East Lansing High School - Ceniad Yearbook (East Lansing, MI)

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The Gllleniab 92 Brnpberie nf ye bzniur Qlilassz fwhich same is forsooth quite puny and contrarie, but peculiarlie in accorde with ye facts as witnessed by Misse Stophlette and ye editorj to wit: Gadzooks and longbowsl Wille we never wende our wearie way forth from this foul forest? So wondered Misse Stophlette and ye editor as they wandered about among ye talle trees in ye midst of ye deep forest five hundred years ago. But stayl What is this? A youth approaches them with manly stride and smiling visage. He appears strangely familiar to ye lonlie wanderers, but it is not until he opens his mouth that they recognize him. Good morrow, Farrandln speaks up Misse Stophlette. I pray you, what art thou doing in this wide forest?', By my beard,', answers Mr. Ward, for forsooth it was he, I am Ye King's Head Huntsman. I am Ye Keeper of Ye Deare and at present am searching for younge game. Canst I do anything to help you? Truly thou canst, speaks up ye eager editor. How mayst we reache ye King's Castle? Follow me, replies Brother Ward, and I wille leade ye theref' He sets off through ye forest followed by Misse Stophlette and ye editor. In a short time ye Wanderers are led up to ye gate of ye beautiful castle, and ye keeper hurries back to search for his youngc game-a very pleasant task, methinks. Ye Gate Attendant, Barbara Struble, is so busie drawing ye draw bridge fwith India inkj that she does not recognize her olde palle and teacher, but ye Heralds Carol and Harker blow ye trumpets loudly, so that ye Pages Woodcock and Barrett come running enxceedingly faste and rushe backe to announce to ye King Crossman VIII ffamous for his chivalrie and love aifairsj that he has two visitors. ln a few minutes Misse Stophlette and ye editor are admitted into ye honorable presence of ye greate King and his favorite Queene Moira. Ye Kinge doesn't saye much, but ye Queene easily makes up for his silence, and ye visitors learne that they are to be entertained after sundown by all ye stars in ye King's realm, and that until that time, they have ye King's Royale Permission to roame around about ye Olde Castle, which same they promptly do. Ye guests are favored with a verie accommodating guide in Friar Refior, who is also an inventor of gunboats. Ye Friar immediately takes ye visitors to ye kitchen where they observe ye Royale Cook, Dick Grantham, master of ye pigskin, in his element. And ye editor, with her eye for news, descries over in ye corner ye Heade Spooner, Jere Kimball, making mush with a Lee while the other Lee gazes wistfully from behinde ye Royale Churn and mutters, They're getting butter and butter all the time! Also in ye kitchen, ye visitors observe ye Official Wine Taster, John Burton, wetting his whistle and ye Official Food Tasters, Munter and Melching, munching mush. Ye 'hungrie visitors catch a hot dog fumbled by ye Cooke, and run out the doore, stumbling over Arn Jerome, ye Keyhole Reporter for ye Castle Snooze, plying his trade outside. He informs them that he has had, a verie profitable daye, having observed two budding romances alreadie. Ye firste is between Sonny, ye Garlent Charger in Arms--also wondering where the nexte shekel is coming from-and ye Queen's Handy Maid, Nita. Ye Keyhole Reporter believes that this romance wille not laste longe because there are obviously other parties involved. Ye seconde romance, states ye Welle-informed Arnold, is between ye Court's favorite Jiggle-O, Bob White, renowned for his version of ye songe, Put me in, Coachln, and ye Sophisticated Ladie of ye Court, Clara Younger fyounger than you might thinkeb. Juste then, ye Royale Ice Man, Dean Webert, enters, pickin' his teeth, followed by Bronson Glines, ye Royale Milke Man, and ye Plumper Plumber, Bill Somers, carrying his left-handed monkey wrench, Juanita Ayres, who are in turne followed by ye Fuller Brushe Man, Paul Kirker, who has a newe brushe to remove ye rim from ye Royale Bathe Tub. While they are conversing with these olde friends, in comes running Louie Nash, ye King's Messenger Boy, with bad newes of ye battle at Mason. Evil befall ye irascally Masons! Ye guests passe nexte to Ye Royale Stable where they finde ye Stable Groom, Stanley Page Twenty-two

