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Page 13 text:
THE BOOSTER 11
We, the members of the June '20 class, realizing that we can show only in a
small measure, our appreciation for the lasting benefits derived from Manual,
sincerely hope that the existence of the high ideals and the wonderful work
of the s-chool, shall go on forever. So to our Alma Mater, we mournfully and
reluctantly make, publish, and declare, our last will and testament as follows:
1. We hereby direct that our beloved faculty resume the management of
the school's affairs, which have, for the past half-year been run successfully??
by our class.
2. We give and bequeath to Robert Uhl of the Jan. '21, class the exceptional
ability of Glenn Kingham who not only as president of our class and as a fiery
or-ator has gained world renown, but has also proved himself the champion
time-killer by his arguments in Miss Thale's Civics class.
3. We give Susie Harman's "Smile of Smiles," her sparkling eyes and
charming manners to-to-well now--it's rather diflicult to say who would
treasure them most, besides we shouldn't give away all we have, so let's don't,
and say we did, and keep her ourselves as long as we -can.
4. We hereby direct that the following books, written by the literary minds
of the class, be left to adorn some conspicuous shelf of our new library: "The
Supremacy of Women," by Olive Willwerthg "How to Become Handsome," by
Leslie DeMotteg "My Experience on the Stage," by -Anne Greenspan.
5. We give and bequeath to our delicately featured Carl Wundrum, the
"Pride of Manual," the height, width and thickness, of Karl Klaiber's prepon-
-6. We order and direct that a chiropodist's parlor be instituted in -connection
with our new 310,000 rest room, in order to care for George Hider's victims, a
number of which he makes at every dance down in the gym.
7. VV e bestow upon some innocent Freshman, Charles Millholland's ability
to select and direct comedies, so that others may yet enjoy his keen sense of
8. We hereby declare our appreciation to 'Mr. Sanders and Sergeant Schull,
who by their unexcelled diplomacy, successfully warded off a-n attempted
foreign invasion of this fair institution on that memorable day of April 9.
9. We give and bequeath to "Princess Pat," better known as Margaret
Patterson, a palatial home within the -city limits, thus enabling Robert Uhl,
and her other countless admirers to catch an owl and get home at a reasonable
hour of the morning.
10. We leave for consideration by our able Major James Sommer, a compila-
tion of colle-cted excuses, offered by "Greased Lightning" Cli.nt Vlfhitney, in his
many efforts to cut drill, and "get away with it."
11. We grant to Josephine Osborne the privilege of loving and supporting
"Poison Ivy" Stokesberry the rest of her days, of course we mean dramatically.
12. We order and dire-ct, that the agony, created by Snyder, Harris, Schultz
and Hyde be left to Mr. Sanders, hoping that he will dispose of it as quickly
13. We give and bequeath the sum of 31,000,000 from our overflowing
treasury to the government, in recompense for all dilapidated, worn out uni-
forms, soleless shoes, and broken arms.
14. We hereby direct that our conspicuous wall-flowers, John Vlfhitney,
Vernon Martin, Gerald McGee, and Will Depperman, shall be plucked tonight,
thus giving way to the January's, who think they will make aggreeable gym
15. We leave to Coach Morrison, a formidable group of athletes, who, with
the Harmie's and Wertz as a nucleus, should make a basketball team that
would add honor and fame to Manual in '21.
16. We leave to the future -classes our loyal and energetic sponsors, Miss
Knox, Miss Hill, and Miss Brady.
17. We extend our heartiest appreciation to the other faculty members for
their efforts to make the class history a successful one.
- 18. Lastly we appoint E. H. Kemper McComb, executor of this our last will
and testament. FRANK C. SMITH,
Page 12 text:
GK '54 QQ A s Q 5? A
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THE CLASS PROPHECY
I had retired on royalties from my latest patent, the
submarine balloon, and was hiking about the country for
diversion, when I saw a circus. Not having enough
money for the big show I went to a side-show, where I
met many of :my old friends and classmates. There was
George Herold, the fattest man in captivity. Next was
Pauline Wood, the living skeleton. Who should my eyes
next rest upon but Minnie Zitz Lesman, the bearded lady.
The next attraction was Jim Sommers, the strong man,
lifting heavyweights made of cardboard. Looking farther
I saw Abby 'Walters trying to tame a lion which proved
to be Glen Kinghafm.
Leaving the tent I walked about the ground and gave
a blind man a penny with a hole in lt. The blind man
looked at the penny through his smoky glasses and said,
"Hello, Al." I then recognized Ervin Snyder who told
me he would show me where I could find more of .my
friends. We went to a nearby hash house for dinner,
and were waited upon by Lorin Schulz, the head waiter.
