Falls City High School - Orange and Black Yearbook (Falls City, NE)

Page 28 text:

 Yes, the man answered. This is the year 1984. With the help of modern science, I have transported you twenty years from the day you wrote the prophecy for our high school annual. I've brought you from that day to help you write that prophecy. With my spirits high, I began a tour of Falls City of the year 1984 in a quest to find the truth about my classmates' futures. As Jim led me from the building through which I had entered 1984, I noticed the writing above the door of this huge skyscraper. It read, Union of Playboy Bunnies of America. When I questioned Jim on this matter, I learned that he was president of this fine union and that he was universally known as Jimmy Snowjob Schatz. We began to stroll through the streets of the town. One thing I found peculiar was a new automobile that was known as the Phantom Pipe. It was a product of the Cummins-Strasil Manufacturing Company. I learned that the car was David's creation and that the first model of this car had been supplied parts from a used English Ford which Ernie had acquired through a slick business deal many years before. Their head salesman and business manager was Ken Wamsley whose aggressive nature and personality made him invaluable to the firm. On down the street were some advertising posters. On one poster advertising Revlon nail polish, was Gloria Jilek. I was told that her business manager was Wayne Witt. On another poster was a picture of Matt Sikora, famed race car driver, throwing away a bottle of greasy kidstuff. Beside him, playing the part of hero worshiper, was Gwen Koester. Jim then led me to the public library where he had arranged for me to meet several more classmates. Upon my arrival there, I was greeted by Dan Lunsford and Denny Heinzelman. Dan is now a famous hair stylist who has brought in a new hair-do called the Pompadour. Denny is known as Denway Twitty, a famous singer who also writes an advice-to-the-lovelorn column for newspapers. A question had arisen in my mind as to why I had been brought to the library. This question was soon answered for me when a book on Who's Who in Falls City was placed before me. It seems that good old Falls City had grown so that books must be written to keep track of its famous people. I thumbed through the Who's Who. I found that many of my classmates had found prominent places in this new world. Bob Nelson was listed as a talented author. His best book was How to Succed by the Simple Application of Modest Charm. Nancy Armbruster was listed in the same category with her novel of What to Do In Your Spare Time. Marsha Cramer's book consisted of her interesting life story. Morris Grady, Roy Shaw, John Hundley, and James Richey were members of a terrific acrobatic team. Their specialty was a complicated pyramid with 'Big Mo’ on the bottom and tiny James Richey on top. Their big problem, however, was finding reinforced stages to perform upon. Ed Hunzeker was a famous evangelist who preached from coast to coast. Sheri Hundley was chosen Secretary of the Year. Kenny Taylor was a big grocery man. He could carry more sacks of groceries farther than anyone else in the world. John Ogle is loved by the world somewhat as Will Rogers was in his time and is quoted just as often. Everyone in the world of 1984 can be heard using such phrases as Hi-ya, Slick and You -----pig. Imagine that! Harry Yost, believe it or not, is the President of the United States. The First Lady of the Nation is Linda Horn. Dan Radley owns the Falls City Journal which is now almost as large a publication as the New York Times. Don Baxter is head of the National Beatle Fan Club for boys, and Lois Wenz is head of the fan club for girls. Jim Titus owns a fancy night club in Kansas. He built it where a place called Russ's used to be. I learned that there were sentimental reasons for this location. His head waiter was John Yost. The club featured entertainment furnished by four singing comediennes who had been my classmates—Celise Alton, Nancy Barker, Barbara Frost, and Eunice Michels. I kept turning the pages of this fabulous book and even more names swarmed familiarly before my eyes. John Schuetz is roaming the country playing polkas, fox-trots, and Virginia Reels. I guess John finally saw the light. Gayle Curtis, Donna Lee, and Lila Kuhlman profited so much from High School speech class that they now tour the country giving lectures to ladies clubs. Ed Scholl and Diana Rieschick have set a record for breaking up and then making up again. It seems that they are still going strong, too. Barbara Hunker has also set a record for almost getting married. When it comes to records, though, I read that David Gebhard, Dennis Platter, and Flame Watkins were all three racing to be the first person to drag main one million times. Flame had led this race for some time with a total of 940,653 times, but had fallen behind because of frequent interruptions by the Police Department who decided that she was an accident on wheels. Clint Smith decided that home is where the heart is and is one of the best teachers Falls City High has. Judy Windle runs the Pentagon indirectly.

