El Paso High School - Spur Yearbook (El Paso, TX)

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3 25 Compliments Nandor Schwartz Newman Agency Galbraith-Foxworth Lumber Ce. D. C. Crowell at Ce. El Paso Optical Ce. J. C. Penney ce. A Friend Eeenefny Dry Goods ce. Amerienn Furniture ce. Emanuel Schwartz Very Tired It would be with you very much as it was with the Scotch congregation, when the minister boasted to his fellow clergyman, I preached to them two hours and twenty minutes. And the other minister said, Why, weren't you awfully tired? No he said but you ought to have seen the congregation. Money Wanted Brudren, said a darky minister down on a plantation, Brudreu, I'se got a five-dollar sermon, an' a two-dollar sermon, an' a one- dollar sermon an' I want dis here indelicate audience to take up a collection as to which one ob dem dey can afford to hear. Once W'as Enough Did you ever, said one preacher to an' other, stand at the door after your sermon, and listen to what people said about it as they passed out? Replied he: I did once ------ a pause and a sigh----- but I'll never do it again. Science Outdone Why does lightning never strike twice in the same place? the professor asked the new boj' in the class. Huh , said the new hay, it never needs to. Inconsiderate Parent A man who was sentenced to be hanged was visited by his wife who said: My dear, would you like the children to see you executed? No, replied he. 'I'hat's just like you, said the wife, you never wanted the children to have any enjoyment. Forlorn Did I tell you, said a mother, what a time I had with my little Joe? Nog what was it? Why, I was showing him a picture of the martyrs who were thrown to the lions, and was talking very solemnly to him, trying to make him feel what a terrible thing it was. 'Mal' said lie, all at once, 'oh, ma! just look at that poor little lion, way behind there, he won't get any!

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All Ready A speaker addressing a large assembly of Sunday-school children said, Now, my little boys and girls, I want you to be very still-so still that you can hear a pin drop. They were all silent for a moment, when one cried out at the top of her little voice, Let her drop! Not Irish A school-teacher asked a little girl who the first man was. She answered that she did not know. The question was put to the next, an Irish child, who answered loudly, Adam, sir, with apparent satisfaction. Law, said the first scholar, you needn't feel so grand about it: he wasn't an Irish- man. Football His Sister4 His nose seems broken. His Fiancee- And he's lost his front teeth. His Mother- But he didn't drop the ball. I would die for you, said the rich suitor. How soon? asked the practical girl. Free Thought, Tommy: 'tPop, what is a freethinker? Pop: A freethinker, my son, is any man who isn't married. I am going to start a garden, announced Mr. Subbubs. A few months from now l won't be kicking about your prices. 'No, said the grocer: you'l1 be wonder- ing how I can afford to sell vegetables so cheap. Tim: Sarer Smith tyou know 'er-Bill's missusl, she throwed herself horf the end uv larst night. Poor Sarer! An' a cop fished 'er out again. Poor Bill! the wharf Tom: Tim: Tom: We clip the following for the benefit of those who doubt the power of the press: Owing to the over-crowded condition of our columns, a number of births and deaths are unavoidably postponed this week. Too Bad A good story is told of a Quaker volunteer in the Union army who was in a Virginia skirmish. Coming into pretty close quarters with a Confederate, he remarked: Friend, l l 'tis very unfortunate, but thee stand just where I am going to shoot, and blazing away, down came his man. Small Fruits He walked up to a market-woman's stand and, pointing to some large watermelons, said: What, don't you raise any bigger apples than these in America? App1es! said the woman, disdalnfullyp anybody might know you was an Englishman. Them's huckleberriesf' An Accident Why, Johnny, you've got a. lump on your head. Have you been fighting again? Fightin'? Not me! But somebody struck you? Nobody struck me. I wuzn't fightin' at It was an accident. 1. all. Accident ? is Yes, I was sitting on Tommy, and I forgot to hold his feet. The Great Difference A boy at school was asked this question in physics: What is the difference between lightning and electricity. And he answered: Well, you don't have to pay for lightning. Oh, Yeah! Jack and I have parted forever. Good gracious! What does that mean? Means that I'll get a five-pound box of candy in about an hour. A negro came running down the lane ai though the Old Boy were after him. 'tWhat are you running for, Mose? called the colonel from the barn. I ain't a-runnin' fo', shouted back Mose. I'se a-runnin' from! Discounts A train in Arizona was boarded by robbers, who went through the pockets of the luck- less passengers. One of them happened to be a traveling salesman from New York, who, when his turn came, fished out 8200, but rapidly took S4 from the pile and placed it in his vest pocket. What do you mean by that? asked the robber, as he toyed with his revolver. Hur- riedly came the answer: Mine frent, you surely vould not refuse me two per zent giscount on a strictly cash transaction like is.