Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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THE CLEANER lass EAR Ye. Oh! mcn of Lugarro, I return to our bclovcd temple of Yambubu after 1ny journey in Ifgoto among the Gurivi. On the fifty-seventh day of hIargoma. while the moon was yet as the eye of a wondering child. I ascended to the snow upon the Rotanzo. to seek the death that lurks there. I went high, till I reached the top, and there my eyes beheld the land of the Gurivi of Ugoto. I descended into their midst and they greeted me in a tongue I did not understand. They showed me temples and castles more beautiful than those in Lugarro. I soon learned their language and their customs. The snow of the mountain tops some- times descends to the plains. and it was in a time like this that I was taken to a land. far beyond the waters. called America. They have divided this land into many parts, but I was taken to a portion of that land named Pennsylvania. On a day which they call twenty-first of February. the day that is our seventy- fifth of llargoma, they showed me plains in which were many miles C a word used to show one-half of a casiloi of edo and mola which they call corn and wheat. I saw many taper and sanlo which they told me were called by them as cows and horses. I asked them where men learned to care for such things. I was told that on the following day a group of young men were to leave an institution, pre- pared to take the fields under their care, and raise the food for their brethren. On the Qtlnd of February we saw the fortieth group of men leave that school, a place where people study, to carry on the work of those who went before them. tupbenp I asked to see the work of thc men who went before them, Upon this request I was taken to a place called a farm. The owner of this place was a man who had left the school I had seen, fifteen years before. His name was Stringer. In Ifgota a man has two names. Before the word Stringer he had a name which was YY. Joe. He took us into his wigwam which was made of wood and there I met many persons, young and old. One skatino was there who was his wife. Around her were grouped the younger persons, twelve in number. The older persons were men who were friends of this farmer. They were there for council with Stringer to build a new castle at the school I had seen. They said it was to hold the cows of that school. They first conceived the idea when the school itself at. one time had spoken of its construction. These men had left this school at the same time Stringer left it. The names of these men were Elliott. Entwisle, Goldich and Packer. After their council was over I asked to see the work that these men were doing. I was first taken to a grey- stone castle. In it were many cages, and in each cage was a man. I soon learned that these men were kept there for taking things that belonged to others. They were under the care of the man named Elliott. These men were apparently happy since they called their home Sing Sing. I then wished to purchase for myself some apparel, such as was worn by the men of Ugoto. I was taken to a large building called a Store. Here 1 again met the man called Entwisle. He was supervising the selling of the store's Page .Yz'm'lec11

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THE CLEANER I, Joe Stri11ger, do pass on to the most apable and deserving man in the .Iuniorc Class the most honorable position of Captain of the 1924 Football Team of Farm School. Best O'Luc-k. I, hlorris Blush Ostrolenk, alias 1Iodest Ostyf' wish upon the next manager, the scheduling of games and Freshmen on the A. A. field, to learn the culture of grass and how to retard its growth thus doing away with Fresh- men Lawn IXIower Powerf, I. Louis Egra Goldich, will to hlark Fats Goldstein the three greenhouses, interest thereof and full charge of the famous fat reducing boilers to be given a double dose of coal every hour to nourish them back to normalcy due to underfeeding coming from that long remembered line, 'cGee, it's nice' to get up in the morning. but, it's nicer to lie in bedf' I, Abe Shevitz, alias Patrick Henry of Farm Sc-hooll' do transfer to Alfred Alfalfa Redsn Elfrey the movie machine and license also along with the job of Sunday lNIovies and my latest secret, c'I'Iow to become a convincing speaker. To the undergraduates we leave the school Cmost of it? and some more to be added, as we found it, less and plus a few things Qmostly lessj to be used as dormitories and not as smoke houses which includes the first Hoor of Segal Hall to be dispensed with as a lounging room for the whole school when the new dormitory is glued together. I, Joe Berman. naturalist of the class of '24, leave to Reds Elfrey, 1ny ability to trap. To Georgie Green, I leave my position as fullback, and to the rest my plea to continue the work I began by exterminating the sl-:unks and muskrats of Bucks County. Seal affixed this Twenty-second day of January, 192-L, exactly five years and eight months after prohibition. YE Sisxroas. V CLASS Morro IM E ILL ELL CLASS FLoWER I ELLOVV ARNATION 1 ft Page IFIQIIIICFI1

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THE CLEANER got ds. I had long before exchanged my jewels and gold with these people for small pieces of gold and silver called money for which things can be purchased. This man Entwisle was called a Floor Vfalkerf' After this I wished for some- thing by which to tell the hour of the day. I was conducted to another store, that had three gold balls suspended above the door. On the window in gold letters was the name Sam Packer. He was a good man. His chief occupation was the lending of money to those in need of it. He also sold many different things, ranging from clothing and instruments that make music to jewels and gold boxes that show the time of the day. IYe then went to a large glass house in which were many flowers. Here I again met the man named Goldich. He told me that he was the owner of this glass building. He also told me that on the morrow he would go to a distant city and invited me to go along. Wie went to a city called Chicago. Here I met 1nore men who had left this school during the same year. The names of these fellows were Shevitz, Victor, Klein, Cahan. Brewer and Filgut. These men of Kgoto hold many councils. I again attended a council where another build- ing for their school was discussed. The name of this building was to be Alumni Hall. It was to be a place where they could all stay if they visited their school. I was then shown a farm with many cows and reiter. which they call chickens. Their chickens were not as beautiful as those in Lugarro. They were all white and all were small. This farm belonged to Brewer and Cahan. Ive again traveled to another city named Detroit. Here I was shown a jungle of fruit trees. Be- sides these fruit trees were many small Page Twenty trees used to plant around new buildings when they are made. This jungle belonged to Shevitz and Victor. Each of these men had another occupation. Victor sold an object used in 1Iorgomo to cut the beard of the men. They are called razors. Shevitz had a. place to which every one brings money and he holds it for them until they want to use it. This place is called a bank. In this bank I picked up a book, on which was painted the picture of Filgut. Shevitz read the words on the bottom of this paper. It said Successor to Bernarr lIacFadden-Samuel F ilgutf' Klein then took me with him to another city which was called Cleveland. Here I again saw a farm with many chickens. These chickens were all black with white spots scattered in their feathers. On this farm was another jungle of trees on which fruit grows. At the close of the day Klein told me I would meet another man who left this school that year. I stayed at Klein's farm during the next day and in the evening the other man came. This man. whose name was Mfike, soon took me to another city called Pittsburgh. On the side of a mountain near this city he showed me his farm and his many little animals called lIoun- tain Goatsf' He had a queer way of calling these goats. He had a piece of iron which, upon his command, threw forth a blast of smoke and noise. When this smoke and noise went into the air, the goats. many in number. came walk- ing to him. The next day I was taken to a place called a factory. In this place were made two things. One was a little stick on which was a little hair. This was used to wash the teeth of the men of Ifgoto. liC07l1I'7IIlEd on page -181