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Page 46 text:
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FEATURES PILFERED, SWIPED, OR STOLEN Phoss: Wilt thou be true to me, precious, when I'm gone? Merle: Sure, sweet. But don't be long. Tgi Mavis: Do you know what happened to the 3 little flshies? Lester: No. Mavis: The dittum dottum. .-ig?- Zifadison girl: Am I the first girl you ever kissed? Ribs: Now that you mention it you do look familiar. Cliff: Pardon me if I walk on your feet. Iny: That's O. K. I often do myself. It's funny, she had no principles, but she drew in- terest! Foolosophy: You can kiss all of the girls some of the time, and you can kiss some of the girls all of the time, but you can't kiss all of the girls all of the time -at least I can't. .tgi- Guy and Melba had been sitting in the swing in the moonlight all alone. No word broke the stillness for half an hour until- Suppose you had money, Melba asked, W'hat would you do? Guy threw out his chest, in all the glory of his manhood. I'd travel. He felt her warm, young hand slide into his. VVhen he looked up she was gone. In his hand was a nickel. Russell: Won't you join me in a cup of coffee? Bobby: You get in first. .1..l. Ginny: Damni Old Lady: My word! 1 I A H Ginny: I'm sorry. I didn't know I was plagiarizmg. .TQ1-. Billy: Can I get a room for three? Clerk: Have you got a reservation? A 1 Billy: What do you think I am, an Indzan 2 .-.gi Don F.: I don't think I learned much in this class. Dennis: What you don't know won't hurt you. In the winter a young mans fancy turns-are apt to set him on the ice. Said the toe to the sock. Let me thru, .let me'thru. Said the sock to the toe, 'Til be darned if I do. Many a man seeks a girl for her pa value. 14, Chorus girl to boy friend: So long- VU Sue YOU lilfel'- .-...T She's a suicide blonde-dyed by her own hand. lg... The younger degeneration-it's always been with US. A FRESHMAN'S LETTER Dear Mom: Don't be surprised at such a question as this, but what kind of animal am I? You know, in biology I-learned that all men are animals, but when I asked different people what I am, here is what they told me: In the Glee Club, I'm a bull frog: In the fight ring I'm a chicken: At meals, I'm a pig: After gh-Vs, I'm a hound: When they gauge my ability to work, I'm a horse: VVhen the class is bawled out, I'm a lamb: In social life, I'm an owl: To my worst enemies. I'm a pole-kitty: When the gum is passed, I'm a cow: When I get my grades, I'm the goat: QI haven't my grades yet, Mom, but I think I can get thru High School on my good looks.p Troubled Freshman THE BLUE GNU Once upon a. time there was a gnu named Hugh. And Hugh wasta blue gnu. And he was married to a gnu named Sue. And every time Sue would call Hugh. she would coo- Yoo hoo, Hugh, yoo hoo. And Hugh would answer, Yoo hoo, Sue, you cute gnu you, yoo hoo. Sue. yoo hoo. And they called each other often, did these two gnus-for they were happily married. Every day Hugh would dash off to his daily work of getting his name into crossword puzzles under the title a three-lettered animal, and when his day's work was done. he would dash home to Sue. and Sue and Hugh would spend their evenings doing' whatever blue gnus do. There was only one thing that kept their mar- riage from being perfect. They both longed for the patter of tiny feet-the happy laughter of a little one. But year after year went by and still the only thing they had running around their house was a fence. They even considered adopting a little baby gnu. but neither of them knew a gnu who wanted to be adopted: do you? Gradually they began to quarrel-just a little bit, did Hugh and Sue. Hugh would say, Foo to you, Sue, you blue gnu you-foo to you, Sue. And she would coo, And poo to you, Hugh. you blue gnu you. In fict, poo pa doo. This sad state of affairs. I'm sorry to say. went on for some time, and still there was no patter of tiny feet about the home-no little ones to brighten their later years. ' But one day-ah, beautiful day-Hugh came sadly home from work. He was in a nasty humor and was just spoiling for a fight. He opened the door and stalked in. all ready to begin the quarrel. But wait-there was something different about Sue today. The frown was gone from her face. There was a happy. bashful look in her eye. as she stood there in the doorway. Why, Sue, said Hugh-'WVhy, Sue. Is there something on your mind? And Sue smiled a lovely smile and said, Yes, Hugh, I have gnus for you. - CSki-U-Mahi POET'S CORNER He sipped the nectar from her lips As under the oaks they sat And wondered if ever 21 guy before Had drunk from a mug like that. Mother uses cold cream Father uses lather, My girl uses powder At least-that's what I gather. I cannot study when you're gone And books would bore me now, I fear, I don't take notes: I sit and yawn Just like I did when you were here!
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Page 47 text:
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HALL OF SHAME Name Looks Really ls Weakness Known by Judith pleasant nice kid one boy Judy Harriet sophisticated o. k. art Collecting Class Rings Edith nice friendly eating in bed Her funny giggle Vlvlan neat quiet Chow Mein Fancy hair-dos Marjorie pre-occupied absent-minded Latin Stubby pencils Rosella short pleasant Helen Eide Rosy Helen blonde blonde bookkeeping Speed in Bkkg. Laura nice quiet Avis B. Heir dark hair Avls B. genial nice to know Social Avis Olive neat courteous sewing Her nice clothes Lyle fascinating mediocre girls Judd Ginny cute ambitious food Her pep Clarice carefree breezy arguing' Eccentricities Mary little studious North Dakota Seriousness Mel cheerful a nice kid Photo Club Being track captain Raymond P. quiet shy half-holidays Mid-week holidays Cllff loud windy girls His nerve Florence T. reserved Irish day dreaming Big blue eyes Jerome bratty mischievous taeks on chairs Distance from floor Russell reserved ambitious Driving Dad's car Musical ability Glenn S. quiet neat silence His speed Lennard meek quiet Physics His voice Virginia L. sweet capable laughing Big Brown eyes Curtls audacious meek teasing Being a pest Bing nonchalant nervous yelling Cheerleading Everett D. sleepy Dahlish hunting CD Blondie ldelle Hanson dignified good dresser Eddy Duchin Musical ability Ralph B. cute nice 4-H Club His red hair Don E. sleepy ambitious pretty girls Big feet Dorothy L.. flirtatious extremely shy Q?J chattering Her loud giggle Eldora quiet friendly basketball Long fingernails Leota quiet worth knowing writing notes Her braids Dennis sleepy generous killing time Blonde hair Bumpy bored tired girls His-neatness lny full of fun peppy boys Her laugh Ray B. cute pugnacious baseball Dimples Douglas lazy but definitely daydreaming His braininess Avis W. happy full of fun gum Good-nature Deloris tiny faithful forever clothes Dally Phyllis athletic good sport tumbling 1-Ier hair-dos Arvid like C. McCarthy no dummy saxophone His dimples Harold M. sleepy lazy rare jokes Barnyard Imitations Leon W. bashful nice farming His height Glenn D. friendly a scatterbrain spit balls Fuzzy hair Don F. dreamy lots of fun F's Corny jokes Myrtle D. industrious serious Ray S. Sunny smile Virflil nice Dleasant Plymouths One-girl fellow Florence H. quiet nice to know driving a car Domestic ability 5,
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