Falls City High School - Orange and Black Yearbook (Falls City, NE)

Page 26 text:

My Trip to the Underworld I shall try to give you a brief account of my journey to the underworld, a region of darkness inhabited by the spirits of the dead, and governed by Pluto and Proserpina, his queen. I had always kept in close touch with Bob Greenwald, who is the messenger god of the underworld, concerning the number of souls from class of ’32 that he had conducted into the underworld. He informed me that I was the last one of my class left on earth and he offered to take me on a journey to this infernal region in order that I might again see all those familiar faces. I immediately went down to the Missouri Pacific station and bought a round trip ticket to the underworld. This cost me an enormous sum, I must admit. I traveled nine days and nine nights before I reached my destination. Here I was greeted by Mercury, the very same old Bob Greenwald that I had gone to school with in ’32. While we were waiting for a taxi, someone, decorated with horn rimmed glasses and brandishing a net, collided with me. She jumped to her feet and dashed off in pursuit of a butterfly. (Oh, yes, there are butterflies down there too). What hit me?” I finally managed to gasp. Anna Pool,” Bob replied. Bob told me that many souls had to wait a number of years, because of their misdeeds, before they could cross the river Styx; evidently Anna was one who had to wait. We stepped into the taxicab, and when the driver turned around and shouted Where to?” in a gruff voice, I recognized Adam Lippold, even though he had grown a heavy beard. It wasn’t long till we came to the bank of the river Styx. The grim old boatman, whom I immediately recognized as Ed Waller, ferried us across the river. Ed told me that he was in partnership with Wayne Allen, who also runs a ferry across the River of Woe. He soon reached the other bank. We walked through many long, dark tunnels till we came to a wide open gate. Here we stopped suddenly, for a three headed serpent-tailed dog growled and barked at us. We had a hard time getting past, but finally managed. I later found out that this same ferocious looking dog was Robert Johnson’s little pooch.” Robert and his dog were such good friends that Robert couldn’t bear to leave Mitzi” on earth so he took Mitzi” with him. Imagine Robert’s disappointment when he stepped into the underworld and read the sign No Dogs Allowed.” After much begging, Pluto consented to keep the dog in the underworld but only under certain conditions. That the dog must have three heads and a serpent tail, and that it’s duty was to guard the gate into the courtroom—So thus ends the story of the little dog Mitzi.” After entering through this gate, I found myself in a large courtroom where three souls were awaiting their judgment as to where their souls were to go, Elysian Fields or Tartarus. Pluto, Bud Maust, and his queen, Sara Hutchings, were seated on their throne. Rulers of the Underworld.” My but Bud did have a dignified look. Mercury left me here for just then the one o’clock whistle blew and he dared not be late for his job of conducting souls as this angered Pluto very much, and Bob feared he might lose his job. Page 22

Page 25 text:

