darkes. Letters like 1 used to get from Chicago. — Prof. Harvey. A new girl. — Steve. Class bells that will ring. — Faculty. Electric lights that will light up the Library. — All Industrious Students. A position on the Staff. — Elsie G. All Old Notebooks on College Chcm. — Chem. Class. A recipe: How to become more popular. — Ralph Archer. Mayme Darkes will tell the truth. Miss Roper should teach social dancing. Grace and Seuser will have a fuss. “The Reveille” will please everybody. Judith will learn to sing. The Normal boys have trouble finding dates. Prof. Harvey will have his picture taken for “The Reveille. " Jean will have her lesson. Hannah Johnson will be on time for Orchestra. The Seniors will get jobs. Elsie Grass will stop talking in the hall. Esther Baldwin will tire of perpetual vivacity. Prof. Wood will find the place before the finale of the entra acte. Dec Lambert is underfed. Burns and Miss Miller have a case. Mr. Hull will turn the electric current on after 3:10. Prof. Parker means what he says. Bates eats too much. Johnnie will grow. “Jimmie” Bear’s hair will get dark. Esther and Gottschall will be firemen. Miss Hamilton misses Start. Miss Keller will smile. We arc mistaken. “Nuff scd.” 145
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