Eastern Nazarene College - Nautilus Yearbook (Quincy, MA)

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ry rats, but rather letting them loose to roam freely in the walls and ceilings of Spange. We are currently checking with Guinness, as we ha ve reason to believe that this quali- fies us for a record in owning the world 's largest Habitrail cage. C 0s 0' i 5 .nail 'lf if 8' apath I looked again into the face of apathy today In armored attitude I asked if I might voice my say It wouldn t listen as I preached my words in printed gray I stuffed my sermons in my coat and turned and walked away belch Recently. someone reprimanded me for belching aloud. I will not say' who this was, but it definitely was not my roommate. Whats the matter -with belching out loud eveny' once in a while? Everyone belches.' People have to belch. If people did not belch, they would explode when they had gas, or the gas would find another orafice to escape through. Belching saves us the trou- ble of enduring the other possibilities for expulsion of gas. We're talking biological facts here. Do you know what happens to a seagull if you feed it an Alka-Seltzer? It blows up. It blows up because it can't belch. How would you like to see someone blow up every time an Alka-Seltzer was swal- lowed? Not a pretty thought. is it? What do you think would happen to the Alka-Seltzer industry if a few people exploded in a greasy little restaurant somewhereq Utter chaos Think of all the thousands of little towns in Pennsylvania who s economy depends on the manufacture and distribution of these fizzy little wonders Thousands of unem ployed Pennsylyantans with payments to they have a role of those dead give-a way mints in every garment they own. Good try though. This type of thing is bound to come out sooner or later. lf people with halitosis would finish one role of mints before they start another, no one would ever know. lfl ran a breath mint company. I would do away with that stupid little blue center. I t tastes just like the rest of the mint anyway. If they would make the mints a little more sta ble. they could get a strong following by the halitosis crowd. The halitosis crowd should definitely' be target market. But then again, if I ran a breath mint company, I would have lots of money, so people wouldn 't say' anything if I belched out loud. I would probably have a reserved parking spot too. Walt Pollard for CAMPUS CAMERA blood 3 13.3 make on their big pick up trucks Whole towns will dry up in a matter of weeks Where do you think these people s children will end up In college no doubt In college with big pick up trucks that will end up in my fa vortte parking spot We just don tha ve room for all those trucks The only people who shouldn t be allowed to belch are those who ha ve chronic halito sis Forgive me I know it sgenettc and ever ythtng but belching and halitosis are just too much when they double up on you Un less of course the halitosis victim has the presence of mind to carry breath mints Brea th mints are great for oeople who ha ve halitosis Great that is unless they buy the ones thatlook like white Life Savers with the center filled tn with blue stuff These are not good because they get fiaky after they ve been tn your pocket for a while I think they oxtdtze Anyhow you know right away that someone has halitosis if they give you a mint that is fiaky It is fiaky because breakfast There are about six people who rise each morning and go to breakfast for what ever reason nutrition study time caf fetne Breakfast ts different The rules are different Its no social blunder to sit on the OTHER SIDE of the salad bar It is in fact not ey en some kind offa ux pas to sit all by oneself As for myself when I go to breakfast I don t want to talk to you Idon t want you to yell a cheerful hello from the fruit bowls I do not want to know that you exist I want to Slt quietly and alone by a window and glare contemplatively oyer my teacup out at the pervading daytime Its really a pleasant yiew from the cafe in the morning The sun s rays creep slowly across the aesthetic nightmare of Spange Willy s architecture And the squirrels find a sprttely perch on the branches of nearby . v . , . V . . -r ' - y v 1 ' y' y , . ,, 4 6 O -,..--. V I 1' 9 1' -, be f.. Q , h ' ' 9 ' ' cf ' , 'Q 1 ,. f, 1 I .j,,g t ..-- J - -'vjl' V, f -.5 Y . .-fit. '12 lil . - ' Y.' U - . ,- ' .X a ..f f - yi . - W., A . fi . , . ,- ,. 1 ' I IAQ L4 . N V V. V . 3 , r 1 . . . , . . r , , , . V. . . V. , . ' - Q I I I - , . , . . - 1 V . . A. , . I - - . , ' 1 -1 ' I y , . V. O . , . , . . . . . . . y , . . . 1 9 .1 ' 1 . H . A - ' ' V -4 f . U . H . ,, v. . Y , I - 4 T. ' . I r . ' 1 ' , . , . , , 1 1 ' , , . . . . X, . . , , . V . . I J F . . . - - y . . . V . ,. I, . . 'I . 4 . . . y v f v , 4' 1 -f Dictionary U ,.

