East High School - Cardinal Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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Then we reached the highest pinnacle of life, our third year. All sorts of new and wonderful things opened up before us. Like the Romans of old, we stood in the marketplace, listening to that old street preacher, Cicero, tear the feelings of the populace and the knowledge from our brains, to shreds. We mentally applauded Catiline for his conspiracies and only wished that we could have had a shot at that dear Kick-a-row before he had had a chance to write his much admircd(?) orations. Many of our worthy class-men were in danger of being carried to St. Peter stark mad after six weeks in this beloved study. Then we all of us became rank, crazy physicists, and walked the streets, and gazed upon the passing mob, and wondered where their fulcrums were. We lisped our a, b, c’s in French and German. We joyfully sang in foreign tongue verses to the effect that “Mary had a little lamb. We entered the beautiful realm of fiction.” took on the manners of the middle ages and manfully decided to carry off our ladies or to die. After a five months’ dose of Shakspeare. we closed its gloomy covers, resolved, beyond chance of change, never to open them again. All these fine things we learned; and yet when the time came we lacked. List ye. further, to the record of the class of Naughty Eight. Altho our class had learned so much, altho each one in it felt certain he was destined to be one of the princes of this world. yet I doubt if any one would have guessed our future greatness, had he visited our first class meeting. We started early in the fall, and this was fortunate, as we would, surely, never have decided about our pins and—other things, in less than one short year. We formed the worthy habit even in the beginning of deciding and re-deciding each point at three separate class-meetings. Our purpose was, that we might never lack business to transact—and to furnish amusement to the Seniors. No one has even hinted that we failed in the latter. Our first meeting was a very wordy one. We decided many weighty matters. With dignity magnificent, we argued about— what? Nobody there concerned himself with that. But at any rate, at the next meeting we decided that all which had gone before was illegal, so we started from the very beginning once more. In this way. you perceive, we could once more enjoy that over-powering feeling of setting a precedent for future ages. This time, we commenced in an entirely different way. We first accepted a constitution. Each separate one of us felt as if it were a case of “We, the people of the Lnited States in congress assembled. We saw, mentally, coming generations worshiping before it. and lusty operators reciting it on future Fourths. Therefore, with pomp and 20

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those lists were some months! Such things as these were, however, but momentary’ checks in our course toward fame and glory. Nothing could stop our class long. As Sophomores, we took our places the next autumn. ’ Tis sad but true that our Geometry did sorely vex us. Altho we spent most of our time in our journey among the angles in wondering how long the present teacher would last, yet one of our class, after much endeavor, succeeded in disproving our pedagogue’s pet theory, that, If you go half the distance in the first step, half the remainder in the second, etc., you will never reach the wall toward which you journey. This statement our brilliant friend classed as absurd; and boldly walked across the room and threw himself against the wall. Strange to say. the teacher did not laud him for his brilliancy. Thus it is, prophets are ever without honor in their own country. Altho our class marched over Caesar’s bridge in fearful disarray; altho Milton’s ghosts did sadly haunt us; altho the restlessness of the Ostrogoths, the Visigoths, the Vandals, and the Huns did lead us into many a snare; yet the most of us survived. and stood, battered heroes, ready for our fourth term. Now it was that our dear class was scattered. Part, from fell necessity, remained just where they were; the more fortunate ones among us came to the first floor where we mingled with those wonderful and superhuman beings called Juniors. There is was, we learned that it was bright to skip and to write most plausible excuses for the same. We found how excellent a thing it was to have a room so near the outside door. We discovered how much better cake tastes when bought in the middle of the second period, than at recess. Many a very pleasant thing did those good Juniors teach us. About this time it seemed as if we were indeed the Noble Six Hundred. ’ On all sides of us, militant teachers operated huge cannon whose chief aim it -seemed to be to mow down as many of our stalwart companions as possible with huge round zeros. Ours not to make reply. Ours not to reason why. Ours but to do and die. Yes, there were indeed. Cannon to the right of us. Cannon to the left of us, Cannon behind us. But, with valor unimpaired, all that was left of us, but not. not the six hundred, marched into the Junior room with colors flying. 19

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circumstance, We, the class of Nineteen hundred eight. in the Junior room assembled, did ratify that weighty document. (Please forget for the moment, if possible, that it is copied verbatim from the one the Seniors have.) We next elected officers. The English Dictionary does not contain words half expressive enough to place their charms before you in a fitting manner. They are the superfine representatives of a superfine class. It was at this time that the talk of class pins first came to our lips. When children, our class must have been enthusiastic patrons of the neighborhood teeter-totter, for this now seemed to be our favorite sport. The class divided, and ranged itself on either end of the apparatus and then the sport commenced. First up, then down, then up, then down, ad infinitum. After two months of this exciting play the children on one end grew tired and jumped off. So those for class pins gained their hearts’ desire! After this wearing exercise coupled with a dance which netted the class the enormous sum of four dollars and sixty cents, our class appeared to lose all interest in life and showed no signs of returning vigor until the coming of the new term with its same old story of flunk, flunk, flunk. joggled it into a state of animation. Before the last word is spoken concerning our fifth term, two things a little outside the history, but well within the interest of our classmen, deserve notice here among the deeds of heroes and brave men. The first was a frolic for the class by one of its members on ghostly Hallowe’en. It is not exaggerating the facts, to say that an exciting time “was had. The second affair was a wonderful German Christmas Celebration given by two of our much admired teachers. Upon the festal evening, we arrived at the school at about five o’clock, our infant minds filled with roseate visions of rattles, rag babies, and other Christmas joys. After some unimportant preliminaries, during which we acted like children of about six who have never been away from their mothers before, we marched up the stairs announcing to the world, that Allc Jahre wieder kommt der Weihnachtsman.” Then we joined hands around the tree and bellowed forth, O Tannenbaum. Next we announced the enlightening fact that Morgen kommt der Wienachtsman. and later on we cased the minds of the waiting world by revealing the fact that even “Der Grosspapa was satisfied with what he received. After the awful suspense caused by this last, we settled down to the serious business of eating, at least we commenced to, with the best of intentions. But woe! what messes we received! It may easily be said that the like of them was never seen before on land or sea. If it hadn’t been so tragic, it would have been laughable to notice an unsuspecting 21 i