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Eb: Czniah I, Arnold Jerome, leave Miss Elliott in a, good humor. I, Jere Kimball, gladly transfer my handsome appearance to Joe Lynch. I, Paul Kirker, solemnly leave Jasper to any one who is man enough. I, Stanley Krentel, graciously leave my ability to skip study halls regularly to Ray Smith. I, Carol Krueger, sadly leave my pull with Miss Elliott to Max Nelson. I, Alice Lee, regretfully leave my love for Socrates to Jean Widick. fSee Ward.J I, Martha Lee, take a last look at my scholastic record before leaving it to Art Boettcher. I, Jeannette Loree, do leave my ability to chatter in library without being reprimanded to Jean Tansey. I, Mary Jane Lough, do leave my radiating personality to Greta Garbo. I, Eva McAlvay, leave my airplane hair to Wayne Lee. I, Barbara McWilliams, leave my Mt. Clemens love affairs, as examples, to Louise Jarred. fNot that she needs them.J I, Kay Melching, leave my stage cat to Kate Baldwin. I, Leola Morris, gladly leave my lack of heighth to Emma Jean LeRoy. I, Elisabeth Munter, leave my boisterousness to Jane Musselman. I, Louis Nash, willingly leave my book on I-Iow to Have Eight Dates for Sixty-eight Cents to Gordon Publow. I, Betty Neitz, leave my uducky walk to Mr. Cleminson. I, Jack Patriarche, leave my Charlie Chaplin feet to Lynn Penfield. I, Myrtle Patton, leave my art of drppping handkerchiefs at the most opportune moment to Dorothy I-lolmberg. I, Lanette Pennifill, leave my eyelash mascara to Bob Baldwin for his would-be mustache. I, Graham Philp, leave my ability as a hockey player to Henry Dirks. I, Robert Refior, leave my gunboats to the Navy. I, Gerald Robey, bequeath my wagon wheel stride to Doris Lange. I, Flossie Ruhl, leave my retiring personality to Pat Sanford. I, Elwyn Scruby, leave my hot banjo tunes to Dika Jane Newlin. I, Alma Somers, do bequeath my golden locks to Mary Halligan. I, Bill Somers, leave my physique to Ben Morgan. I, Barbara Struble, do bequeath my ability to do interpretative dancing to Jessie Patton. I, Marjorie Suesz, leave my fine sense of sportmanship to anybody who would profit by it. I, Theoda Sutherland, leave my weak voice to the Scales Qthey can fight over it.J I, Gerald Thatcher, leave my position on the golf team to Francis Lynde. I, Margaret Tucker, leave my avoirdupois to Dana Mae Barton. I, Wilbur Walton, leave my piano moving :ability to Roy Mallman. I, Farrand Ward, leave my gum at home. fBy special request of Miss Stophlet.J I, Dean Webert, leave my pink tooth brush to Parker Gray. I, Roger Woodcock, leave my ability as a coronet player to Gerald Winter. fWe don't know who needs it the moreij I. Clara Younger, leave my ability to write Econ. reports to Art Boettcher. I, Willard White, leave my can of Ovaltine which makes me such a good basketball player to Warren Tansey. I, Bronson Glines, leave my slick pompadour to John Murphy. In this year of the N.R.A., C.W.A., P.W.A., A.A.A., C.C.C., nineteen hundred and thirty-four, in witness thereof we hereunto subscribe our names and seal. THE SENIOR CLASS. Witnesses: The Staff, The Adviser. Page T wenty-one