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chow And we tan be heroes .lust for one das Dastd Bowte Oh sweet mssters ot ltle At last lse found sou Jeanette NItDonald 'No one knows for sure whs or how tt all gan It was a untque phenomenon that now balled oser four sears The eondtttons sere rtght The ttmtnv was rtvht And Chow merged front the masses as a ltstnv breath g tcon to freshman fttrls A leader oftotks 1 freshmen fantass a Basketball Hero No htstors of our eolleve sears would be tecuratels completed wtthout an acknowl dgement of the Chow Ssndrome Vans hase had thetr theortes Some hase rante of contemplatton lThose were the reshman gtrls I But no one could dens that titer four sears of watthtnv sarstts basket Jall there was a eertatn amount of reltet tn snowtnff that Chow had the ball and esen tmtd plasers of octastonalls comparable yualtts sou just knew that sou weren t 'bout to see somethtnv tncredtbls stuptd tappen Was be that ktnd ot eonsolatton Is qualttt atton for herotsm Regardless heroes wtll ome and go But there wtll neser be ar' mther Chow Namesltke Chow just dont tappen twtee al cinder-block l had a dream the other ntght I dreamed was sleeptng tn a hallwas tn Spange hud 'led on the ttle floor so that one stde of ms ace sort of clung to the surface I felt ms -and brush agatnst the rough etnder block wall and shuddered wtth the realtzatton that was encased tn stone Then I heard a fatnt straptnv sound Nloments ol stlen-.e p1ssed as ms sktn Drew told and eltmms Just as I peeled the rtvht stde of ms late ott ot the floor to lease thts eerte mausoleum the hall beeame ttlled wtth the sound ol shttttnv un der blotk lt was that unmtstakable notse the one sou hear on Stoobs Doo when eser thes open a setret passave was tn a psramtd or ease or somethtnv The wall were altse l was frozen wtth terror And thep 'lms ot ms hands were ktnd ot stutk to the floor too Eath ttnder blotk h d taken on tts own btt ot tonsttousness and somehow tn thetr ehtlltnv motton seemed to express esers th tnv estl one mtffht suspett from ttnder blotk You ll neser be able to hanv a ptt ture exattls where sou w 1nt tt on a ttnder blotk wall thes emoted lt takes mush more patnt to Loser a ttnder bloek room en wtth a tolletttse tts stare t ese rot s eonsesed wtth sh tttertn-1 tlartts tust how well a ttnder blotk wall eals tn the wtnter ttme told lt was at thts potnt that thes bevan to edve toward me seraptnv methodttal's lowls seratthtnv the told ttle tloor COTE Bob wanted to be eomputer mator He was hesttant to vo to ENC betause he knew tt would mean taktnv a lot ot glasses he wasn t neeessartls tnterested tn Alter 1ll thouffht Bob l want to be a tomputer pro Orammer and make mans thous ands ot dol lars Bob w tped the saltsa from the torners ot hts mouth H hat tare l about ltterature and thtnffs aesthettt The ENC reerutter dtd all he tould wtth out lstnv outrtvht to persuade Bob ot the benettts ot a Chrtsttan ltberal arts eduta tton He esplatned how our spettttt turrttu lum teathes students not onls how to do a eertatn tob but how to ltse He went on to explatn how mans students arent sure at ttrst what lteld tnterests them the most and the ENC Lore exposes them to some ot es ersthtnv Ftnalls as tt betame apparent that Bob would not be tonstneed the reerutter wrapped ht ttnvers around Bobs throat lttted htm oft the floor 1nd ptnned htm to the wall ravtnv tnto hts late There ls no eonllttt between the best tn edueatton and h best tn Chrtsttan tatth Got that Bob None Releastnv hts Urtp he allowed Bob to sltde tnto a trembltnv mass on the floor And then he lett paustnv onls to sptt on Bob s shoes Bob went to Another Leadtnv Boston Area .bthool There he Got ht devree tn tomputers wtth relattsels ltttle exposure to edutatton ot ans other sort lPhew 2 Now Bob had an tnterstew for a sers lutrattse posttton wtth a Laroe Computer Ftrm Lpon dtseosertnv that tt had been narrowed down between htm and another applteant ENC Graduate Bob s tonltdenee Grew to trrttattng proporttons Bob stepped tnto hts prospetttse emplos er s ofltte tor a ttnal tnterstew Stt down Bob Care for a ttgarette ' the prospeettse emploser querted warmls Hhs ses thank sou satd foul habtt plagued Bob That s a ptts Bob satd the prospetttse emploser 'He don t muth ltke foul habtts around here Your bods ts a temple Dtdn t ansone eser tell sou that Bob ' H ell He ll UlUsI oserlook that for now The prospeettse emploser made a notatton on a ptece ofpaper before htm Tell me Bob W hat do sou know about Immanuel Kant and the 'sloral lmperattse' H no ou know lmn pta sophe wh1be'tese 11 01 n bsotute rule or et sou J wt nv t1 see , tet. s 1ta n w t t t t, 1 t persptr 'ton l1 d pre d e Ts on tront l1 sntntnf' upper t es ttse emploser made '1 h Ich l' ls T7 ' s. nu kwtulls dvrned n teueh D nt sou t tnk sO bla c bt X moment ot stlent t s et. 'not er rn rk was made on the '11 r lb dont sou brtells outltne tor nn e est. leadtn up I7 Btsmarek s bt snnert eontrol ot Germans te sot. s t tut nswertt 1st Ucs' 1 Do sou beltese there t Hts tontlttt betweer the best tn edut ton nd he bes. tn h ttan tftth o Uasped nd tnsttrt Url ed to protest ht thro t Het 0 o sou o sou ob Answe me Q o sou Bob Bob Sltdtnv from hts eh Bob pl hed lt htls tnto pool ot hts own swell her he made 1 Our-fltn-1 sound nl sltthtered from the otttte The prospetttse emploser r111de one rno . not1tton on the paper 1 dtdn t et that lutr t sepostt on w h the L1r-Je Computer Ftrm Thte ENC duate wh 1 h d re1d The Odssses 1nd knew l a out lndta s uste ssstem td e Xloral ness sou w nt t ooltnv p upon trem tnv sssel stammertnv swetts was tnv swelts mr tnv sltt ertns sltme take tds vntave 1 ENC Lore nd remember There Is no tontltet between the best tn edut ttton 1nt. the best tn Chrtstwn t1tfh Crusader man 1 g . . . M.. t . U S' g 1 1 14. 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