Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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18 THE GLEANER satisfied so I went over to Statmans studio and picked out a girl, married her and settled down on a farm, and from that time until now I have been the slave of my worse half, my wife. So, Fate, I have learned what you could do in ten years, but as for the future it is as vague as it was ten years ago. Fate, tho I flogged you and I flayed you. By the living God that made you. Your a better man than I am. Give my regards to Ambition, and the next time you see him tell him I hope to meet him once more. Your faithful subject, HIRSCH TOUFF. h 42, V - Qs ? iZZ are asses-teas ef site Z ee e ISE? Solemnly mindful of the Crevity of life and of the tran sitoriness and elusiveness of all wordly possessions, and conscious of the great danger and risks we are about to face as we emerge from our chrysalis state and enter into the wicked activities of the world, no longer guided by the mindful eyes of our Director and faculty fin loco- parentisl we the members of the most illustrious class of nineteen hundred and twenty one of the world famed National Farm School flfounded 1897 by the Reverend Dr. Joseph Kraushoff D. DJ individually, separately, each for himself, likewise collectively, unitedly and binding being of sound and disposing mind, memory and understanding despite our three years incarceration here, do make, publish, declare and advertise fthru the Gleanerj this as and for our last will and testament, here- by revoking, setting aside, cancelling and abrogating all former wills, testaments, codicals, gifts or other benefi- cences by as heretofore made either individually or col- lectively. Item one: We desire that all our just debts and funeral expenses be promptly paid by our executors here- in after named. Item two: To our honored President and Board we leave with much regret these 500 beautiful acres, the various building as we found them 3 years ago minus a few window panes, doors assembly room chairs, ki'CCh911

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THE GLEANER 17 Well I'1l be hanged! I exclaimed, If it isn't Stat- lnan, congratulations and Hello! Jimmy crickets!', he ejaculated. Touff! Welcome to our city! How do you like my new picture? Do you recognize who is on it?', Do I, I said, Well I should smile. If it isn't Effie hugging Stone! VVhat do you call it? Crushed Stone, It sells great. Say, I got a couple tickets for the show. Do you want to go? I was going to take my wife out but she died last night, so we two will go and have a good time. We'1l pay extra for the kid. They say its a great show, Its Babe Sammuel's 'Follies' at the fOld Scratch' down in Hogan's Alley. Babe runs the show. He's got a nice bevy of girls, all front rowers. There done up in ham strings and each one carries a candy, Great stuff. They got a fine second act. farce Making Love to the Queen of Hearts. I-Ie's good too. Slim got tired push- ing the plow so he went into the acting game and picked the 'Queen of Hearts' as his business card. Its an ace of a show. Hits your heart in the right spot. All the clubs go to see it, so put on your diamonds and we'll run down there. We'll stop in at the counts stand and hunt up Trupin on our way back. Trupin is teaching vocational agriculture in the Bronx. He's trying to persuade the farmers to more Nritzapeechest' instead of. the. baz- wotts, but he's having a pretty hard time at it. Let's hurry now. If we get there early enough we will hear our classmate Skaist. He's a great pianist. He uses his fingers to a great advantage. He plays for the Follies' and touches them up for two hundred per. Come on. I went to the show and enjoyed myself uimmenslyi' as the kid expressed it. I met all the fellows and had a real reunion. I found Iger too. He -was Editor of the 'Daily Yapp,' the paper I bought in the morning- I stop- ped in to see him and found him looking good fthat's why' he wears glassesj and prosperous. Krotoshinsky was working for him too. VVhen Kroty left Farm Schol he couldn't find a job so he was walking around New York like a lost Battalion, when I ger pick- ed him up and put-him in the educational department: He ran a three column article every day instructing the foreigners to speak good English. He was so good at it that the American Extension Brewery sent him to Siam to teach the Chinese down there to talk English. But Seeing Krotoshinsky ended. my great task. I felt

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THE GLEANER 19 utensils, crockery and glassware, and the Junior, Fresh- men and future classes with the hopes that the Educa- tional Committee can abandon all future special ses- sions and hurried trips to Farm School. Item three: To our Director Bernard Ostrolenk with a full appreciation of his high ideals and enthus- iasm for literature of classic and philosophic nature we bequeth our entire collection of books including Nick Carter, Horato Alger, Police Gazette. Prize Fighters Monthly, Sporting Magazine and How to run a car 18 miles one gallon in hopes that he will find therein suffi- cient material for his daily round tables. Item Four To our dear Agricultural Professor, Mr. Lukens, we bequeath our wonderful herd of Holstems in the hope that all future calves will be heifers. Item Five: To our Governor Mr. Campbell S. O. S. we bequeath the old Gleaner Building, in the rear of Lasker Hall, to be fitted up as a cottage for two. Item Six: To Mr. Toor we bequeath an increase in salary is that he may feel free to go in search of a girl with toes pointing in. Item Seven: To Mr. Cassidy we bequeath honory presidency of the Farm School order of the Ritz O' Peechesf' Item Eight: To Mr. Reichie we bequeath Apple's famoushair growing tonic guaranteed to put fuzz on a billard ball or a marble table top. Item Nine: To Miss Churchman we leave our famous work entitled F. F. B. fFirst Families of Bronxj with family trees complete. W Item Ten: To Miss Gross we bequeath our famous invention produced after 3 years of deep research-a heel less and toeless sock, needs no darningg guaranteed to last the full 3 year course. - Item Eleven: To Mr. Young we bequest the requisi- tion system with reservation, fmostly reservationsj. Item Twelve: To Mr. Kraft we leave the perman- ent position of assistant foot-ball coach. Item Thirteen: To the new P. G's we leave the much longed for pleasurable honor of absenting them- selves from chapel and military formation. Item Fourteen: To the Class of 1922 about to be- come Senior we leave our well fitting uniforms, the rugs, lace curtains and furniture in the rooms honored by our use these past 12 months and the signs and posters of historical value acquired and about Doylestown by