Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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THE GLEANER 17 Well I'1l be hanged! I exclaimed, If it isn't Stat- lnan, congratulations and Hello! Jimmy crickets!', he ejaculated. Touff! Welcome to our city! How do you like my new picture? Do you recognize who is on it?', Do I, I said, Well I should smile. If it isn't Effie hugging Stone! VVhat do you call it? Crushed Stone, It sells great. Say, I got a couple tickets for the show. Do you want to go? I was going to take my wife out but she died last night, so we two will go and have a good time. We'1l pay extra for the kid. They say its a great show, Its Babe Sammuel's 'Follies' at the fOld Scratch' down in Hogan's Alley. Babe runs the show. He's got a nice bevy of girls, all front rowers. There done up in ham strings and each one carries a candy, Great stuff. They got a fine second act. farce Making Love to the Queen of Hearts. I-Ie's good too. Slim got tired push- ing the plow so he went into the acting game and picked the 'Queen of Hearts' as his business card. Its an ace of a show. Hits your heart in the right spot. All the clubs go to see it, so put on your diamonds and we'll run down there. We'll stop in at the counts stand and hunt up Trupin on our way back. Trupin is teaching vocational agriculture in the Bronx. He's trying to persuade the farmers to more Nritzapeechest' instead of. the. baz- wotts, but he's having a pretty hard time at it. Let's hurry now. If we get there early enough we will hear our classmate Skaist. He's a great pianist. He uses his fingers to a great advantage. He plays for the Follies' and touches them up for two hundred per. Come on. I went to the show and enjoyed myself uimmenslyi' as the kid expressed it. I met all the fellows and had a real reunion. I found Iger too. He -was Editor of the 'Daily Yapp,' the paper I bought in the morning- I stop- ped in to see him and found him looking good fthat's why' he wears glassesj and prosperous. Krotoshinsky was working for him too. VVhen Kroty left Farm Schol he couldn't find a job so he was walking around New York like a lost Battalion, when I ger pick- ed him up and put-him in the educational department: He ran a three column article every day instructing the foreigners to speak good English. He was so good at it that the American Extension Brewery sent him to Siam to teach the Chinese down there to talk English. But Seeing Krotoshinsky ended. my great task. I felt

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16 GLEANER Give me the 'Daily Yappj I said. The only reason why I took the 'Daily Yapp' was because I didn't take any other. I put the paper in my pocket and for the want of something else to do I ask the newsy for his name. I told him he had clean cut features but a dirty face and I patted him on the shoulder and called him Sonny.'f I may have gone further but he interfered and said: ' Say mister, cut dat 'sonny' stuff. If yer want my name an' history I'll tell yer. I say it about six times a iay anyway to sech guys like youse, so here goes. We- ie mudder, pop an' me odder two mrudders-11ve in a shanty next to the Count. The Count's a bannaner con- noisseuer. If yer want ter come down some day I'l1 in- terdooce yer to me Pop. He's a school teacher. We ain't as poor as you might think, only pop don't want ter pay the income tax, so we live in a dump. What did you sa that banana venderis name was? I asked him. ' I didn't say, he replied, but if your anxious, I tell yer. He's Dominick DeVito. Him an' me Pops old friends. No sooner than I heard the I felt like a life long resident of New York. I have found another classmate! Then I asked him for his father's name. Me Dad's Phil Trupinf' he answered- I'm Jake, me mudder's Rose, an' me oder two brudders is Ike an' Wait a minute! I exclaimed. You say your dad is Phil Trupin? Here's a dollar. Take me to him. I gave him the dollar but he didn't seem to want it very bad. I-Ie said he would use it to buy his smaller brother the cigarettes he ow'd him. We agreed that he should first take me to the banana merchant and then he would take me to his , Pop. On the way to DeVeto's stand, he asked me if I have been to the new mooseem yet. I told him I hadn't, so he offered to take me up there. . Dey got a great artist there now, he said, wot paints dat sentimental stuff. He's got a picture there of a friend of his'n and a girl. Its stunning. The museum was on our way so when we came to it we went in. I was looking at the various pictures when my young friend nudged my side and whispered, There's ture. A the guy now. He's watching, the crowd around his pic-

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18 THE GLEANER satisfied so I went over to Statmans studio and picked out a girl, married her and settled down on a farm, and from that time until now I have been the slave of my worse half, my wife. So, Fate, I have learned what you could do in ten years, but as for the future it is as vague as it was ten years ago. Fate, tho I flogged you and I flayed you. By the living God that made you. Your a better man than I am. Give my regards to Ambition, and the next time you see him tell him I hope to meet him once more. Your faithful subject, HIRSCH TOUFF. h 42, V - Qs ? iZZ are asses-teas ef site Z ee e ISE? Solemnly mindful of the Crevity of life and of the tran sitoriness and elusiveness of all wordly possessions, and conscious of the great danger and risks we are about to face as we emerge from our chrysalis state and enter into the wicked activities of the world, no longer guided by the mindful eyes of our Director and faculty fin loco- parentisl we the members of the most illustrious class of nineteen hundred and twenty one of the world famed National Farm School flfounded 1897 by the Reverend Dr. Joseph Kraushoff D. DJ individually, separately, each for himself, likewise collectively, unitedly and binding being of sound and disposing mind, memory and understanding despite our three years incarceration here, do make, publish, declare and advertise fthru the Gleanerj this as and for our last will and testament, here- by revoking, setting aside, cancelling and abrogating all former wills, testaments, codicals, gifts or other benefi- cences by as heretofore made either individually or col- lectively. Item one: We desire that all our just debts and funeral expenses be promptly paid by our executors here- in after named. Item two: To our honored President and Board we leave with much regret these 500 beautiful acres, the various building as we found them 3 years ago minus a few window panes, doors assembly room chairs, ki'CCh911