Evander Childs High School - Oriole Yearbook (Bronx, NY)

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I Down, down - Colonel Leonard FeinsTein, The wealThy head-hunTer, who had noT aT been clever enough To replace his own wiTh one oT The many superior specimens i his collecTion, was showering wiTh aTTenTions The elusive and TascinaTing naTive irl of TimbucToo, Mah Ree Shan Ahan. I Down, down - Mary Baral. renowned CommunisT, who broke inTo prinT in The imulTuous year I943 wiTh her novel MaTchless Headlines! languished in The Gos- een Jail Tor advocaTing The reTurn by Mayor Gang of The Two hundred and TorTy- x odd million ThaT had been given To him as a giTT by The' Bronx SocieTy Tor The umb and DesTiTuTe. Gladys Maibaum should be here Too, ThoughT MilT. D Down, down - MilT saw wiTh ioy - Cecelia Anderson, The perTecT Anderson fpe oT beauTy, pracTicing Tor EThel Edison's new play, Survey oT The AcTiviTies of me Allied PrinTing Trades of New York CiTy , a drama of ba-rud-en-dud. Miss .nderson TiTTed beauTiTully inTo The parT oT The ianiTor's wife who swepT all behind her. we ianiTor's parT was being played by The aging characTer acTor, RoberT Smullyan. .mong oThers The casT included Jack Glass, The oily gangsTer hero: Arnold Gold- nger, The slipping lor sleepingll arTisT who was recenTly hung aT The MeTropoliTan: 1argareT Goldenberg. The iraTe moTher, and Helen GeTTen, The oTher iraTe moTher. mil Friendlander could be seen Tiddling on The TooTlighTs Tor lighT harmonies lan npression of his suppressed desire To play Nerol. From The piT DirecTor Seymans was iouTing Floods and curTainl CurTain, l say and sTop ThaT music! No resuIT. neaking up behind Eleanor GoldTarb, The organisT, Seymans muTTered menacingly. Will you sTop ThaT music! BuT iT's so lovely -- - --. MilT hurried onward a be spared an unhappy sighT. D Down, down - CharloTTe STurTz reTurned Trom a successTul Tour wiTh The SovieT mpire BaIIe+, was improvising, wiTh Harold Derfner, a new sTep To be called The urT2 sTep. IT combined your-rhyThmic movemenTs of arms and legs wiTh a crescendo JunTerpoinT by ears, eyes. and fingernails. The producT, when viewed Through half osed eyes, resembled somewhaT The gyraTions oT a kiTTen in salT waTer. ChieT 'nong Those who viewed-wiTh-alarm was Miss HarrieT Seliger who was murmuring neTully, All righT elsewhere buT noT here. I Down, down - Dearie mel sighed liT+Ie MilTie. High on a modernisTic plaT- Jrm, designed and execuTed lyou said iTl by HenrieTTe Berg, was The Rev. BaxTer 1aTerson, Jr., swaThed in chromium robes. Grown plump and comTorTable, despiTe 's re-puTaTion Tor asceTicism, he was gleefully 'haranguing his congregaTion. Prom- ienT among whom were Douglas, The lumbering log-rolling senaTor: Roger Winslow, ise-cracking inTiniTive-spliTTer: Leonard MillsTein, graTTer in The Cheese Dream di- 'sion of The NaTional BiscuiT Company: Smoky Jack Donohue, Big Chief Tor The line RackeT Union No. 400, 950: Hilda WeinTraub, reTired hoT-cha girl: CharloTTe ially, painTer oT blind-pigs: Eric GusTavson, singer of old Irish ballads: Edward HoyT, iddish impersonaTor: Maggie Kelly, socieTy TavoriTe: and Hilda Kupferman, Magis- 'aTe oT The Family CourT. Reverend CaTerson had sTolen his TexT Trom The Monroe 'ocTrine and The Versailles TreaTy. He had reached his climax, when MargareT owers. TighT rope walker, moved by his eloquence, losT her balance and Tell inTo The iidsT of The enrapTured Throng. , I Down, down - Ah. This is much beTTer, he exclaimed, apprised by The up-and- :ming newsboy, Andre Tweed, of The annihilaTion by The S.P.l.R.N. oT The Too enTer- rising RoberT NasTre. This SocieTy Tor The ProTecTion oT lnnocenTs from The RoberT lasTres, had been exTending iTs acTiviTies wiTh graTiTying resulTs. The oTTicers were: res.-Hyde, reTired boogey man. Vice-Pres.-Rosoisky, losT soul noT Tound. ec.-June STeinhard, Toe oT lady-killers. Trees.-OliveTTe Blumler, nice child. age Ten

