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Page 13 text:
THE BOOSTER 11 WILL We, the members of the June ' 20 class, realizing that we can show only in a small measure, our appreciation for the lasting benefits derived from Manual, sincerely hope that the existence of the high ideals and the wonderful work of the school, shall go on forever. So to our Alma Mater, we mournfully and reluctantly make, publish, and declare, our last will and testament as follows: 1. We hereby direct that our beloved faculty resume the management of the school ' s affairs, which have, for the past half-year been run successfully?? by our class. 2. We give and bequeath to Robert Uhl of the Jan. ' 21, class the exceptional ability of Glenn Kingham who not only as president of our class and as a fiery orator has gained world renown, but has also proved himself the champion time-killer by his arguments in Miss Thale ' s Civics class. 3. We give Susie Harman ' s " Smile of Smiles, " her sparkling eyes and charming manners to — to — well now — it ' s rather difficult to say who would treasure them most, besides we shouldn ' t give away all we have, so let ' s don ' t, and say we did, and keep her ourselves as long as we can. 4. We hereby direct that the following books-, written by the literary minds of the class, be left to adorn some conspicuous shelf of our new library: " The Supremacy of Women, " by Olive Willwerth; " How to Become Handsome, " by Leslie DeMotte; " My Experience on the Stage, " by Anne Greenspan. 5. We give and bequeath to our delicately featured Carl Wundrum, the " Pride of Manual, " the height, width and thickness, of Karl Klaiber ' s prepon- derous bulk. 6. We order and direct that a chiropodist ' s parlor be instituted in connection with our new $10,000 rest room, in order to care for George Hider ' s victims, a number of. which he makes at every dance down in the gym. 7. We bestow upon some innocent Freshman, Charles Millholland ' s ability to select and direct comedies, so that others may yet enjoy his keen sense of humor. 8. We hereby declare our appreciation to Mr. Sanders and Sergeant Schull, who by their unexcelled diplomacy, successfully warded off an attempted foreign invasion of this fair institution on that memorable day of April 9. 9. We give and bequeath to " Princess Pat, " better known as Margaret Patterson, a palatial home within the city limits, thus enabling Robert Uhl, and her other countless admirers to catch an owl and get home at a reasonable hour of the morning. 10. We leave for consideration by our able Major James Sommer, a compila- tion of collected excuses, offered by " Greased Lightning " Clint Whitney, in his many efforts to cut drill, and " get away with it. " 11. We grant to Josephine Osborne the privilege of loving and supporting " Poison Ivy " Stokesberry the rest of her days, of course we mean dramatically. 12. We order and direct, that the agony, created by Snyder, Harris, Schultz and Hyde be left to Mr. Sanders, hoping that he will dispose of it as quickly as possible. 13. We give and bequeath the sum of $1,000,000 from our overflowing treasury to the government, in recompense for all dilapidated, worn out uni- forms, soleless shoes, and broken arms. 14. We hereby direct that our conspicuous wall-flowers, John Whitney, Vernon Martin, Gerald McGee, and Will Depperman, shall be plucked tonight, thus giving way to the January ' s, who think they will make aggreeable gym decorations. 15. We leave to Coach Morrison, a formidable group of athletes, who, with the Harmie ' s and Wertz as a nucleus, should make a basketball team that would add honor and fame to Manual in ' 21. 16. We leave to the future classes our loyal and energetic sponsors, Miss Knox, Miss Hill, and Miss Brady. 17. We extend our heartiest appreciation to the other faculty members for their efforts to make the class history a successful one. 18. Lastly we appoint E. H. Kemper McComb, executor of this our last will and testament. FRANK C. SMITH, WILL-MAKER.
