Dedham High School - Reflections Yearbook (Dedham, MA)

Page 18 text:

S- DEDHAM H. S. was of a sound mind. But, your honor, I will show conclusively that the late class of 1932 suffered from dementia praecox, paranoia, hypochondria, manic- depi-essive psychoses, and various and sundry unhealthy complexes. .ludgez In less technical language, was he slightly balmy? liiverwurst: In less technical language he was completely cookoo! I will prove this, your honor, by the testimony of my client and by the more devas- tating evidence of the very will itself, First, I shall ask my client, Miss Mali- cious Envy. to take the stand, l'lerk: Miss Malicious Envy! IShe rises and comes before him.j Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Envy: I do. tShe goes to the witness chair and sits down.l Iiiverwurst: Miss Envy, how long had you known the deceased? Envy: For four years. Iiiverwurst: Did you ever notice anything unusual about him? Envy: IVhy, yes. You know he always did everything differently and against custom and convention. Iiiverwurst: t'ouId you give the court some examples of this? Envy: IVell, to begin with in 1929 he gave a freshman party. Only those who had paid their dues were supposed to attend, but Vernon Gill and Taylor Hersey came anyway. Schultz tsprings to the feetl : I object .I udge: Objection overruled Iiiverwurst: Go on. please, Miss Envy. Envy: There were twice as many girls as boys, which made the party entirely unbalanced. Very few of the boys could dance, so games were played. It was a ef'ry queer party. Iiiverwurst: Van you recall any other odd acts of the deceased? Envy: XVell, in 151230 Ann XVhite caused a catastrophe at the lunch counter when she whipped a quart of cream to butter tive minutes before recess. It was a pretty queer thing to do. And then Mr. IIeaphy used to plead and beg and even yell in assemblies, trying to persuade 1932 to pay athletic dues and to attend games and give the teams some support. but it never did any good. The class never paid dues. liiverwurst: Did the class go to the games? Envy: No, never. Iiiverwurst: I thank you. Miss Envy. That will be all. lSits.l Judge: Mr. Schultz, do you wish to cross-examine the witness? Schultz trising and glowering at Envyj: Your honor, yes, I do. Miss Envy. during the four years you knew the deceased were you what you would call a friend of his? Envy: Yes, I was always a close friend of his. Schultz: And do you think your testimony is the sort that would come from a frienrlf Doesn't it rather show the selfish, unscrupulous, dishonest qual- ities that make you- Liverwurst Cwildlyl: I object! Judge: Objection sustained. CTO clerkl Strike that out. Go ahead, Mr. Schultz, and please confine your questions to the case at hand, Schultz: Miss Envy, wasn't the party you described so patronizingly sim- ilar to any party given by children thirteen or fourteen years old? Envy: IVhy, yes, I guess so. I never went to any other party. Schultz: Oh, so you never went to any other party! I'll bet I know Why. CHis sarcasm is a dreadful thing.D So you have nothing on which to base your judgment ? You have no way of comparing that party to any other party. You have no reason for saying it was queer, have you? Envy Cquite wiltedj : VVhy, er-er-no-0-o-o. l932: 16

Page 17 text:

YEAR l500K e saw a little inousv friskiiig about on the seeoiul floor and the lirave girl flasliecl back to Mr. Cowan with the exciting 111-ws. t'11stome1': I hope they clicl11't inalu- any ll10l'l5 personal 2llJIN'2ll'?lIl0t'S. Artist: Oh, yes, one last one for good luck. A hold mouse niaile Pl visit to :LD steiiograpliy class wliere it was given a very XV2ll'lIl rect-ptioii. I have it port1'ayed lu-re. llelen Volk is g1'I't'l'llllQ' it with very entliusiaslic cries and zittenlpting to swing from the ceiling lights. Customer: Coe, I wish I had been tliere. Artist: Thatls what a lot ol' other hoys wished, too. 'l'oo had I! l'usto111e1': This is getting iiiterestiiig. Got any more pictures like the last one? Artist: Sorry, tl1at's the last, I tl1i11k. l hope I haven 't bored you. f'ustomer: Not at all. In fact I've enjoyed it iinmensely. Are a11y of these scenes for sale? Artist: NVell, they will he after the exhibition. Just which one are you interested in? Customer: As a matter of fact I think the last scene is thc masterpiece. I'll have that, if you don 't mind. CURTAIN. CHARLES KUssMAUL, IIIARY DEBENEDICTIS, ROBERT HENDERsoN The Wzll of 1932 THE CAST CLERK OF THE COURT ............... Thomas Brooks ATTORNEY SOHULTZ ..... ...Donald MacMillan ATTORNE1' L1vERwURsT .... ..... C lhester Parker Miss IIIALICIOUS ENVY. . . . .Evelyn Jordan Miss 1933 ............ ..Barbara Miller THE JUDGE .............. . .. ..... Olan Drake CThe stage represents a courtroom. The judge's bench is at the right, turned sidewise to the audience. O Facing are table and two chairs for the attor- neys: behind these are two more chairs for the witnesses. In the back center is a table for the clerk of the court, and to tl1e judge 's left is a chair for the Wit- nesses to testify in. As the curtain goes up the clerk is seated at his table. He rises impressively.j Clerk: Oyez, Oyez! This court is now in session. All ye who have business draw nigh .... Cliike all the clerk's speeches this is spoken rapidly and i11- coherentlyj CThe two attorneys, Miss Malicious Envy, and Miss 1933 enter left. The judge enters right. lVhen all are seated, the clerk reads from an enormous ro1l.j Clerk: The case of Malicious Envy against the estate of the class of 1932. Liverwurst Crising and coming forward toward the benchj : Your honor, my client is a deeply wronged woman. She is the victim of the grossest and blackest injustice. The late 1932, who owed her everlasting gratitude, who was indebted to her in a thousand and one ways which I need not enlarge upon- the Class of 1932, your honor, left my client in his will-nothing! Now, your honor knows and I know and we all know that however grievously his will wrongs my client she has no legal redress if-IF--he made the will when he l952 15

