Eastern Nazarene College - Nautilus Yearbook (Quincy, MA)

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ry rats, but rather letting them loose to roam freely in the walls and ceilings of Spange. We are currently checking with Guinness, as we ha ve reason to believe that this quali- fies us for a record in owning the world 's largest Habitrail cage. C 0s 0' i 5 .nail 'lf if 8' apath I looked again into the face of apathy today In armored attitude I asked if I might voice my say It wouldn t listen as I preached my words in printed gray I stuffed my sermons in my coat and turned and walked away belch Recently. someone reprimanded me for belching aloud. I will not say' who this was, but it definitely was not my roommate. Whats the matter -with belching out loud eveny' once in a while? Everyone belches.' People have to belch. If people did not belch, they would explode when they had gas, or the gas would find another orafice to escape through. Belching saves us the trou- ble of enduring the other possibilities for expulsion of gas. We're talking biological facts here. Do you know what happens to a seagull if you feed it an Alka-Seltzer? It blows up. It blows up because it can't belch. How would you like to see someone blow up every time an Alka-Seltzer was swal- lowed? Not a pretty thought. is it? What do you think would happen to the Alka-Seltzer industry if a few people exploded in a greasy little restaurant somewhereq Utter chaos Think of all the thousands of little towns in Pennsylvania who s economy depends on the manufacture and distribution of these fizzy little wonders Thousands of unem ployed Pennsylyantans with payments to they have a role of those dead give-a way mints in every garment they own. Good try though. This type of thing is bound to come out sooner or later. lf people with halitosis would finish one role of mints before they start another, no one would ever know. lfl ran a breath mint company. I would do away with that stupid little blue center. I t tastes just like the rest of the mint anyway. If they would make the mints a little more sta ble. they could get a strong following by the halitosis crowd. The halitosis crowd should definitely' be target market. But then again, if I ran a breath mint company, I would have lots of money, so people wouldn 't say' anything if I belched out loud. I would probably have a reserved parking spot too. Walt Pollard for CAMPUS CAMERA blood 3 13.3 make on their big pick up trucks Whole towns will dry up in a matter of weeks Where do you think these people s children will end up In college no doubt In college with big pick up trucks that will end up in my fa vortte parking spot We just don tha ve room for all those trucks The only people who shouldn t be allowed to belch are those who ha ve chronic halito sis Forgive me I know it sgenettc and ever ythtng but belching and halitosis are just too much when they double up on you Un less of course the halitosis victim has the presence of mind to carry breath mints Brea th mints are great for oeople who ha ve halitosis Great that is unless they buy the ones thatlook like white Life Savers with the center filled tn with blue stuff These are not good because they get fiaky after they ve been tn your pocket for a while I think they oxtdtze Anyhow you know right away that someone has halitosis if they give you a mint that is fiaky It is fiaky because breakfast There are about six people who rise each morning and go to breakfast for what ever reason nutrition study time caf fetne Breakfast ts different The rules are different Its no social blunder to sit on the OTHER SIDE of the salad bar It is in fact not ey en some kind offa ux pas to sit all by oneself As for myself when I go to breakfast I don t want to talk to you Idon t want you to yell a cheerful hello from the fruit bowls I do not want to know that you exist I want to Slt quietly and alone by a window and glare contemplatively oyer my teacup out at the pervading daytime Its really a pleasant yiew from the cafe in the morning The sun s rays creep slowly across the aesthetic nightmare of Spange Willy s architecture And the squirrels find a sprttely perch on the branches of nearby . v . , . V . . -r ' - y v 1 ' y' y , . ,, 4 6 O -,..--. V I 1' 9 1' -, be f.. Q , h ' ' 9 ' ' cf ' , 'Q 1 ,. f, 1 I .j,,g t ..-- J - -'vjl' V, f -.5 Y . .-fit. '12 lil . - ' Y.' U - . ,- ' .X a ..f f - yi . - W., A . fi . , . ,- ,. 1 ' I IAQ L4 . N V V. V . 3 , r 1 . . . , . . r , , , . V. . . V. , . ' - Q I I I - , . , . . - 1 V . . A. , . I - - . , ' 1 -1 ' I y , . V. O . , . , . . . . . . . y , . . . 1 9 .1 ' 1 . H . A - ' ' V -4 f . U . H . ,, v. . Y , I - 4 T. ' . I r . ' 1 ' , . , . , , 1 1 ' , , . . . . X, . . , , . V . . I J F . . . - - y . . . V . ,. I, . . 'I . 4 . . . y v f v , 4' 1 -f Dictionary U ,.