Page 27 text:

to Phil Marsh—we'll straighten that boy out yet. Sandra Hurlbert leaves for the University of Nebraska—but why? Gloria Jilek leaves and sells her fingernails for plow shares. Paula Jones leaves quietly—something no one has done before. JoAnn Kerns leaves having had the privilege of lockering next to 148 for four years. Linda Kiekhaefer leaves to refuse. Lawrence Kirkendall leaves about 30 pounds of muscle to George Moore. Janet and Judith Klaus leave to argue the point. Gwendolyn Koester leaves her happy smile to Ray Schafer. Lila Kuhlman leaves to write about her exciting career at high school. Donna Lee leaves wondering how that phrase Blondes have more fun got started. Dan Lunsford leaves his pool cue to Bill Nelson. Katherine Marquis leaves a public address system to the school—she's getting tired of running around making announcements. James McNeely leaves having corrupted Phil. Judith Merz leaves after patiently hearing an awful lot of lousy jokes in government class. Eunice Michels leaves to join the John Birch Society. Robert Nelson leaves his inferiority complex to Tom James. John Ogle leaves his ability to rip those long jump shots to Fred Otto. Barbara Perkins leaves her nickname Crash” to Neeld Messier. Dennis Platter leaves for Hollywood to fill in for Robert Goulet. Daniel Radley leaves his job at the Falls City Journal to his brother Dave. Wanda Rhodd leaves for Ramsey's Cafe. James Richey leaves his meek personality and his quaint sense of humor to anyone who doesn't embarrass easily. Sharon Rieger leaves for the farm. Diana Rieschick leaves for the farm also, only she's with Eddie. Linda Rieschick leaves her many friends. Rita Ruegge leaves to join the Harlem Globetrotters. Donald Saal leaves the parking lot in a cloud of smoke. Garry Schacht leaves with the girl whose face launched a thousand ships. Ruth Schaible leaves to become a nurse. James Schatz leaves to see if Lover's Lane got paved and darkened. Edward Scholl leaves his car to Ed Schlereth. John Schuetz leaves an explanation for why he was late for American History all those mornings. Kathleen Schuler leaves to climb the ladder of success, but she'll have to jump to reach the first step. Roy Shaw leaves with his dream girl JoAnn. Matthew Sikora leaves his favorite number to Mike Morgan. Clint Smith leaves for Harvard. Gay Snethen leaves unscratched by the class will. Carol Sorensen leaves but she'll never be too far away from a teacher. Ruth Steinman leaves her shoe cleaner to her brother John. Janice Stevens leaves with Katherine Gruber in that hot car of hers. Lowell Stitzer leaves a dozen underclassmen without a ride home at noon. Ernest Strasil leaves and bumps his head in the doorway. Linda Strasil leaves to follow that boy. Jacquelyn Swegler leaves thirty points of her Latin average to Leon Arnold and still passes. Kenneth Taylor leaves for his career at Wegin's Market. James Titus leaves to drag Main for a few hours. Kenneth Wamsley leaves his nickname “Cousey to Clinton Schuler. Flame Watkins leaves her No-Doz tablets to next year's chemistry class. Jean Weinert leaves Jon and Linda to ride home with someone else. Lois Wenz leaves to steal Silver from the Lone Ranger. Sandra Wickham leaves her nickname Pixie to Dolly Jones. Judith Windle leaves trying to decide between James or a James. Wayne Witt leaves Gloria-sley. Joyce Yoesel leaves for South School hand in hand with Sharon Brazau. Harry Yost leaves his electric razor and a box of band-aids and has decided to grow a beard. John Yost leaves inspired by Mrs. Sylten's class. Virginia Young leaves to buy a pair of stilts. John Metzger leaves for Lincoln to serve 93 counts of libel at the Nebraska Penitentiary. SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY As I sat at my desk trying desperately to write a prophecy of the future, a weird noise filled my ears. The room around me dimmed and strange lights played across my face. The next thing I knew, I was sitting across a strange table from a man of approximately thirty-seven years of age. Almost in a panic, I jumped up and started to run, but the man grabbed my sleeve and smiled. There was something familiar about this man and I calmed down slightly. I looked at this familiar face carefully, and slowly it came to me. Jim? I asked. “Jim Schatz?

