Dedham High School - Reflections Yearbook (Dedham, MA)

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YEARBUUK Pizzano's ability to draw cartoons to Doiiald lit-ed. Van any one actually maintain that the author of tlzosw bequests was not sane? Your honor, wiser me11 than l 111ay criticize the deceased for leaving Amlrew l+'e1'1-is's golf clubs to Charles Duckworth, or -lack l1etteney's football ability to llilly Maclutyre, or Robert Glaserts bottle-opening noise to NVe11deIl Aniidon. They may say that these bequests are not perhaps necessary. I will not argue tl1e point, I do 110t 11ecd to argue it. l 21111 proving the deceased was sane, and l otfer one last passage from his will that settles the point conclusively: T leave Taylor Iler- sey's shyness, Henrietta Reid's friendly eo-operation with her teaeliers, and Paul Mulkern's dignified pe11-11a111e of Percy J. Epsom to the distinguished man of letters, Charles Benviefl That, your honor, is my ease. Clle sits down and folds his 21I'1I1S most satisfiedlyj Judge: This ease requires no great deliberatioii. Mr. liiverwurst, you and your clie11t, Miss Malicious Envy, have brought forward no evidence whatso- ever to show that the deceased was lllli sane. NVhy do you waste the time of the court on such stupid cases? NVhy do you try to ruin the reputation of the great men of this world? XVhen 1932 was with you, you saw perhaps only the frivolous side of his nature. Vvlhen you glanced at his more serious side you became alarmed a11d said that he was queer. The testi111o11y I have heard co11- vi11ces me that this will, this most wise Elllfl sagacious will, was written by a class so intelligent, so great, and so noble that we should deeply mourn his de- parture rather than criticize l1is bequests. VVe shall not see his equal again. CURTAIN. Evelyn Jordan, Barbara Miller. i Class Prophecy eAsT RODNEY Iiaieeon. . . .......... . . .Rodney Larcoin HERMAN Se11ULTz. ., ..... Nils Ohman ELMER Z11,eH ...... ....... X Vilfred Gill BETTY BUTTERCUP. . . . .Phyllis Monahan OPHELIA OPPER ........ .......... 1 Xnn Vtfhite Miss THROTTLEBOTTOM, . . . . Elizabeth MeGuinness PROF. OSVVALD PARSNIP .................. Paul Mulkern The opening scene is in a s111all class of Prairie Dog College. The students have just entered 3,I1Cl the professor calls the class to order. Professor: Come to order, please. The homework for tomorrow is to in- vestigate the number of prairie dog holes o11 our CHIIIPUS Hllfl to make a full report of the number and location of these holes. Now, for today's assignment. I told you to investigate tl1e subject of what becomes of high school graduates and to use tl1e members of the class of 1932 of Dedham High School, Dedham, Mass., for your victims, and I assigned various members of that class to Q2lCl1 of you as the field of your research. Mr. Schultz, will you come up a11d read to the class the results of your excavations? Schultz: Sure, professor. CReadingj One of the most striking features of this class was the ability which they showed to co-operate after they left, just as they had done i11 high school. For instance, I found that Ann Vkfhite, a trained nurse, last week assisted the famous Dr. Valdina to perform a delicate operation on Howard Watson, beauty specialist, afflicted with SOft6l1lI1g' of the brain. l932 w

