Eastern High School - Lantern Yearbook (Lansing, MI)

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' RUMORS AND REVERBERATIONS OF THE FACULTY It has been the custom of Eastern High School since its founding in 1928, to have on hand a group of elderly people known by various names, the more polite of which are faculty or teachers. Some of these people have survived the turmoil that is Eastern for a full 16 years and still show no signs of cracking. Contrary to Miss Toogood's assertion that she has taught at Eastern for 50 years, a falsehood apparent from the start, we find she is relatively new here, with but 14 years to her credit. It isn't too simple a matter to pick out the members of the Faculty's Old Guard, which, incidentally, comprises more than a third of our teaching staff, for they are, in general, remarkably well preserved. By dint of much research and persuasion, the names of these exponents of the theory that life begins at forty may now be revealed. The discerning student will find that this list divides itself roughly into two groups, male and female. The males include Mr. Leach, Mr. Lange, Mr. Anderson, Mr. Chadwick, Mr. Van Liere, Mr. Burnham, Mr. Wheeler, Mr. Peterman, Mr. Winston, Mr. Flory, Mr. Gilson, and Mr. Sage. On the distaff side we find Miss Knevels, Miss Garrity, Miss Grohe, Miss Smith, Miss Wood, Miss Cline, Miss Gunnison, Miss Reynolds, and Miss Vollmer. Most of the aforementioned are remarkably active, considering all they have endured through the past decades. We haven't the slightest doubt but what they will be still going strong when Eastern itself crumbles into dust. Since there is no way known to mortal man by which one may extract the true ages of these people, we must forego the pleasure of this expose and content ourselves with the knowledge that we can escape their clutching hands by the simple trick of graduating. In the past couple of years a shot of adrenalin has been injected into the veins of a systematic faculty in the shape of the effervescent Mr. Lott and the romantic Mr. Ross. Mr. Ross, however, collapsed under the strain of a year at Eastern and retreated into the refuge of a dry-cleaning career. Veterans of several years of turmoil and still retaining some m asure of their sanity are Messrs. Brisbin, Harris, and Feeman. These genttlemen still derive considerable enjoyment out of life and yet instill in their classes sizable tidbits of knowledge, notwithstanding the attempts of the students to forget all they learn. Taken as a whole, the faculty of Eastern deserves mingled credit and condemnation for their sterling job of preparing young hopefuls for release on an unsuspecting world. Page Eighteen

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