Eastern Nazarene College - Nautilus Yearbook (Quincy, MA)

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Epoch Making Events in Science for those of you who don t know need we say more Q45 etlquette Basic Rules of Ettrquette for the ENC Cafe I Don t throw food fhardj 2 Don t throw food Iupj 3 Don t throw food lat Herseys You can 4 Don t throw Janelle 5 The followmg referencesfanalogtes should be avotded tn easily nauseated com PHILV The contents ofa tea bag s s1m1lar1 ttes to a dtsected worm or the mtes ttnes of anything Cooked tomatoes ltkened to snake hearts splattered on a rural hrgh way Apple jelly compared to that un1 denttftable congealed matter found m a can of Spam Vartous soups that suggest bobbmg for lettuce bobbmg for mzldew bobbmg for petroleum or bobbmg for eye of newt 6 lt s not enttrely unacceptable to ktss hold hands or otherwise display affectton during meals but to do so ts at the rtsk of destroymg the appetttes of those around you and wtll probably gam for you the undying hatred of everybody tn the world forever and ever Butgo ahead zfyou really want to 7 Procreatton m the cafe should be avoid executlve stuco This eight member counctl rs desrgned to represent the mterests of the student body They are especially good at debatmg rel evant Issues momtermg the means and ca pactty of soctal mtera ctton among thetr con strtuency creatmg a network of support from wtthm the counctl and actmg as a clear and artrcula te voice for the students to the administration and community And they like to get thetr picture taken 'You can tell just look around you It started m the begmmng ofthe year when those love ly portratts of them were hung IH the mam showcase Then they went 1nto the Campus Camera The student handbook was also graced wtth their ltkeness Nottcmga trend' Check your acttvttles calendar Breakmg new ground this year executive StuCo ga ve us a picture ofthemselves on the front page of our calendar a hrst tn ttme keepmg practices at Eastern Nazarene College Wzth the ard of modern technologv I have been able to record a meetmg of the executive council and reproduce rt exactly for your enjoyment The meetmg ts called to order Dana The hrs! order of business ts Brenda The gameroom Dan The hrs! order of business ts rec ltfe has a report to make tn this re gard m Brenda Jtm Dan Jtm What do you have for us' Jtm Well Dan I had this really neat pmball machme made for us The only problem I can foresee with lt ts that tt hasn t got a little slot to put tn the quarters so you can t actually get tt to work Chns Isn t that kmd of stup1d Jim Well yes and no First tt would allevt ate any extra demand on the change ma chme Joanna Great' I thmk we should really take thts opportumty to Paul Thats not fa1r' Joanna s always get tmg out of domg work for StuCo and I have to work 24 hours a day to make Nauttlus deadlmes plus the stuffl do for StuCo Joanna You try szttmg through one meetmg of the currtculum committee What Iget out ofm work IS made up for tn toleratmg bormg drones petty att: tudes That s why I handle you so well StuCo mmutes you wtll nottce that at our last meetmg we resolved to ban whmey and snttty behavior from our meetings And toy guns too Lmda Dan Yeah Jlm Anyway the pmball game ts called StuCo And even though tt doesn t actu ally do anythmg 1t comes wtth lots of pretty flashmg lrghts and a full color por trart of us on the top Chrts I lzke tt Paula It sounds really elegant ltjust mtght give the gameroom the class rt needs Brenda How much dtd rt cost? Jlm About stx thousand dollars Lmda What the heck we re ln thts deep Let s go for tt Dan Okay now we have to cover Brenda Lmda s report Lmda l ha ve researched the posstblltttes for Hnals week tension breakers very thor oughly My hndmgs mdtcate that l really dont feel like domg thts In addttton I have conferred with vartous tndtvtduals who said that they don t really care whether or not I arrange anything be cause they probably wouldn tgo anyway Paul Who dtd you confer with? Lmda Joanna Chris So you don t have any Ideas 7 Lmda Well I did thmk ofone I thought II might cheer up the whole atmosphere of hnals week to set up a booth tn the stu dent center where people could get their picture taken with StuCo Like the one wzth Ronald Reagan m Boston Common Chrts I like It Brenda Who s going to make the arrange ments? Lmda Arrangements really aren t my forte Paula l will I ll make the posters I ll have announcem nts IH the cafe I ll ha ve band members provtde muszc for lt I ll have music wrttten espeuallv for tt It ll be a really classy affair Brenda Nou that we ye taken care of that tssue I can tell you all the results of my suryey Is that alright Dan' Dan Sure Brenda Well after I tallted eyerythmg up I found that 857 ofthe student body feels that ue are in fact extraordinarily pho togenlc and the most all around adorable student council IH recent memory Paul Then lsuggest that we go ahead and have our likeness caryed tn stone out tn front of Gardner IPS Thanks Peg we loye you tool faces 0 QEQSQ ' - M ,I .' ts, I . . ' f 5 ' f , i . . . u . . . . O I , . , - , . . , . , . 9 . 1 get away with Janelle If H0 Ones Iookmgl Brenda: lf the two ofyou will refer to your , - . , . . , .. . . . ed. - ' I g 0 ' . . .' 'i Q ' Q . , ' I e . N y, Dictlona ry X 7 7