Page 19 text:

YEAR l500K Schultz: I thought not! Miss Envy, what did M rs. Metiuinness do with the butter that xkllll White accidentally llliltll' .' Envy: Oh, she used that for the teachers' luncheon. Schultz: Then it. wasn't wasted? E11vy: No, it XVZISIIII. Schultz: As a matter of fact didn't tl1e teachers all ask where the lovely butter came from? Envy: Yes, I guess they did. Schultz: Miss EllVj', IIEISIIII Mr. Ileaphy IIIll'IlflX had to plead and beg and OVCII yell to get classes to pay their athletic dues .' Envy: Oh, yes, it's part of his routine. Ile does it every year. Schultz: -Inst how did Mr. Ileaphy outfit his IPRIIIIN that year .' Envy tdepreciatinglyj : Oh, ISI!!! nianaged to scrape together enough dues. Schultz: Indeed! Are you sure .' E11vy: Oh, very, because I 1'0I1lPl1lllt'1' the rush for reduced tickets. Schultz: Tllflllli you, Miss E11vy. Your testimony has been very helpful. tllliss Envy returns to IICI' seat. and Schultz sits down, looking very satisfied Mr. Liverwurst takes the tloor.D liiverwurst: Your ll0ll0l', in additio11 to the testimony of my elient-atesti- mony wl1icl1 the defense failed to damage-li wisl1 to read so111e excerpts from the actual will. Please bear in mind that these passages were Wl'lllGl1 hy tl1e late 1932 himself. tHe reads from an enormous roll, his voice showing tI1c deepest disgust, and completest contempt for wl1at he 1-eadsb: I leave Nils Ohman's uncany ability to chisel high marks from teachers, to Dorothy Cripps, as tl1e poor girl 111ust have so111e onels help. Is that a sane bequest ? XVould a co1npletely normal 111an leave Ohman's ability to a11y one but Mike Pappas? I will read another: I leave Edward Fetter's managership of the advertising p1'ogra1n of the senior play to Eleanor DeVito, because she loves to give oral themes fillfl sales talks. Does that llldlie sense? Does this make sense: I leave Charles Kussmaul's QlllI1USl?tS1l1 for hockey games to Cathie Rabs in order that sl1e lllay 31111189 herself when t'harles cannot come to see her. XVouldn't a11y sane H1311 know that no girl could be amused by flllnljfllliltg wl1en Kussmaul didn 't COIIIG to see her? NVouldn't Hlly sane 1112111 have left this enthusiasm to Margaret Longden? How about this: I leave Ilelen Hurtle's inevitable sneezes to Gail Cowan in order that she 111ay amuse herself in study l1all '? Helen IIll1'll67S sneezes to Gail Cowan! Gail could 11ever l1a11dle tl1e1n. NVhy, it would take at least Bozo Turner to do tl1en1 justice. Listen to this-tl1e 1nan who wrote it was supposed to be sane: To tiny Brackett I leave Roy Pederson 's extremely loud voice i11 llllf hope that he lllily find it helpful in bookkeeping. VVould a sa11e 1112111 have thought so? Your ll0ll01', I do 11ot wisl1 to take up any more of your valuable time. I do not need a profusion of details to prove 111y point. I would, however. like to read you just o11e more excerpt. Here it is: I leave Mildred Sukowske's blond hair, Lois Nay's pink cheeks, and Anna Hayes' sweet smile to . . . IIOIIOY Capone I Your honor, I rest. tHe sits down importantly. Schultz rises.D Schultz: Your honor, the arguments presented by lllr. Liverwurst are of utterly no consequence. The passages he read you prove nothing. If, your honor, if Robert Henderson 's ability to supervise Adele Clancy 's French recita- tions had been bequeathed to Forest Auld, rather tl1a11 to tl1at wizard, Donald Brown, then, your honor, one might have l1ad reaso11 to doubt the deceased's sanity. But his choice of beneficiaries was such that there can be absolutely no doubt that he was not only sane but also exceptionally Wise and gifted. I pro- pose first to call as a witness 0116 wl1o knew tl1e deceased well, one who can tell you, Without prejudice, of his true character. Miss 1933. Clerk: Miss 1933. tSl1e comes forwardj Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the Whole truth, and nothing but tl1e truth? e F9512 17