Drake University - Quax Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

Page 32 text:

I am Donkey No. 2, of : Nad A J, this great school. l ' X00 My t-rainin has x ff g B- been more limited 's 'X fl along some lines 2 than that of my W, companion, but my - talents are more msn' 111- ' varied and can bet- ter be rendered serviceable. In some ways I can truthfully be called the, shadow, the imitator, but, when it comes to the genuine characteristics of the Donkey, theseI possess inha superlative degree. In the first place I am tricky. Many times have I raised havoc and looked as innocent and unconcerned as-as a Donkey. Things have dropped, and things have been broken, there have been explosions and the school has been put in a commotion, and people have wagged their heads, saying that it was the leading Donkey, but no one suspicioned Donkey No. 2. Also I can kick, and kick to some purpose, too. During a protracted siege of my kicking the very foundations of the University trembled, and the professors grew perplexed and then distracted in their inability to comply without com- plying. Another thing, when I open my mouth intelligible sounds issue forth, by the hour I can reel offyarn after yarn, interesting and fascinating yarns. pathetic and humorous yarns, long and short yarns, all of which have in times past formed a part of my experience when I was in Cleveland, Chicago or'Arizona. Should my services be needed in any of theabove stated lines I can be found in the main hall of the main building any time between 7:45 a. m. and 6:00 p. m. My name is QWZMWQ

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F425-A3'1f'i?.ff I am. a part KN Y--!,,,,,.,,7jf-4 inseparable X X , .1 V and unchangeable Q Juli- of this University. Ihave filled my ' position in a 'way ' unequalled by my predecessors and A U - U A which can never 7- ti: be.excelled by any who may follow. I am, to state a concrete fact, the leading Donkey of Drake University. My accomplishments have caused much astonishment in the world of science, chief among these is my ability to talk. I can say many words- words-words-words. I think I may modestly say that my gift second in importance is that of furnishing amusement. Why, it is an honest and undisputable fact, established by many and varied experiments, that when I shamble into the class- room staipl professors will smile. The value of that smile is inestimable. It causes new life and vitality to be thrown unto philosophy and theology. If I stalk through the halls maidens titter and young men grin broadly, and visitors realize that they have met something unusual. Again, when I poke my head into the library heavy-eyed scholars glance up, long-faced theology students grow broad of countenance, then serious again, wondering wherefore the creator hath made such a being. Yet, after all, it is but I and I am only 541+ P. S.-The appearance of my hair is not the least in- dication of the nature of the cosmos of ideas within.

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bap I Zalendar. WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 19, 1900-Raining. Chapel dark as a stack of black cats. Everybody in deep indigo. Chancellor welcomes the new students. TUESDAY, SEPT. 25TH-More rain. Enter Dentals, headed by Prof. Ott. Speeches galore. WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 26TH-DR. Breeden and Kipling. Dean Shepperd missing. FRIDAY, SEPT. 27TH-Dean Sheppard looking happy, but nervous and excited. TUESDAY, OCT. 2D- Speaker ot morning forgets to come. Chancellor fidgety. Dean Shep- perd, under urgent pressure, says that his son will not appear on the athletic grounds for a week or two. lWild and enthusiastic applause? MONDAY, OCT. 8TH-Special Chapel to celebrate Grinnell-Drake game, 6-Ol Laws and Medics. appear in full war-paint. WEDNESDAY, OCT. 10TH-Announcements:-Only four meetings at five o'clock in room 16. FRIDAY, OCT. 12TH-Chancellor announces:- Inasmuch as we have no football victory to celebrate, we will hear from Dr. Lockhart on 'Hebrew Literature! Maior part of the speech postponed for Freshman-Sophomore scrap. Everybody adiourned to campus for scrap. TUESDAY, OCT. LSTH-Dean Bell announces Iowa City game. Captain Bacon goes driving. FRIDAY, OCT. 19TH--Mr. Held announces:- I would like to see all the young ladies that I' have on my list, at seven o'clock this evening. Students laugh. Mr. Held blushes. WEDNESDAY, OCT. 24TH-Dr. Finlayson discourses on Epsom Salts, Christian Science, Cod-liver Oil and Osteopathy. Chancellor announces Iowa City game. THURSDAY, NOV. l6TH-Dean Howard sings a love song in English. Two Medica ob- served to blushg one Sophomore and two Freshmen look very conscious. MONDAY, DEC. SRD-Special Thanksgiving Service. Praise God, from whom all bless- ings flow l Score, I6-Ol l TUESDAY, DEC. HTH-Cap and Gown Day. Ah, a very fine looking class. THURSDAY, DEC. 13TH-Quax makes its bow. Tommy Handsaker, Mother Woodman and Dean Shepperd say things wise and otherwise. The business manager, Mr. Hamilton, makes s Ciceronian appeal. He cries, Live or die, sink or swim, we are going to get out a yearly annual. ll THURSDAY, DEC. 20TH-Pass the hat for Sam's Christmas turkey. I. Q 1