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The Isaiah Krentel, holding hands with ye Ladie-in-Waiting, Margaret Tucker. Ye Keeper of ye Royale Steeds, Art Egan, comes out to greet ye visitors, accompanied by Robert Hicks, ye Keeper of ye Royale Hay and Oats, and they returne immediately to their beloved worke as soon as ye visitors leave. In one corner of ye Stable, ye visitors observe ye Courte Villain, Vcrdon Barry fbery, bery villainousj, shooting craps with ye Royale Barber, William Brad- ford, who's winning by a close shave fa hair's breadthj. Next ye Friar leads them into ye Royale Garden, where they observe ye beautious gardens, kept so by ye King's Keeper of ye Greens, Gerry Thatcher, aided by his assistant Bprdetta. In ye distance they observe ye Royale Mille, where, the Friar tells them, are working Josephine Miller and Beulah Binding. Suddenlie they are interrupted by ye Little Lame Prince, VVally Walton, who comes running in on crutches, crying that Little Lorde Fauntleroy has copped his newe suite of amour. Odds Bodkinsl What mightst this be that cometh around ye corner? Truly it is Little Lorde Fauntleroy on his toy horse. It is not until he steps off the horse and starts walking toward them that ye visitors recognize Art Jenkins. He looks a little peculiar in ye velvet shorts and ye big bow tie. Immediately behinde ye Little Lorde comes his tutor, Josephine Gardner, who catches ye two culprits and carries them off, one under cache arme, kicking and screaming, Jenkins with his tongue out. Poore girle, what a taske she does have! Ye guests are led back into ye castle and ye nexte people they see are ye Castle Beggar, Graham Philp fbegging for bigger and beggar beggarsj engaged in a combat with ye Keeper of ye King's Wardrobe, Gerald Robey. They are so busy arguing that they take no notice of ye visitors, who continue. on their way. They nexte see ye King's Lawyer, imported from the South, Dennis Barton, discussing some new law points with his assistant, Mary Jane Lough. Standing near them is Lanette Pennifill, ye Official Pen Filler, who is engaged in filling King Crossman's pen with half water and half ink. In another corner two ladies- in-waiting, Eva McAlvay and Virginia Bates, are talking. Eva is explaining the value of silence at certain times and Virginia is listening with abated breath. Ye visitors becoming wearie with so much confusion, retire to their rooms to await ye evening programme promised them by their genial hosts, King Crossman VIII and his beautious Queen Moira. When ye houre for ye programme approaches, ye guests are conducted to ye banquet halle by ye twin squires, Morris and McWilliams, whom they are unable to telle aparte. They arrive upon ye scene of action juste as ye Royal Curtain rises upon a verie amusing skit. Ye Devoted Queene of Utopia, Margaret Atkin, comes screaming in, dragon' along behind her Bob Bailey, puHing forth white fire which turns blue litmus paper red. Juste as she is about to be overcome in charges ye Gallant Knight, Ross Handy, to ye rescue of ye faire maiden. He finally conquers the bellowing dragon, using ye same tactics, and is ye victor by one puff. Ye morale of this skit, as explained by ye Royale Director of Skits, Elva Lea Foltz, is that you can't keep a good bellower down. Ye next event on ye programme is a series of dances, among which is ye Dance of ye Diamond Star, Catherine Adams, who completely astounds her audience. Next there are three ballet dancers, Sutherland, Loree and Suesz, who do a firedance, sorta hotl accompanied by Elwyn Scruby, the two-by-four, toot before, troubadour. Ye Royale Announcer, Earle Jack Pearl Patriarchc, announces that ye nexte event will be a torch song by Myrtle Patton, to ye accompaniment of ye Royale Minstrel, Jeanette Eichinger, but ye audience rushes up on ye platforme and starts pattin' Patton on the back so hard she drgps her accent and is unable to proceede. Ye programme continues with ye crowning event-Alma Somers is crowned Queen of ye Summer Sports, and she with ye aide of Betty Neitz, knights a few worthie knights upon this night of all nights. And then to give a fitting close to ye interesting programme ye King calls upon Jester Hays for jester 'nother joke, which puts everyone asleep for five hundred years. Thus closeth ye Senior Classe Prophecie, which perchance you will agree is a triHe backwards, but which we sweare is strictly true. Signed: MISSE STOPHLETTE, YE EDITOR. Page Twenty-three