Over in a corner of the room was Tony Mazza, vainly
trying to get on the outside of a couple of quarts of
spaghetti. After we had eaten our fill, we walked out in
the back yard, and whom should we see but Elizabeth
Alexander chopping wood without an axe. As we wan-
dered down the street, we passed the Salvation Army in
whose midst was Melvin Miller ragglng the chop sticks
on his drulm. Also, there was Susie Harmon, who had
changed her name to Susie Harmison, singing to her
Passing on we were not in the least surprised to see
Bill Gaddis come out of a window at a 'very great rate
of speed, followed by pans and dishes hurled with splendid
accuracy by Marion Ericksen 'who had promised Bill she
would obey. We then went to a theater where we saw a
play not unlike our class play. The hero was Frank
Smith, and the heroine was Ted Osborne.
After the show was over, we went for a walk. It was
not long before my eyes rested upon a sign which read,
"Professor George J. Hider, dancing lessons, the orid-
gonator of the 'Hider Hop' and the 'Kalamazoo Bounce.' "
Farther down the street we came to a free alr station
and were greeted by 'Will Depperman, the proprietor.
While we were engaged in conversation, a Ford limou-
sine drove up for air, and who should step out but Mr.
and Mrs. Barker, who were none other than our old
friends, Crawford Barker and Vera Maple.
Passing on, we stopped in a confectionery shop. Whom
should we see now but Juanita Kersey, smiling amid the
wares of the shop. Looking about the room 'we saw
George Zink, more handsome than ever, wiping the tables
of the ice cream parlor.
Walking out of the store, we literally collided with
somebody's family washing, under which we found Olive
Willwerth. Our attention was next directed to a pedes-
frian pushing a banana cart. who proved to be Leo
Kiley. After sampling his wares, our attention was
drawn to a pile of bundles, walking next to which was
Margaret Patterson carrying a big market basket. To
satisfy our curiosity, we investigated the bundles, only
to find Bob Uhl serving as a dray.
Looking up ln the air we saw Charles Mlllholland, who
had made a study of high art and was practicing his vo-
cation on the top of a ten-story building, adjoining which
was an "Old Maid's Home." Looking on the porch, we
were not surprised to see some of our old friends, Jessie
Fiybolt, Jessie Byers, Cozy Ward, Blanche Rodenbeck,
iContinued on Page 127
Page 14 text:
12 THE BOOSTER
Orville Speer is a woman hater, but
we notice that he just can't refrain
from talking to them.
George Washington washed this
country and Woodrow Wilson dried it.
T'was a summer's day in winter,
The snow was falling fast-
Vlfhile a barefoot boy with shoes on
Stood sitting in the grass.
I went to the movies tomorro.v,
Took a front seat in the back,
Fell from the pit to the gallery
And broke the front part of my back.
Transcribed by E. H.
If George Herold would drink a bot-
tle of red ink he would make a good
As an outfielder, Morgan Burke, is
a good fly-catcher.
Miss Helrning: "Who was Venus?"
Karl Bruns: "Goddess of Love."
Miss Helming: UNO."
James: "Well, anyway, Cupid did
all the dirty work."
We sincerely hope that Edna Gossett
and Franklin Thayer will have all
their pennies saved up in time for the
Wilbur Ditterick: "That president
held cabinet meetings in the kitchen."
Ray Partee: "O that was a kitchen
Miss Brady: "For Composition to-
morrow I want you to write a friendly
Loren Schultz: "To what degree of
intimacy is this letter supposed to be?"
Miss Brady: "Seniors will be child-
ish every now and then."
Ted Osborne and Frank Smith re-
quest that the last tive minutes of the
class play be rehearsed numerous
Margaret Bishop, one day While in
a preoc-cupied mood was asked by a
friend, "What kind of shoes are you
going to have for graduation?" "White
orgaindy ones," she replied.
Elsie Underwood in Literature VIII:
Breathes there a man-
Whose heart has ne'er within him
Mr. Money: Bismarck's policy was
an extremely bloody one, can any one
state it in just two or three words?
Marion Ericson: Nuxated Iron.
A chemist dropped a burning match
IN2 some TNT.
Poor man, there was but one thing
left AScRaP of BVD.
With the aid of his bald head and
heavy beard, Vernon Martin starred as
Abe Lincoln in the class play.
Heard during Senior Booster meet-
ing.-Al Noll, "Have you any athleti-c
pi-ctures for the Booster, Ross?
Bob Ross, "Yes I have one of Ted
IContinued from Page 101
Naolmi Newby, Mary Rucker, and Louise Schneider. To
our surprise, we saw a home for unmarried men across
the street, the members of which were Lauren Stokes-
berry, Graeme O'Daniel, Elmer Schakel, and Orville
Our eyes next rested on a lonely looking young damsel
walking down the street who proved to be Cathryn Mil-
ler. Upon seeing her, Snyder very emotionally exclaimed,
"My little long lost wife," and flew to her arms. At this
point the oracle ceased to move. The seance was over.
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