Falls City High School - Orange and Black Yearbook (Falls City, NE)

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SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY It was the year 1984, and the life of a patent attorney was a dull and lonely one, as I was finding out. I was sitting in my office in Chicago waiting patiently for the next inventor to enter and declare his invention was the greatest ever invented, when the door opened and in walked a little man. He stratled me with plans to build a gigantic 3-in-l combination wheat combine, corn harvester and hay baler. I thought the man looked familiar, and upon questioning him, he turned out to be Duane Witt. As much as I knew this invention would benefit man tremendously, I could not patent his machine. I just did not have the heart to tell him no one planted wheat, corn and milo in the same field. The next inventor was no other than an old classmate of mine, Harvey Koenig, who had invented a marvelous machine with a unique set of earphones on it. By placing the earphones on your head you could concentrate and find out most anything you wanted to know. I thought since two of my classmates had already visited me, I would use Harvey's machine to discover what the rest of my friends were doing. With Harvey's permission I placed the earphones on my head and started concentrating like mad, after all what had I to lose? Bear with me now as I share with you this fabulous experience. First to Colorado, in Denver Phil Marsh was on trial for fraud. Phil was selling a book entitled, How to Make Money, and every page contained the sentence, Go to Work in a Mint. In the Grand Canyon, I saw a group of men crawling from the mouth of a cave and they were yelling, It's the end of the World. Sure enough it was the Bernie Boys, Joe Gist, Mike Castle, John Martin, Jon Fisher and Joe Von Seggern. They were very angry because their old comrade. Merle Bachman, had married Trula Buckminster, one time queen of that forgotten kingdom—Falls City. Next to California, in Hollywood, Louis Hansen and Steve Di Lorenzo were doing Homer and Jethro Corn Flake commercials. Bill Nelson was the screen's most dashing Ben Casey since Vince Edwards and Neeld Messier had taken Mitch Miller's place in the Sing Along Show. The T.V. show with the highest rating was Father Knows Best with Keith Arnold as Jim Anderson, Carol Allen as Margaret, David Fritz as Bud, Cheryl Rogers portraying Kathy and Martha Runyan as Betty. Playing in Sacramento was the Ringling Bros., Bar-num and Baily Cricus. Headlining it were April Rogers, Donna Kirkendall and Beverly Duerfeldt, in a death defying trapeze act. Muriel Byrom and Sheryl Hooper also were incorporated with the circus, they sold peanuts. In Los Angeles, the most talked about Bunnies of the Playboy Club were Pam Hatfield, Janice Kelly, Marliss Cramer and Andrea Zentner. The United States language interpreter in Chinatown was Pegeen Swise-good. Doing a seafood commercial in San Francisco was Judy Heinzelman who said, Tell 'em Charlie sent you and Only the Best is Good Enough for Star-Kist. At the Winternationals Drags, Carol Malick had just won top stock eliminator with a customized white '50 Dodge. Sitting next to the pit was Bill Dyblie, who was painting Weirdos on the backs of sweatshirts. In Buffalo, New York, I found Terry Grush running for President on the Independent Socialist ticket. Stanley Linderman was his running mate. Stanley didn't care much about it, but Terry insisted that Stanley's adorable red hair and cute face were wonderful for publicity. In New York, I also found a familiar face on the cover of Mad Magazine, it was Fred Deckinger portraying Alfred Neuman. Wrestling in Times Square was Gentleman Jim Wochner, better known as moose, who had no tenderness at all and showed no mercy to his opponents. Also in this big city I found the star pitcher of New York Mets, Jim Cummings, where I noticed the Mets had just finished another spectacular season. I found Larry Longacre in the New York Y. M. C. A. Since Larry hated indoor sports such as billiards, he was an acclaimed volleyball player. In Omaha, I found Richard McCann had taken over C. M. Neuman's place as the President of American Community Stores Incorporated. Ronnie Stevens was the head of the Omaha Stockyards whose new slogan was, You Can't Beat Our Meat. Living in Omaha also was the World Champion Big Game Hunter, Dennis Koso. Dennis had just endured a safari into the jungles north of Rulo and had bagged four grizzly bears, six caribou, two African elephants and nine mud hens. Incredible!! Next to Pennsylvania, in Philadelphia Jane Tubach and Danna Karsten were playing tubas in the Philadelphia Philharmonic Orchestra. Playing in Pittsburgh were the famous folk singers Gary Taylor, Sam Grimes and Mary Marrs, known under their stage names collectively as Sam, Gary and Mary. Something pulled my mind to Moscow where I caught a