East High School - Cardinal Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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'af i YVe believe not. XYe will demonstrate its uses, employing only prominent East High personages as examples. The clock in A room does not run. Mr. Ackerson says, however, that he is never at a loss to measure time, for the jaws of his pupils unfailingly click off tbe seconds. XYe will now cite a few of the more selfish advantages of the habit of masticating gum. Vtho has not at some time admired another's lasting' conversational powers or the strong, determined appear- ance of his lower maxillary? flf you think you have not, remember Pkl Rvhl- and Mr. T-wne.j How were these enviable assets obtained? We answer conhdently, by the use of gum, Vie venture to state boldly that fully two-thirds of our prominent hlibusters and square jawed heroes received their early training on gum. ln yet another and still more aesthetic way is the humble cud of gum valuable. Many of us are beautiful. XYe admit that. tln view of I l e Pl nt, I l t XV bst r, and -I-m-s L--v-jwwy, could we well do less?j Not many of us are truly graceful. XYe admit that, too. Ulf course there are l-r-n- E-dd- and L-Wgh L-ni-rA+x.yj But grace is as attractive to many as beauty itself. Yery well, let us become graceful then. How shall we set about it? Grace has been defmed as beauty in motion. tl'ersonally we consider that a rather neat definition: but let that pass, we will not obtrude our opinions on anybody.J In order to have ever graceful faces, then, all that is necessary is to keep our naturally beautiful visages in ceaseless action. How may we do this with sanity and propriety? The answer is simple: chew gum. Note.-Anyone desirous of instruction in this difficult art will hnd a most worthy and experienced teacher in D-n-ld Br-wn. -nw fr--'aw l 'b 4 ? 1 Twclrc

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he rntnheh Lllnfak mums As many inquiries have come to the Cardinal Board,-that being considered a wise and able body of scribes,Aasking how to obtain entrance to the different rooms, zfia the cloak rooms, about 8 125 in the morning, the following suggestions are offered: If you are very small and thin, you may be able to turn sidewise, and by a series of quick slides, get through the crowd. If you have several friends who also wish to go into the room, you can probably get through by the concentrated efforts of all,-that is by getting one behind another, and pushing with all your strength. Another way would be to drop on your hands and knees and crawl through where the hobble skirts make room. If you are a coy little thing, with dimples and blue eyes, and most of those in the cloak room are of the opposite sex, you will doubtless experience no trouble. However, if hatpins predominate, you will have to fight your way. If you are a football player, you have probably had sufficient practice to enable you to go through any crowd without difficulty, by using the same tactics as on the football field. BUT be careful that you do not pull off any curls as you go past. lt would be decidedly embarrassing, in the midst of a recitation to realize that a silky curl was hanging to your coat button. lf none of these ways appeals to yon, the best thing to do is to go out into the hall and come in through the main door. The above suggestions are all that the combined efforts of the Cardinal Board can produce for the present relief of the difficulty. But surely an appeal should be made to the Technical Society: for what is the reason for the existence of this organization if it is not some practical benefit to the school? A member of the club could bring up the matter at the next meeting, explain the difficulties, and suggest that some mechanical apparatus, working on the principle of the pulley, or better yet, some diminutive form of airship, could be arranged. 'Un- doubtedly, some ingenious brain could devise a solution to this vexing problem. he Qfieitile rf nf Clfheining 6911111 Gum chewing is a delightsome pastime and a deservedly popular one. No one who has ever visited liast High doubts its popularity. But has it ever occurred to anyone that gum-chewing besides being pleasant is useful as well? Elweu

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