Downers Grove North High School - Cauldron Yearbook (Downers Grove, IL)

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Mr. Johnson: Well, here's an interview with V. Frank, historian No engaged in writing history of Downers. He always was pretty good at that, wasn’t he? Hey, look here! 'H. Virgil Sutter, second Sinclair, baffles Senate inves- tigating inquiry. Mr. Sutter maintains he only uses axle grease for his hair and not motor oil as supposed; in spite of rigid cross-questioning he sticks to his story. Well, can you imagine it? Say, the Senate sure has nerve picking a nice chap like Virgil; remember what a whiz he was at basketball? Ho, hum: nothing more in this. I don’t think much of the Tribune any more. I he Reporter is better.’ (He begins to read post cards.) Hello, Ruth Henderson says she can t get home this week-end; too busy at the ‘Y.’ What’s she doing there? Ruth: Why, she’s in charge of all the athletics. She was always good in that, you know. They say she s thinking of starting a training school of her own.” Johnson: Well, she'd be good, I reckon—she’d be good. Here s one from Horace Waples. What d you used to call him? Oh, yes—Wop. He says three of the old ladies have mumps and he can’t leave. Hard job being superintendent of an Old Ladies’ Home. He has to read to ’em. He always did like old ladies, didn’t he? (A woman enters hurriedly.) Say, isn’t it Mildred Alyea? Hasn’t changed a bit, has she? Ruth: Yes, that’s Mildred, but she’s Mrs. Baron now. Eddie’s coach- ing at the new community high school and she’s giving a dinner tonight to his football men. Mildred: Why, how do you do, Mr. Johnson? It’s been at least ten years since you were here last. The town has changed, hasn’t it? Oh, tell me, is there a package here for me? 1 m expecting some things from the caterers. They must be here for Ed—I mean Mr. Baron’s—banquet tonight. Don’t say they have not come! Mr. Johnson: Yes, they have, but the package is too heavy to carry. I’ll send a boy over with it soon. Mildred: Thank you; I’ll be waiting for it. It's awfully good of you. Mr. Johnson: No trouble at all. Well, I hope your banquet is a great success. Mrs. Baron: I know it will be, thank you. Good-bye. (Two men entering the door raise their hats and exchange greetings with Mrs. Baron. They come towards Mr. Johnson.) Johnson: Well, well! Jesse Oldfield and Homer Boldebuck. You boys have not changed much, have you? How are you and what are you doing? Homer: Why, Mr. Johnson, you’re looking fine. Didn’t know you were in town. Lucky we dropped in. Jesse is after some stuff for the farm, due this morning. Some new patent tobacco sorters you know. If they don’t come he’ll have to do it himself, and it isn’t a fitting occupation for a tobacco king. Page lt»cnlv-cighl

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(Ruth continues to sort mail and he continues to read. Suddenly he roars and slaps his thigh.) “Oh my! Ruth, look here! I’m so relieved. It s settled at last. We’ve bin waitin sixteen years tor it. (He hums the Wedding March and takes mincing little steps down the room. Ruth snatches the paper and gasps.) 1 he announcement of Eleanor Hanchett s marriage! ’ Alter long years or courtship, Miss Hanchett hnally uses leap year to the best advantage . “Wal now—1 wanta know. (A woman dressed in the best of taste enters with large placards. As she sees Mr. Johnson she smiles and shakes hands.) Lady: “Why, how do you do, Mr. Johnson. Have you usurped Don- ald s position? It s been a long while since I last saw you.’ Johnson: “Well, Lucile Heintz! No, Van’s away. You get better looking every day. Lucile. What can I do for you? I forgot—I should say Mrs. President—1 just heard you lead the 'Woman’s Clubs.’ Congratula- tions. ” Lucile: “Thank you. I wondered if I could put these up here. We re giving a benefit show in a couple of weeks and we want it well advertised.’’ Mr. Johnson (takes card and glances over it) : “Well, well, Dorothy Drew, famous star, coming in a movie production of Edith Perron’s drama. Moonless Nights,’ most popular play in New York last season. Afterwards there will be a special Ballet by Mile. Freida Rawcliffiske and Mme. Pavlowa, famous dancers in court circles. Well, well, of course (he puts it in a con- spicuous place) glad to, ma’am. Them two girls always was fooling with writing and dancin’ here. Lucile: “ I hank you so much. Now, I must hurry. Good-bye. (Johnson again takes up paper, looks at head lines and whistles.) “Harold Phelps, famous evangelist, conducting revival at M. E. Church. His sermon tonight is: 'The Curse of the Ice Cream Soda.’ Miss Irene Tank, pianist, will play appropriate tunes. All come and be saved.” (Shaking his head.) How these children do grow up. I can remember them in H. S. They are as fine a bunch as now as then.” (Turns leaves pensively for few moments.) “Hey there, Ruth, look here, this ad. ‘Wanted, position by experienced butler, references from best families; box 431.’ Say, now, that's —let me see—that’s Paul Fraher’s box number, isn’t it? Say, I wonder if he still says ‘That’s just what I was going to do.’ Ha, ha! A determined looking woman enters, also bearing posters. “I’d like these put up please. Why, hello, Mr. Johnson. I'm Lillian Elarton. Those are my campaign notices. I’m running for Senatoress; my platform, bobbed hair for women’s rights and wrongs; and let the men wash the dishes. Johnson: “Wal, I’ll put 'em up. I hope you get it, Lillian—guess you will, the wimmin ’ll all vote for that platform sure. I’ll stick ’em up for you. Bye.” Red: “Good-bye, Mr. Johnson. Glad to have seen you again. Page Ivcnty-icvcn

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 ZWK Jesse: He thinks it is funny just because he owns and runs the Cheese Inn. Even if it is the best place in town to eat he needn’t be stuck up. Johnson: Now, boys, don’t quarrel. Say, it’s good to see you again; pretty near the whole class has been in here this morning. Say. who in Downers Grove is this? (A sleek, suave gentleman carrying a neat satchel enters and smiles engagingly at them. It is Kent Kingsley. Mr. Johnson feebly shakes his hand.) Johnson: I thought you were the King of England the way you look. Kent: No, but. say. the King of England uses this anti-bald solution of mine. It makes curly hair straight and straight hair curly. It’s the finest, the best and the nicest---- Johnson: Hold on, there; this is a postoffice, not a beauty shop. We are all handsome enough. What you want is Mme. Clara Plambeck’s Elite Hair Dressing Parlor down the street half a block. She might be interested. Kent: I hanks, but remember, Barnhart and Towsley. the Prince of Wales and Rudolph Valentino get their good looks from this. Good-bye. Mr. Johnson: Phew! Maybe if all them people use it--Say do you remember when he was the hairdresser in that play of yours? He was good. What’s that they used to say about coming events? Ha, ha! ' Ruth: Mr. Johnson, lock at the time. We’d better close. It’s been a good day. The whole class of 24 has been in. It’s seemed like old times, hasn’t it?” Johnson (as he locks up) : It has and I’m certainly glad Van picked me. I feel almost young again. Do you remember the time you kids---------- (The rest is lost as they go out the door. And the curtain falls for the last time on the Class of ’24.) Curtain. EDITH PERRON. Page ln enty-ninc