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page nine DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE O If was a very firesome sorf of exisfence, fhoughf Mr. Teifelbaum, when fhe presi- denf of fhe Wide World Sfreef Cleaning Company was reduced fo a salary of minus fen cenls per week and had fo gef ouf wifh a broom himself fo make up The deficif befween fhaf and zero. Sweeping a parficularly affracfive young blonde clean off her feef, he fripped over a shave lfhaf he had neglecfed fo fake fhaf morningi, and fell. The ground seemed an awfully long disfance below. ln facf, fhe ground wasn'f anywhere lo be seen. He iusf kepf on falling la 'rypical Teifelbaum failingl. lf can'l' be one of fhose new Unferweiser manholes because fhey have weak fea and soda crackers a+ fhe boflom fo refresh people, he reflecfed, buf 'lhis one hasn'f any bo'r'rom. Professor Gronim lalso fallingl was absorbed in some plans for his lafesf Time-saving device-a machine for fhe execufion of condemned criminals. If worked on fhe meaf-grinder principle and was parficularly adaipfable for use in fhe home and insfifufions of learning. As he descended, Milf noliced fhaf fhe walls, which unfil now had been covered wilh prosperify posfers and bean soup labels lobviously an innovafion of lvlafhilda Riawsky and Nina Weinsfein, whose originalify in mural arf had caused such a furor in cerfain circlesl were changing in aspecl' and were forming 'rhemselves info shelves. Concenfrafing his affenfion la very difficulf operafionl upon fhe big pink shelf, Milf ,observed Mr. Joe D'Angelo in his pink fighfs, acfing as valef ro fhe Pink King Schniff lof lhe Weiner Schniffsl, who had risen fo fowering land, frufh fo fell, rarher dizzyl heighfs, over fhe dead bodies of his fellow rackefeers, Joe Fleur cle Lis Seigmann, Merrill Bean Soup Friedlander, Arnold Lollypop Sfanley, Leonard Shrimp lvlaidman, and fhe diminufive Benny Sfark. All fhese had he van- quished wifh his liffle pafenfed Kufchy nose-fweaker. This, fhoughf Milf, is a very unusual person for his size. Bul', he reflecfed, if is also a very unusual size. C Down, down - He approached a fheafer, whose seafs were quife vacanf lfhey confained Marie Cassard - housewife, David Sharenow -- Salvafion Army Band member, and Theodore Slavin - vicfim of demenfia praecox. Upon a soapbox, im- pressively placed in fhe cenfer of fhe sfage, was Mr. Margaref Sanger Schoenfeld beafing his drum and fhe air, wifh whaf he fondly imagined fo be fhe single fax. Milf decided fo move a liflle fasfer, buf was fhwarled when he found himself asfride fhe fail of an elaborafe airplane of fhe Unrafh l94O sfyle, wifh Thing-gummies af 'lhe end of each wing for sighf-seeing parfies. Surprised fo find no passengers, he poked his head in one of fhe - well, whal would he poke his head info? - and found a baffle royal befween pilof Al Loffman and peanuf Miriam Balf. lf appeared however fhaf Miriam's smile was succeeding in pacifying Al, who was nafurally very much annoyed fo discover her as a sfowaway on his cenfro-globular non-sfop--New York 'ro Shanghai flighf. ln facf she was geffing on so famously fhaf Milf discreefly diverfed his gaze elsewhere. I Down, down - Professor Isaiah Finkelsfein, W.E.A.F., W.F.l.X., and honorary R.U.B.E., was announcing fo lhe waifing world lhis sisfer Jeanneffe, Alva Sachs, and Claire Benvenisfyl fhaf an examinafion of his prize specimens, Bernard Fife, Al Rofh la parficularly fine onel, and Charles Davidoff, had proved definifely fhal' insanify was due fo cracked nufs. This was a liffle foo involved for Milf, so he confinuecl down. 0 Down, down - Jerry Diamond, former heavy-weighf champion of The world, was all absorbed in wrifing a lefler fo fhe Times in which he complained aboul' fhe fwo foo-popular crooners, Arnaldo Schuberfe and Adrienne Liebgold, fhe red hof Alaskan blues singer, who, he said, had caused Charloffe Jacobs and Gladys Schneider lfhe occupanfs of fhe upsfairs aparfmenfl fo pour forfh fheir fender hearfs in such copious fears fhaf he believed fhe disinlegrafion of fhe ceiling fo be imminenf.