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dance Up in Heaven s happy portals Where the parties never stop All the debonair immortals Do a dance called the Heaven Hop ln this great Celestial Center lt s the only dance they do So before you try to enter You better start doing it too Cole Porter dlet soda Some of our favorite low drinks are Diet Coke Diet Pepsi Ta Sugar free Sprite Diet Slice Diet Ramblin Rootbeer Diet 7 Up calorie dorms a poem by Mary Heliotrope Wea therbea ter. Dorms are special. Dorms are nice. Some ha ve bunk-beds. Some have mice. Some ha ve cracks that Climb the walls. Some have poems on Bathroom stalls. Some ha ve three floors. Some ha ve four, I ha ve keys to Each one 's door. Some of us Return each night To sleep in dorms With halls too bright Some hang out the Whole day through In dorms quite often Like a zoo Dorms are nice u Dorms aren t fr Summer rent is Robbery Winter rent is better though lWe ve no other Place to go J Dorms ha ve roommates Dorms ha ve friends and Flights of stairs that Never end So to stay I ll Get a loan In some sick way Dorms are home TZ!! 26fDictionary don't Don't drink. Don 't smoke I t What do you do? Sudden innuendo follows Must be something inside . , . - Adam Ant Don't can be defined from many van-i tage points. Do not. Refrain From. You are forbidden . . . l' Certainly, it is a word we tend to run up against a lot. Briefly, I have compiled a list of some of our all- time favorite Don'ts : Don 't Dance. Don 't go to movies. Don 't park on campus. Don t skip chapel. Don t even TOUCH the Ere extinguishers Don tgo in the dorms occupied by the oppo site sex Don t throw water out of windows Don t wear shorts in the cafe Don t make noise after eleven P M Someday when we re older we ll look back on these restrictions and laugh And we will say Yes I think I ll send my kids to ENC the brats elsewhere Spring break is approaching You lie con templa tively on your bed and suddenly bolt upright with the horrifying realization that you ha vent been off campus since Febru ary You sit white knuckled on the edge of your bed sick of your roommate sick of your major sick of your radio station You try to study but you find yourself un consciously scribblmg things like GET ME OUTTA HERE' in the margins You throw on your jacket with increasing aware ness that you ve gone stir crazy Now you are a student in distress In an attempt to make a speedy exit you hnd it s already time to sign out I Time flies when you re having a crisis j Your name The time Destination An automatic re sponse OUT ELSEWHERE I guess its king of like Nirvana or an apathetic sort of Hea ven As you walk run drive flee from campus you Und your self with only one purpose Escape Thats the nice thing about Elsewhere you can 1 get lost looking for it And the minute you get out from the shadow of Gardners ivy covered walls you ve found it Suddenly you can breathe again Deadlines evaporate Its almost like real freedom almost

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falling Last year there was this guy who I noticed always seemed to be falling dow n. Lsually a flight of stairs. The longer ones -f like the ones by the cale. This guy was always on crutches. Even then they seemed to slip out from under him and chase him into a heap of firewood at the botom ofthe steps. A fter a while it got to be kind of a regular and expected event. Look. l'd say. He 's leav- ing the cate. again. Let 's go stand by the rail and see if he -- Then there would be a brief interruption with the clattering of crutches and the thud ofappendages out of control, as he once again verihed the inllu- ence of gravity on our world. Eventually. he grew to become a sort of symbol to me. The embodiment of ENC life When you stop to think about it, every- body's always falling. lt happens to us in different ways and with varying degrees of severity from start to finish. Freshmen seem to tall in love and out again with the regularity and necessity of breathing itself A nd sophomores historically fall for the no- tion that the preceding summer has some- how given them scads of maturity beyond the grasp of freshmen. The juniors - well, if their grades or enthusiasm havent fallen tjust a littlel by now, surely some of their hair must be falling out. Doubtlessly. seniors are the great author- ity on falling. By now some have fallen away from previously held ideologies. All have fallen for more than a couple ofgood lines. Many ha ve fallen out of the good graces of whomever's good graces they once thought it important to climb into. And those who havent fallen into the trap of Senioritis tall even deeper into the 5th year snydrome . So what merit do we achieve by mastering all this spiralling endlessly downward? At the end of it all. we fall into line to receive degrees earned with well-bruised knees. lf we 're lucky. we won t fall down the stairs as we descend the graduation platform. C f amll ENC's most famous families: the Blaneys the Manns the Corbins the Neases the Cubies the Nichols' the Frames the Nielsons the Grifhns the Schuberts the Halls the Yerxas XY' 'cdr -,-,,..