Page 29 text:

Paula Jones is among the nation's top scientists. A picture of Philip Bird Fine has replaced the bald-headed eagle on the U. S. Government Seal. Lawrence Kirkendall is spending a little time in jail for starting a riot when he learned that the city planned to install parking meters on Crook Street. In the field of advertising I found several of my classmates holding prominent positions. Jean Weinert is the new Betty Crocker. Ruth Schaible is a high fashion model for Vogue magazine. Sandra Wickham throws on some make-up and is known as Aunt Jemima—the first red headed Aunt Jemima in history. Janet Klaus says that Certs is a breath mint and Judy Klaus maintains that Certs is a candy mint. At this point I found that the book of Who's Who had run out of familiar names. I laid the book down and told my friends of my completion. Almost immediately a T V Guide was substituted for the other. On a late-late-early show I found that a movie was showing which contained some more classmates. Ruth Apel was starring in this movie entitled The Farmer's Daughter. It is the story of a sweet, unknowing country girl who falls in love with a city slicker type salesman played by Bob Grantham. She loses him, however, to a play-girl played by Glenda Clark. Ed Carlson stars as Tarzan in a new half hour series with Rita Ruegge as Jane. Jim McNeely and John Adams are the new stars of 'Car 54 Where Are You?’ Kathy Schuler married the T V celebrity Manners the Butler. Carol Sorensen is the new M. C. of the panel show To Tell the Truth. “Petti-coat Junction features Elaine Eby, Kathy Marquis, and Janice Stevens as the three girls. Jackie Swegler plays the part of Ma. JoAnn Kerns is known as Miss Frances on Ding Dong School every morning. Her good friend Sharon Brazau is the hostess of Romper Room. Garry Schacht and Helen Becker have a show entitled Ma and Pa Kettle. As I flicked over the last page of the T V Guide, a car squealed around the corner outside the library. Out the window I caught a glimpse of a brown 56 Oldsmobile peeling down the street. “Yes, said Jim, Don Saal's still around. Wanda Rhodd, the librarian, then informed us that we would have to leave because we were making too much noise. Jim and I bade farewell to my other friends and went out again onto the street. I noticed several new stores on Main Street with even more classmates as their proprietors. Barbara Perkins owned a shop specializing in seat belts for automobiles. Virginia Young operated a clothing shop for Tiny Tots Over 21. Ruth Steinman sold wigs. I couldn't help but wonder where she obtained materials for her products. Lowell Stitzer was manager of a shoe store for people with expensive tastes. Joyce Yoesel, Phyllis Craig, Marlene Carpenter, and Marilyn Hahn are partners in a vast department store. I noticed that all these stores were what you could call nice clean shops. Not only that but the streets of Falls City were immaculate. How did they do it? I wondered. There wasn't a speck of dust to be seen. I asked Jim about this and he pointed out a lone figure standing in the street beside a white sanitary cart. The man turned his back for an instant and I read the neat black lettering stenciled on his white jacket. John 'Smedley' Metzger, Champion Street Cleaner, it read. This really was amazing. Linda Buckminster's picture was on the front page of a newspaper I noticed in a street rack. Big, black letters pronounced her to be the Mother of The Year. On the same page of the paper was an announcement concerning the new officers of the local P.T.A. Linda Strasil was president and Sandy Hurlbert vice-president. This last article really did make me chuckle. The next meeting of the P.T.A. was to have guest speaker Linda Kiekhaefer talk on the value of a good memory. A 1964 Ford came chugging by with Just Married written all over it. Linda Rieschick had finally gotten married. Jim began to lead me back to the building from which we had emerged earlier. He explained that due to a technicality in time travel, I had to make my return trip within the next ten minutes. But Jim, I complained, there are still four members of the class of 1964 yet to be accounted for—Judy Merz, Sharon Rieger, Gay Snethen, and myself. I was told, as we walked, that the first three had combined efforts and started the Sunny Nebraska Winter Rest Home. Jim hustled me into the building and the room through which I had entered 1984. It is imperative, he said, that you leave 1984 immediately. But what of my future? asked I. Whatever became of me? Just before the time machine began to take effect I learned that I had never been seen or heard of after Senior Class Day of 1964. Why? I wondered. When I returned to 1964 and began to record my knowledge of the future, I suddenly knew why. Bill Beasing