Mary Kreiger leaves to Rose Matthews the privilege of escorting Raymond Hatfield up town. Everett Rieger wills his ability to make physics recitations to anyone who can make use of the same. Ruth Weaver leaves all of her extemporaneous English recitations to Miss Wakelin, to remember her by. Frederick Graham leaves to John Davis his inimitable ability to strut sitting down. Wayne Allen and Keith Crook leave their abilities to play football to Junior Ahern and Perry Heck. Lila Bonsall leaves her typing ability to Randall Brown. Helen Brooks leaves a book of her own writing on How to Dance” to Lucille Stump. George Clark leaves his resemblance to Rudy Vallee to Walter Seegar. R. B. Heck, Jr., leaves to Francis Wilson his marvelous capacity for whistling. Pauline Buthman leaves her knowledge of adagio dancing to Marjorie Mullin. Bud Maust wills to Delmar Lang his nose guard. Does he need it? Craig Greenwald leaves his waving ringlets to his little brother Joe. Catherine Grant and Robert Grant have only the honorable name of Grant to grant to any future Grants who are granted the privilege of entering Falls City High School. Mary Helen Goolsby leaves her habit of toe dancing home from school to Bernice Bletscher. Anna Pool and Anna Marie Wise leave their ushering positions to the Andrews twins. Edna Wittrock wills her scholastic ability to Verna Fiedler. Robert Wilson leaves his musical ability to his brother Francis. Edgar Waller leaves his position as manager of the football team to Louis Godirnon. Perry Castle leaves to Gene Bullock the privilege of taking Marjorie Schock riding. Mae Brooks wills to Alma Crook her ability to talk incessantly. Georgianna Brenner bequeaths to Mary Lou Falter her platinum blond locks. Lucille Daniels is leaving Everett Von Achen to the next good looking girl that wants a football hero of her own. Donna Jean Eubank wills to Alice Redwood her singing ability. Dorothea Femmer leaves her note writing ability to any under-classman who thinks he or she can use it safely. Geneva Gradcn wills her knowledge of Ancient History, World History, or whatever you choose to call it, to Howard Sailors. Jerald Hastie leaves his position as official woman hater to Kenneth Noe. Leland Peck leaves a book on How to Reduce” to John Davis. Herbert Tubach leaves to Chester Iwig the privilege of escorting post graduates home Edna Price leaves her Venus-like figure to Hazel Fisher. Kathleen Tefft leaves her brilliant and sparkling conversational ability to Lucille Kuker. This concludes the list of gifts, and we hope that the beneficiaries of the same will use them wisely, sparingly, and to the best advantage. Witness our hand and seal this 27th day of May, Nineteen Hundred and Thirty-two, A. D. The Senior Class of Falls City High School, of the Year 19J2. Seal. Page 21

Page 27 text:

I sat down in a chair in the back of the room and listened to the three cases. The three judges, who sat just to one side of the throng, all had familiar faces but I just couldn’t place them. Each wore, perched on the tip of his nose, a pair of specks—A flash dashed through my head—these familiar faces were the faces of Robert Grant, Richard Isham, and George Clark. To one side of them sat a most beautiful platinum blonde stenographer, Pauline Buthman. Judging from the actions of the three judges, they all had quite a case on her. The first soul brought before the king was that of Craig Greenwald. Oh! such a change; bald headed, knock kneed, and as thin as a toothpick. His sad and pitiful storv of how his wife treated him won the sympathy of Pluto, and Craig was sent rejoicing into the Elysian Fields. The next soul was none other than the meek and innocent soul of William Margrave, but lo and behold! another great change, a cork screw leg and only one eye. A gang leader of Chicago, known as One Eved Bill.” The judges, feeling somewhat partial to him, because of their friendship in high school, let him pass and enter the Elysian Fields, much to William’s surprise. The third case was the case of Herbert Tubach. He had filled all the requirements to enter the Home of the Blessed,” so he passed by with a saintly expression. After this third case, I made myself known to Pluto and his wife. They were delighted to see me and invited me to dine with them. I accepted and while we were chatting, I noticed a funny little dried up fellow, seated at the King’s feet, making funny faces for amusement. Yes, this little jester was none other than Buzz Culver. In danced six beautiful maidens, Edna Price, Marguerite Nichols, Hazel Ruch, Arlene Deaton, Helen Brooks, and Geneva Graden, entertaining us with a new dance just out, The Waddle.” Keith Crook and Evelyn Wiltse were the originators of this dance. Believe me, these dames were high steppers. The music was splendid; Castle’s seventy-nine piece brass band was a real knockout. After dinner I ascended to the 'Home of the Blessed.” While registering, some one came up and slapped me on the back. I wiped the ink from my eyes and when I had recovered my teeth, I found Ruth Weaver and Jean Young beaming at my side. I guess the blow must have been Ruth’s. I stopped and talked to them for a short time. They told me that Lucille Daniels and Dorothy Sandrock went to Mexico after leaving Falls City but spent most of their time in jail for giggling on Sundays, a violation of the Sky Blue Law” of Mexico. This shows how strictly the Mexicans observe the Sabbath. They also told me that Marie Clark and Jewell Hannaford went over the Niagara Falls in a rocking chair. Just something to entertain the public. They made this trip daily and had only broken two ribs and one of the ten commandments. I entered the Elysian Fields. Oh! such a place! I shall not go into detail describing it although it was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. Much to my surprise I ran into a group of some of my school chums. Each told me what they did on earth after leaving F. C. H. S. Pa e 23