glimpse of Patty Bindrum trying to convert the communists to Christianity. In Stockholm, Sweden, I caught sight of the world famous language expert Majorie Muller, who spoke fluently in Spanish, German, Bop and Pig Latin. She was awarding the Nobel Prize for the Abolition and Diminution of Standing Armies and the Formation and Increase of Peace Conferences,” to Barbara James, Kay Duey and Carol Zimmerman. When I tried to concentrate on Falls City, the machine trembled and nearly exploled. Something must be happening in Falls City I thought. And I was right. Homer Kirk had been impeached from office and Larry Gatz had replaced him. Larry, who loved to “get tough on lawbreakers, had just finished sentencing John Steinman to the Lincoln Penitentiary for ten years on six counts of polygamy. Katy Schweickert and Sally Roberts had finally gained control of the James Oil Company through a long-range plan originating way back in their high school days. Charlene German was married today for the fifth time. Gale Merz had become President of Studebaker Corp. and had combined 24

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Julie Hasty left after thoroughly confusing everyone in Falls City. Kay Hardt leaves enlightened from what she learned in Psychology class. Pamela Hatfield leaves her wild hair styles and loud, crazy clothes to Linda Egner. Judy Heinzelman leaves as fast as Denny's car will go . . . oops! she missed second gear again. Sheryl Hooper leaves one of her big brown eyes to Dick Gist. Barbara James leaves her orderly manner to Martha Mixed up Schweikert. Tom James leaves his title of Radio Repairman of the Year to Gary Handyman Dunn. Judy Jilek leaves to become the squaw of her Hiawatha Indian. Ronnie Johnson leaves rubbing two sticks together. Mary Karst leaves not bothering a soul. Dana Karsten leaves with a Ken-nedy ailment. Janice Kelly leaves, nothing like her sisters. Donna Kirkendall leaves, but she Stumbos out the door. Harvey Koenig leaves with two sweaters, a string tie and a pair of size 14 Hush Puppies. Dennis Koso leaves a Senior, but we kinda think Coach Graves wishes he was a sophomore. Claudia Kruetzer leaves for her same seat on the bus. Myra Krumme leaves to trade in her horse for a new red Convair Monza. Stanley Linderman leaves a name card for Keith, to avoid future confusion. Vickey Little leaves with a warped mind, after sitting in front of Phil in English class. Larry Longacre leaves a rich man, he sold every one of his freckles for a dime apiece. Carol Malick leaves to take her car to the Rod and Custom car show. Mary Marrs, left. Phil Marsh leaves behind a trail of faded sweatshirts, lean shorts, folk songs, skid marks, broken windows, firecrackers, toilet paper, cherry bombs, pears, parking-meters, and . . . Mary Jane. John Martin leaves with his latest Crunch” and hopes the Goose will make it to Grandma's. Richard McCann leaves for his executive position at Hinky-Dinky super market. Janice McNeely leaves in a GALE. Gale Merz leaves, a confused and mixed up kid. Neeld Maynard Messier leaves to start another Dobey Gillis show. Dennis Moore leaves as our class's tribute to Delwin Johnson. Mike Morgan leaves as the originator of a new fad for boys— pedal pushers. Marjorie Muller leaves her sister to wander around next year by herself. Bill Nelson leaves to drive in the next Indianapolis 500 race. Sharon Palmer leaves and we wonder what happens next. Jim Prater leaves busting his way through the crowd, so he can be first. Linda Posey leaves a book on how to keep boys wrapped around all ten fingers. Carol Ramsey leaves her bottle of peroxide to Mary Jane. Sally Roberts leaves with her title of Grease Monkey, and applies for a job at James. April Rogers leaves her quiet manner to Pam, which we hope she'll put to good use. Cheryl Rogers leaves to throw the shot put in the next Olympics. Gene Rowell leaves for the barber shop. Brenda Rowley leaves for the University of Salem. Martha Runyan leaves very quietly, one of the few in our class to do so. Linda Saal leaves with the third finger on her left hand sparkling. Douglas Sailors leaves in the hottest '57 Chevy in town. Katy Schweickert leaves to buy a fireman's net, to save wear and tear on William T's trellis. Sherry Smith leaves her latest book Twenty New and Different Hair Styles to Cindy Mock—please use them. John Steinmen leaves obviously tired of red heads. Ronnie Stevens leaves sliding on the heels of his shoes. Robert Stone leaves with his left-hand screw ball to become the understudy of Whitey Ford. Pegeen Swisegood leaves to wait for T. C.—and we don't mean Top Cat. Gary Taylor leaves to play Tarzan in the Barada Hills. Jane Tubach leaves a pair of scissors and a hair brush to her sister. Joe Von Seggern leaves for the Rivoli by way of his bedroom window. Janet Werner leaves riding in the front seat of a '57 gray Dodge. Eugene Whitney leaves with a car load of adolescent girls. Duane Witt leaves, but there's plenty more where he came from. Jim Wochner leaves to challenge Einstein's theory. Wilbur Yoesel leaves to try out for a part in a silent movie. Andrea Zentner leaves, thinking that freckles and red hair are a sign of rare beauty. Bob Zentner leaves his masculine ways to Steve “Goodie Holland. Carol Zimmerman leaves her average in English IV to some deserving senior next year. Jon Fisher leaves humbly to accept the Nobel Prize for Literature. Jon Fisher 23

