Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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Gleaner PAGE THIRTY COUNCIL THE Ll1'tZ Riuenberg, M. Goldstein, S. Rosenuu QPrcsideutJ, M. Schw XV. Front Row-

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Gleaner is an abbreviation for Old Reliable and is the only known abbreviation which has not been used in cross word puzzles. If you are still in the dark-allow me to further enlighten you. Old Reliable is the nickname for a most marvelous substanceg a dirty golden-hued paste, in thickness so dense that a five-pound brick would not sink in a saucer full of itg of taste so delightful that it is not easily forgotten and as a substitute, has no equal. I speak of Farm School molasses. O. R. is not of those things which has jumped into instantaneous prominence at Farm Schoolg on the contrary, it's rise to fame has been slow and deliberate, but sure. It was first introduced in that dim hazy past when the school was struggling to become established. The late Rev. Krauskopf, having started the school on its career, had found it hard to raise expenses, and naturally the pantry was not as plentiful as it might have been. In order to offset that. the cook tried to set upon the table something that would act as a substi- tute for everything the boys did not have and at the same time tickle their palates in order that they might not tire of it. Whether they tired of it or not is a ques- tion, but there is no doubt about it hav- ing tickled their said palatesg it still does. How long the cook hunted for a substitute is not known, but he Hnally struck upon this molasses and we have stuck to it ever since. Again I repeat- there is no known substance that can compare with it. It is made in Louisiana from sugar cane and is put into heavy barrels fwithout having been refinedj and then shipped to F. S. I do not be- lieve there is any other outlet for that product. The O. R. is our best friend and our worst enemy. It is like the Egyptian Pyramids, having remained intact thru countless years and having out-lasted everything else, whether great or small. It is our closest adherent and is always with us. It absolutely cannot be dis- couraged. It has that perseverance and persistence which is bound to attain suc- cess against all opposition. In fact, its perseverance is such that it never allows us to lose sight of it. 'Whether it be Monday or Tuesday, NVednesday or Thursday, Friday or Saturday, or even Sunday: whether it be Breakfast or Din- ner or Supper: whether it be a banquet or a meager repast, molasses is always in the center of the table. One cannot help seeing it. In its position it is the cynosure of all eyes. Yea. verily-spuds are only served three times a day, but O. R. is never even removed from the table. Sometimes I begin to wonder whether it is not a part of the table it- self, executed by some clever craftsman. In taste it is unlike anything else. All I have but to do is close my eyes and I can taste it on my tongue now. It is a ''never-to-be-forgotten. lf smeared on a slab of bread the consumer cannot taste the bread. If eaten plain-but I shud- der to discourse on that subject. A sweet, yet bitter, luscious, yet repellent taste, the only Way I can adequately describe it is by comparison with color. It has a green taste. If any food, of any style or manner, whether it be toasted cheese or oyster stew fminus the oysters usuallyb coffee or soup, does not agree, we resort to O, R. It is a blessed curse! Not only as a food is it famous. Its uses are many and varied and I believe that an entire volume can be written on each. Not only as food was it used, but as a shampoo for head and any other part of the body, as a grease to protect the sking as a varnish to cover it and at the peak of its popularity as a substi- tute for the famous tar in tarring and feathering. Upon the entrance of a new Freshman class into F. S. they were immediately introduced to it, or rather, it was intro- duced upon them. It became their first PAGE TWENTY-NINE

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EIIZEIHBI' close friend at school and as such re- mained throughout their stay. I myself can recall instances of its application to various parts of my anatomy and when I say that the feeling brought about by contact with the skin is worse than an attack of poison ivy I do not believe that I am exaggerating much. I can also re- call an instance when one of my class- mates was unable to take a bath after receiving a heavy dose and had to sleep overnight with O. R. on his body. The following morning he had to put his clothes on over his pajamas, because he could not tear them off, and when the opportunity for a bath arrived he had to steam himself for about an hour be- fore he could pry his clothes off. I believe he has not gotten over the effects of it yet. It was more popular as an application to a Freshman's skin than rotten eggs even. No S. S. A. was com- plete unless a tub of O. R. was present and distributed plentifully. A feature of these S. S. A.'s was to coat several Freshmen with molasses and then sprinkle them with feathers. The efect was wonderfulg they looked like the con- nection between a fowl and a human being and came as close to bridging a gap in the history of evolution as any thing else that was ever discovered by scientists. I can go on thus almost for- ever and then not exhaust my subject, but I must reckon with the patience of my readers. One more feature of this marvelous substance and I shall be through. You have but to speak to an Alumnus and he will inevitably bring O. R. into the conversation. In such instances it does not do to attempt to discourage him, because it will only serve to make him more talkative and cause him to elucidate for niany hours upon the sub- ject of O. R. I have had an Alumnus of the Class of 1904 tell me with mist in his eyes that he would give almost any- thing for a taste of that stuff again and I believe he would have gone to the din- ing hall for it had he not had to make a train. Just think-the taste of it and the influence it exerted over him lasted for some twenty years without abating- Opium thou art deposed! As a parting word I would make an appeal to you students who are to remain here for some time yet, to keep O. R. from dying out of prominence and fall- ing into the category of useless and for- gotten things. It will not be a hard thing to do because that substance is ever be- fore you, but what I fear is that you may come to accept it as part of the dining room fixtures just like the clock over the mantelpiece and in that attitude may even look straight at it without seeing its ricn dirty yellow color or even be tempted to taste of that wonderful lus- ciousness that positively does not remind one of honey. To sum it all upg I would ask you not to look at it with unseeing eyes and if I may offer a suggestion for keeping it alive I would say, taste it once in a while and you will not forget, try though you might. H. Rabinowitz '25 Rural Philosophy Take your city, close an' dusty An' your atmosphere so musty, Same ole things, so old, they're crusty. Country 11f9,S what I prefer. Country livin's sure a blessin', Your life may be gay, but listen Gosh! you don't know what your missen Of God's gifts, I've mine an' more. You can keep up all your kiddin', Nature's gifts to me ain't hidden, But to you, they're fruits forbidden, Keep your city,-I've got more. I'm content with cows, an hoen' Corn and watchin' crops agrowin' You're unlucky in not knowin' What you're missen' of Life's store. S.-Galob '26 PAGE THIRTY-ONE