Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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THE GLEANER 19 utensils, crockery and glassware, and the Junior, Fresh- men and future classes with the hopes that the Educa- tional Committee can abandon all future special ses- sions and hurried trips to Farm School. Item three: To our Director Bernard Ostrolenk with a full appreciation of his high ideals and enthus- iasm for literature of classic and philosophic nature we bequeth our entire collection of books including Nick Carter, Horato Alger, Police Gazette. Prize Fighters Monthly, Sporting Magazine and How to run a car 18 miles one gallon in hopes that he will find therein suffi- cient material for his daily round tables. Item Four To our dear Agricultural Professor, Mr. Lukens, we bequeath our wonderful herd of Holstems in the hope that all future calves will be heifers. Item Five: To our Governor Mr. Campbell S. O. S. we bequeath the old Gleaner Building, in the rear of Lasker Hall, to be fitted up as a cottage for two. Item Six: To Mr. Toor we bequeath an increase in salary is that he may feel free to go in search of a girl with toes pointing in. Item Seven: To Mr. Cassidy we bequeath honory presidency of the Farm School order of the Ritz O' Peechesf' Item Eight: To Mr. Reichie we bequeath Apple's famoushair growing tonic guaranteed to put fuzz on a billard ball or a marble table top. Item Nine: To Miss Churchman we leave our famous work entitled F. F. B. fFirst Families of Bronxj with family trees complete. W Item Ten: To Miss Gross we bequeath our famous invention produced after 3 years of deep research-a heel less and toeless sock, needs no darningg guaranteed to last the full 3 year course. - Item Eleven: To Mr. Young we bequest the requisi- tion system with reservation, fmostly reservationsj. Item Twelve: To Mr. Kraft we leave the perman- ent position of assistant foot-ball coach. Item Thirteen: To the new P. G's we leave the much longed for pleasurable honor of absenting them- selves from chapel and military formation. Item Fourteen: To the Class of 1922 about to be- come Senior we leave our well fitting uniforms, the rugs, lace curtains and furniture in the rooms honored by our use these past 12 months and the signs and posters of historical value acquired and about Doylestown by

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18 THE GLEANER satisfied so I went over to Statmans studio and picked out a girl, married her and settled down on a farm, and from that time until now I have been the slave of my worse half, my wife. So, Fate, I have learned what you could do in ten years, but as for the future it is as vague as it was ten years ago. Fate, tho I flogged you and I flayed you. By the living God that made you. Your a better man than I am. Give my regards to Ambition, and the next time you see him tell him I hope to meet him once more. Your faithful subject, HIRSCH TOUFF. h 42, V - Qs ? iZZ are asses-teas ef site Z ee e ISE? Solemnly mindful of the Crevity of life and of the tran sitoriness and elusiveness of all wordly possessions, and conscious of the great danger and risks we are about to face as we emerge from our chrysalis state and enter into the wicked activities of the world, no longer guided by the mindful eyes of our Director and faculty fin loco- parentisl we the members of the most illustrious class of nineteen hundred and twenty one of the world famed National Farm School flfounded 1897 by the Reverend Dr. Joseph Kraushoff D. DJ individually, separately, each for himself, likewise collectively, unitedly and binding being of sound and disposing mind, memory and understanding despite our three years incarceration here, do make, publish, declare and advertise fthru the Gleanerj this as and for our last will and testament, here- by revoking, setting aside, cancelling and abrogating all former wills, testaments, codicals, gifts or other benefi- cences by as heretofore made either individually or col- lectively. Item one: We desire that all our just debts and funeral expenses be promptly paid by our executors here- in after named. Item two: To our honored President and Board we leave with much regret these 500 beautiful acres, the various building as we found them 3 years ago minus a few window panes, doors assembly room chairs, ki'CCh911

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20 THE GLEANER our Historical Research Committee on dark and moon- less nights. Item Fifteen: To the Class of 1923 now emerging from servitude, we leave the custody and tender care of the incoming class of 1924 with special injunc- tions to remember their delicate constitutions and city palor and the great danger of causing weak hearts, backs and wrists if exercised too frequently. Item Sixteen: To Simon Loius Cohen we leave the hope that all will realize that though small physically, he is big and important. Item Seventeen: To Goldfield we leave our popu- lar work, Brains as a factor in successf' Item Eighteen: To Duskin fnee Maudelbaumj we leave a magnet so that when playing football he will be drawn thru the point his eye sees. . Item Nineteen: To Sneidman we bequeath that famous section of Dantes Inferno given over to eternal barn work. Item Twenty: To Snyder we leave Silverman's re- cent composition on Pure English with the hope that this humble effort will be an aid to, Snyder in enlarging his vocabulary. Item Twenty-one: To Regelson we bequeath this advise- Silence is the best form of intelligence: - Item Twenty-two: We hereby appoint the mem- bers of the Class 1922 to be the executors of this, our last will and tesament, with special request that their aims so far as their limited powers permit, to carry out the ideals striven for by us for the enlightment and betl terment of all underclassmen- In witness whereof we have hereunto affixed our names and seals this twenty-second day of February A. D. 1921, Jewish Calender 5681. Class of 1921 fsealsi - Signed, sealed, published and declared as and for their last will and tesament in the presence of us who at their request and in the presence of each other have hereunto affixed our names as witnesses, Gatzula Goldfield, Emma Goldman, Gabriello D'An- nuzio, Bennie Ime Koming, Bigbonch Kidds. Why is an elevator operator like a therometer? Because he has his ups and downs.