Page 12 text:
10 THE BOOSTER THE CLASS PROPHECY I had retired on royalties from my latest patent, the submarine balloon, and was hiking about the country for diversion, when I saw a circus. Not having enough money for the big show I went to a side-show, where I met many of my old friends and classmates. There was George Herold, the fattest man in captivity. Next was Pauline Wood, the living skeleton. Who should my eyes next rest upon but Minnie Zitz Lesman, the bearded lady. The next attraction was Jim Sommers, the strong man, lifting heavyweights made of cardboard. Looking farther I saw Abby Walters trying to tame a lion which proved to be Glen Kingham. Leaving the tent I walked about the ground and gave a blind man a penny with a hole in it. The blind man looked at the penny through his smoky glasses and said, " Hello, Al. " I then recognized Ervin Snyder who told me he would show me where I could find more of my friends. We went to a nearby hash house for dinner, and were waited upon by Lorin Schulz, the head waiter. Over in a corner of the room was Tony Mazza, vainly trying to get on the outside of a couple of quarts of spaghetti. After we had eaten our fill, we walked out in the back yard, and whom should we see but Elizabeth Alexander chopping wood without an axe. As we wan- dered down the street, we passed the Salvation Army in whose midst was Melvin Miller ragging the chop sticks on his drum. Also, there was Susie Harmon, who had changed her name to Susie Harmison, singing to her heart ' s content. Passing on we were not in the least surprised to see Bill Gaddis come out of a window at a very great rate of speed, followed by pans and dishes hurled with splendid accuracy by Marion Ericksen who had promised Bill she would obey. We then went to a theater where we saw a play not unlike our class play. The hero was Frank Smith, and the heroine was Ted Osborne. After the show was over, we went for a walk. It was not long before my eyes rested upon a sign which read, " Professor George J. Hider, dancing lessons, the orid- gonator of the ' Hider Hop ' and the ' Kalamazoo Bounce. ' " Farther down the street we came to a free air station and were greeted by Will Depperman, the proprietor. While we were engaged in conversation, a Ford limou- sine drove up for air, and who should step out but Mr. and Mrs. Barker, who were none other than our old friends, Crawford Barker and Vera Maple. Passing on, we stopped in a confectionery shop. Whom should we see now but Juanita Kersey, smiling amid the wares of the shop. Looking about the room we saw George Zink, more handsome than ever, wiping the tables of the ice cream parlor. Walking out of the store, we literally collided with somebody ' s family washing, under which we found Olive Willwerth. Our attention was next directed to a pedes- trian push ' ng a banana cart, who proved to be Leo Kiley. After sampling his wares, our attention was drawn to a pile of bundles, walking next to which was Margaret Patterson carrying a big market basket. To satisfy our curiosity, we investigated the bundles, only to find Bob Uhl serving as a dray. Looking up in the air we saw Charles Millholland, who had made a study of high art and was practicing his vo- cation on the top of a ten-story building, adjoining which was an " Old Maid ' s Home. " Looking on the porch, we were not surprised to see some of our old friends, Jessie Rybolt, Jessie Byers, Cozy Ward, Blanche Rodenbeck, (Continued on Page 12)
Page 14 text:
12 THE BOOSTER PHOOLISHNESS Orville Speer is a woman hater, but we notice that he just can ' t refrain from talking to them. George Washington washed this country and Woodrow Wilson dried it. T ' was a summer ' s day in winter, The snow was falling fast — While a barefoot boy with shoes on Stood sitting in the grass. I went to the movies tomorrow, Took a front seat in the back, Fell from the pit to the gallery And broke the front part of my back. Transcribed by E. H. Joke — George Hider. If George Herold would drink a bot- tle of red ink he would make a good thermometer. As an outfielder, Morgan Burke, a good fly-catcher. Miss Helming: " Who was Venus? " Karl Bruns: " Goddess of Love. " Miss Helming: " NO. " James: " Well, anyway, Cupid did all the dirty work. " We sincerely hope that Edna Gossett and Franklin Thayer will have all their pennies saved up in time for the trip. Wilbur Ditterick: " That president held cabinet meetings in the kitchen. " Ray Partee: " O that was a kitchen cabinet. " Miss Brady: " For Composition to- morrow I want you to write a friendly letter. " Loren Schultz: " To what degree of intimacy is this letter supposed to be? " Miss Brady: " Seniors will be child- ish every now and then. " Ted Osborne and Frank Smith re- quest that the last five minutes of the class play be rehearsed numerous times. Margaret Bishop, one day while in a preoccupied mood was asked by a friend, " What kind of shoes are you going to have for graduation? " " White organdy ones, " she replied. Elsie Underwood in Literature VIII: Breathes there a man — Whose heart has ne ' er within him turned (?). Mr. Money: Bismarck ' s policy was an extremely bloody one, can any one state it in just two or three words? Marion Ericson: Nuxated Iron. Chemical Action. A chemist dropped a burning match IN2 some TNT. Poor man, there was but one thing left AScRaP of BVD. With the aid of his bald head and heavy beard, Vernon Martin starred as Abe Lincoln in the class play. Raw. Heard during Senior Booster meet- ing. — Al Noll, " Have you any athletic pictures for the Booster, Ross? Bob Ross, " Yes I have one of Ted Osborne. " [Continued from Page 10] Naomi Newby, Mary Rucker, and Louise Schneider. To our surprise, we saw a home for unmarried men across the street, the members of which were Lauren Stokes- berry, Graeme O ' Daniel, Elmer Schakel, and Orville Speer. Our eyes next rested on a lonely looking young damsel walking down the street who proved to be Cathryn Mil- ler. Upon seeing her, Snyder very emotionally exclaimed, " My little long lost wife, " and flew to her arms. At this point the oracle ceased to move. The seance was over. —Alfred Noll.
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