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page eleven Chief among fhe sociefy's plans was an elaborafe campaign fo seduce, wifh fhe invaluable aid of Jean Fisher lSecref Service Agenfl fhe celebrafed Lover Ginsberg who had caused such havoc in fhe lives of fond fafhers. This, fhoughf Milf proceeding, is a very fine insfifufion. More power fo you. Q Down, down-He shuddered in sympafhy af fhe sighl' of brawny Samuel Heine sfruggling fo bring fo shore Renee Karr and Bernice Hamburger. The unforfunafe young ladies had been neafly fipped overboard from fheir canoe by Alan Mafhewson in a spirif of perfecf good fun and comradeship. Waifing on shore fo affend fhem were Docfors Eleanor Lewis and Rufh Shuberf who were swapping nofes aboul' fheir mosf gruesome cases. Docfor Lewis led wifh a headache indulged in by Harold Miller, buf Docfor Shuberf fopped fhaf wifh a hsearfache by Jim Ryan. 0 Down, down - l wonder how much furfher l shall go, fhoughf Milf, l musf be near China by now, l haven'f sfarfed going up yef. This is gefling firesome and l'm sleepy, b'gosh. Buf his inferesf recuperafed when he discovered a roomful of beaufiful women and cockfail glasses walking around lfhe glasses foo-if was fhaf kind of cockfaill wifh noi apparenf aim in life buf fo walk. Nof a man in sighf. Paf Gliddon and Gerl' Goodman hailed him, Have you seen him? No, replied Milf, who? Where did he go? enfreafed Helen Wehrenberg and Ednamay Engelke. Who? whined Milf. Buf, said Fanny lsenberg and Rufh Gordon, you know where he is? I'm sure I never saw him, said Milf. This is very exasperafingq l'll fall down if you don'f fell me whaf you're falking abouf. Oh, pwecious, murmured Rufh Segal and Miriam Schwarfz in unison, Don'f fall down, iusf fell us where he is. Here l amlll piped up fhe high liffle voice of Larry Singer, emerging from under fhe fable, l iusf fhoughf l'd hide in fun. And he beamed af his splendid joke. O Oh, murmured Milf, slipping down wifh a ferrifying rush of air, fhis is foo much. Buf he gasped worse fhan ever on seeing fhe fwenfy year old presidenf of Universal Correspondence School, Joan Keller, sneaking along a wharf wifh whaf af firsf appeared fo be iusf an ordinary sailor buf upon second look proved fo be none ofher fhan Arnold Gisnef, famed for The ease wifh which he could wear sailor panfs and fhe amounfs of Vodka which he could consume. Judging by fhe rafio of fhe size of his feef fo fhe ground covered by fhem, he was nof in his soberesf mood. There's mufiny in fhe air, fhoughf Milf, and l don'f care for elopemenfs anyway. Q We were going fo say down, down, oul' of force of habif, buf if wasn'f down, down, if was iusf sfill. l-le found himself asfride - well, if looked and sounded very much like a genfly mooing cow, buf if had wings. Turning fhe head up, Jimmyl he exclaimed. Jimmy, nofhing, said fhe creafure, l AM THE ANGEL GABRIEL! l beg your pardon, said Milf, you are Jimmy Allan! l AM THE ANGEL GABRlELl! All righf, prove if. Whereupon if blew a mighfy blasf. The walls began fo crumble, fhe shelves fo cave in, and fhe whole mofley crew of losf souls was precipifafed down fhe hole. ln 'rhe middle of fhe earfh were posfed fhree messengers of fhe powers fhaf be, Alberf Danz, fo cafch fhe fumbling bruneffes, Anfhony De Luca, fo cafch fhe red heads and Arfhur Cohen, fo cafch fhe evergrowing mob of blondes. The ofher people? Well, we don'f know - we wenf where fhey fold us fo go.