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it and Merz Implement Company. Gale was now producing 400 horsepower fuel-injected combines. Janice McNeely was his head secretary. Linda Saal, Judy Jilek, and Peggy Buckminster were now the co-owners and co-operators of a string of Ice Cream Palaces. Kay Hardt was the captain of a regiment of K.T.N.C. Meter-maids, which included Linda Arnold, Kathryn Gruber, Brenda Rowley and Mary Karst. They specialized in walking along and putting pennies in expired meters directly under the nose of parking meter patrolman Bob Zentner, new assistant to Ivan Bieck. I also discovered that some of my classmates were businessmen in Falls City who were quite famous all over the world. Many persons from all walks of life had attended Gene Rowell's Institute of Intestinal Fortitude, where for $15 a week, Gene would build up one's courage and also throw in a few hair-raising tales of Gene's own experiences while in high school. Claudia Kreutzer and Mary Coonce owned the world renowned restaurant Laurel and Hardy's Place. While talking about famous places, it would be erroneous, indeed, to pass up Cheryl Enge's Twilite Club. Jim Prater had become a wealthy sign-maker specializing in signs for Falls City High School; some examples were: over the mirrors— “Don't Comb Hair, or on the lockers— Tuck In Shirts, and some on the walls which simply said, Go To The Office, You're Wanted For Something! Cheryl Brecht was selling wall-size maps from her map factory—each one scrutinizing Rulo, Nebr. Sterling Fritz was one of the best Marriage Counselors in the nation. He said he owed it all to romance problems some years back. Charlene Grush established Grush's Institute of Higher Learning here, and Shirley Ebel was a professor in Home Economics specializing in greaseless foods. The new Superintendent of Falls City Schools was Dennis Moore. Tom James has home after attending Harvard University for nineteen years in order to prepare for the really big colleges. One of the more notorious characters of Falls City was Mike Acey-Duecey Morgan, the undisputed Czar of the gambling syndicate who ran a major poker parlor” on Sunset Boulevard. On the outskirts of town was the Rolling Cockleburr Ranch owned by Doug Sailors and Wilbur Yoesel. Linda Posey had just acquired the Towle Estate after returning home from Atlantic City, New Jersey, as the new Mrs. America. Sherry Smith was a promising young politician whose thundering voice was compared to that of William Jennings Bryan. Cindy Glenn had become Falls City's wealthiest citizen after establishing a Night Club in a location unknown to squares. Her main entertainers were Julie Hasty and Carol Ramsey doing sound imitations of alley cats and Debbie Bacakos doing the pantomime. Myra Krumme was the world's greatest woman lumberjack and every year she rolls a log from Saskatchewan to her father's lumber company in Falls City. Robert Stone was residing in Happy Hollow, near White Cloud and was known as one of the world's last genuine hermits. Vicky Little had just returned from Washington where she had just failed to convince Congress to pass a bill outlawing backseats in new automobiles. Upon interpreting this, the machine broke down, but I was so determined to find out what else was happening back there that I closed my office and jumped on a train heading west towards Falls City. The name of the train was the Falls City Fireball and it was engineered by no other than Eugene Whitney, who engineered a train instead of driving a car because he didn't need to see where he was going. The conductor was Larry Brazau. The train stopped at Verdon, giving the excuse it was not safe to go further, because of a huge unknown mysterious meeting in Falls City. I hopped off the train and walked a couple of miles when suddenly three huge stables confronted me. The sign on one said Sharon Palmer's Riding Academy and after renting a horse to complete my journey, I neared the outskirts of my hometown. There I was met by Janet Werner, the President of the Falls City Chamber of Commerce. She informed me as we reached Main Street that the meeting was the Reunion of the Class of 65. Here I met all of my old school mates and I realized that even though we had separated into many various branches of life, we all felt the same about one thing—we are the Greatest Class that ever graduated from Falls City High School. Ronald Johnson 25