- fifteen dollars If everybody here just gave Hfteen dol- lars . . . - Chuck Milhuff If everybody here just gave Hfteen dol- lars: - we could put air conditioning in the Quincy Crisis Center. - we could put air conditioning in Spange. - I could get you about 3 pizzas apiece. e we could buy enough poison to kill every squirrel in Massachusetts. f we could all go out for Chinese. e we'd have the tinances to form a union. W I could be on my way to becoming a very rich woman. e we could buy a car. - I could duplicate about half the wardrobe of third Spange. - we could move into a nice little apartment off campus. - I could move into a really nice apartment off campus. e the Nautilus staffcould have a ban- quet. finals Santa Visits ENC for Finals For many years now. Americans have had a stereotype of what Santa Claus is really like. Santa has always been thought of as easygoing. wholesome, and an old-fashioned kind of guy. He was always that certain figure in today 's society that hadnt changed . . . and never would. Well. in an interview with him on the night of December 12, 1984, I didnt find him at the North Pole, building Tonka trucks or baking Christmas cookies. I didn t Hnd him brushing up the reindeer on their trip across the sky. He wasnt even sitting it front of his warm. cozy fireplace drinking hot chocolate. Instead l found him in the student center gameroom of ENC. Hard t believe? Well, the shock of discovering St. Nick playing the Track and Field videc game with Pebbles was not halfso drastic a: chatting with him to Hnd out what Santa Claus is really like . . . Mr. Claus leads a normal life in many aspects. He and Mrs. Claus have three chil- dren of their own - two boys and a girl With names such as Barry Claus, Sandra Claus. and Farouque Claus. there is littlc wonder as to whom these children belong. Incidentally, Santa says that Farouquc Claus was adopted from another country due to certain circumstances with his triba. leader. Despite his children and the nature of his occupation, he maintains that his devotion toward the children of the world is just a front he uses to hold up his reputation as a good guy. When asked why he bothers to go through all this, he simply explains: E very- one has to do something. Sainthood is a wide open Held. Ifhe was to ha ve it his own way, he would be giving out gifts to twenty- four year old, shapely women. Upon inquiry regarding his youthful looks - Santa bears a remarkable resemblence to ENC student. Scott Wiens - and attributes the quality of his lovely complexion to Ponds's Cold Cream and a little Oil of Olay now and then . . . He also keeps his youthfulness by relaxing at his condo in Southern California. Santa says that we shouldnt be worried during this Hnals week, adding that he doesnt let the pressures of Hnals get to him either, due to the fact that he only has one - and that's in Intro. to Underwater Bas- ket- wea ving. When it comes to the world around us, Santa has no worries. Inflation hasnt af fected him. and the fact that his elves are all on strike doesnt bother him in the least. He plans to hire the former Iranian hostages as toy-makers so that they can use their work as occupational therapy to overcome the trauma they obtained during their captivity. The food they had to eat over there, he points out, was disgusting. Something like that can really screw you up. Santa has no relationship with Iran. He claims there is an Iranian Cla us who takes care of the children in that country. Santa has a lot on his mind this Holiday Season: They've cancelled production of the Gumby doll this year, and there are literally thousands of homeless Smurfs out there that nobody wants. Even so, he want- ed to send out a Christmas message to a very special child on his list. Merry Christmas to little Kevin Laudermilk, and I hope you get what you want for Christmas - not matter how young she is. ' fines Chapel Hnes, late Hnes, disciplinary Hnes. You name it, theres a Hne for it. If you throw a snowball, you pay. Ifyou throw a napkin, you pay. If you throw a grain of salt, you pay. Sure, Hnes seem unfair to us. We 're on the paying end. But Hnes are an effective way of ensuring that rules will be obeyed. Who wants to shell out twenty-Hve bucks to the administration when she could 've spent it on a deep dish pizza at Unos or a Forenza sweater? Fines keep us from missing more than seven, okay ten. chapels. They counter- act food hghts l IU and, thank goodness, they protect freshmen from merciless midnight 78y Die tionary I. 4. My H 'r 4,i I .31 lt I