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1 DIEDHAM H. s. -M- 1933: I do. tShe takes the witness stand.l Schultz: Miss 192333, how long had you known the Class of 19 i 192131: I had known him about three years. Schultz: Did you ever have any reason to doubt his judgment or to believe that his mind was, well, rather hazy? 193153: No, indeed! l always thought very highly of 1932 and respected his judginent in every move he made. Ile had a beautiful clear mind. ,WLDJ -v..t. Schultz: Thank you, Miss 19233. That is all. Judge: Do you wish to cross-examine the witness, Mr. liiverwurst? lliverwurst: I have a few questions. your honor. Miss 1933, you were with deeeased, were you not, on the night ot' May 24, 19331, when in the midst of the prom festivities the decorations, put up hy the deceased, fell upon the amazed guests? 192331: l was, but that was the fault of some playful boy. 1932 would never have done that to any one. liiverwurst: .lust answer my questions, please. IVere you ever with the deceased on any oeeasion when he referred, in any way, shape, or manner to his last will and testament F 1933: Une winter morning' l was with him when we passed Vernon Gill, raeing' through the snow in his trustworthy white sneakers. At that time Mr. 1932 stated that he intended to leave those famous sneakers to Squirt Tilton, so that their reputation eould he upheld for at least another year. Liverwurst: Did you ever hear him admi1'e Howard 1Vatson 's charm for women or say who he thought should inherit this charm? 1933: Ile very often spoke of 1Vatson's dynamic personality: he said he thougrht he would leave it to George Mc-Donald or Max Eaton. Iiiverwurst: Another sign of his foolishness! Did you ever hear him say that he planned to leave Ann YVhite's skill at selling' cookies to her sister Eloise so that the old family tradition would be upheld? 19321 tdouhtfullyl : No, I never heard that. Liverwurst Cjumpingr down her throatl: You're sure you never heard that? 193312: Yes, I'm sure. Oh, don 't ask me these questions! I can't stand it. I loved 19212-I thoufrht everytliing' he did and said was perfect. Oh, Oh, Oh! CShe weeps.J Schultz: Your honor, I think the abuse of my client has gone far enough. I move she be allowed to leave the stand. Liverwurst : I object! -IlldQ't1'Z Objection overruled. The witness may leave the stand. flflilil, assisted hy Schultz, goes hack to her seat. Schultz returns to his position before the -Il1fl,Q'P.l Schultz: Your honor, Mr. Liverwurst read the court some excerpts from the deeeased's will which, he claimed, showed evidence of an unhealthy intellect. I hope your honor will pardon me if I take the time to read in refutation pas- sages that show the clearest insight and finest thought that I have ever been privileged to observe. This, for example, To Dorothy Hill I do bequest Mary IIaley's sniekers in hopes that they will he used more judiciously than in the pastf' Do I need to ask you to admire that? Or take this one: I bequeath Ruth Lonsdale's studiousness and shy, but brilliant re-citations to Bronson IIugg'g'ard to make sure that he maintains his average as an honor student. And here, your honor, he leaves Helen Volk's loud voice and excess Weight to Mary Sullivan, and Ralph LaFreniere's garden outfit to Rachel VVhite. Was Solomon any wiser than 1932? Listen to this: f'I leave Elizabeth Riley's height to Rita Cuinmingls so that she may breathe the purer air of the stratosphere. I leave Eleanor Rhode 's wagging tongue to Florence Stanford, and I leave Charles C' l932 18

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DIEDHAM H. S. L. J. Glynn is another who has made his mark. He plays for the New York Yankees and last year smashed 103 home runs Mary Delaney has joined the Shevory and Katchpole Flicker Films, and doubles for G 1-eta Garbo 's successor, Anna Hayes, in the close-ups. llalph La Freniere, who started his career as a gardener, has shifted to more gentle ground and is selling grapenuts made by the Cullen Sawdust Co. ttcw snickersj. l'rol'.: The class will please come to order, or I shall find it necessary to halt these interesting revelations. Schultz: Another outstanding example of the fine work which some of this class arc doing is shown by Henry Dowd, Carlton Duley, Grant Leines, and Iico Dwyer, known during their high school days as the Four Gigolos. They sent their great croquct team, which they coached, against Dedham's ancient rival, Norwood, in the Heaphy Memorial Stadium. The highest hopes were realized when their team swamped Norwood 93eAU, in a furious struggle, a game fitting to be played in the stadium dedicated to Dedham 's great ex-coach. tltlnter Larcomj liarcom: Stage coach. l'rot'.: NVhat did you say, Larcom? Larcom: l said that 's what I say too. Prof.: Proceed, Schultz. Schultz: Two others of the class of 1932 have gone back to their Alma Mater to promote manly sports. lWilliam Gates and XVilliam Guilfoyle have produced at Dedham High a tiddly-wink team which is the state's champion. Gatcs's duties consisted of showing to the squad how to relax in classes and to save their strength for their games. Mary Newman and Katherine Montague have bought the chain of Hearst newspapers so they can run them to suit themselves. Donald lVlcMi1len, Vice President of the U. S., will protect them from the gunmen of Alec Panasuk, rival newspaper operator. Good night, alll Prof.: No comments are necessary. Aside from that, however, your report was good, Schultz. XVhat quotation did the material in the report remind you ot, Miss Throttlebottom? Miss Throttlebottom: Mighty hemlocks from little peanuts grow. Cliaugh- ter from class.D Pi-ot.: NVhat is the matter with the class, anyway? You're all grinning like a pack of Cheshire cats. All right, Miss Opper, let 's hear from you. Miss Opper: Contrary to their habits of comradeship in Dedham High, Archie Hammond and J. T. Longden recently fought for the world's middle- weight championship. Archie won by boxing Longdenls ears so hard that it knocked him bow-legged. George Davis has become the world 's champion flagpole sitter. C. J. Fetter, his trainer, kept away over-curious birds and mosquitoes by throwing chalk which he took during his school days. Frank Valente and Nicholas Scampoli have started a spaghetti factory with a capacity of 42 miles a day. The spaghetti was rather greasy at first, but Frank explained this by the fact that he mistook axle grease for butter. t'armcla De Falco and Audrey Dutton are running an employment bureau and have given their old classmates many a job. The paths of Adaline Brown, Taylor Hersey, and Vernon Gill have recently crossed w.th those of Walter Johnson and Thomas Brooks, the latter the owner of a Dedham movie palace. Brooks was showing Director Hersey's latest mas- terpiece, Paradise Retained , with Adaline Brown as the willowy heroine and Vernon Gill as the ardent lover. Walter J ohnson, the official movie censor of l932 ao