Dallas High School - Dragon Yearbook (Dallas, OR)

Page 32 text:

26 PERISCOPE SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY “M.v children,” beamed the professor, “I have a surprise for you this morning. A wonderful surprise!” Eighty gleaming eyes stared at him in expectancy and forty shining noses tilted upward scenting adventure and mystery. “No doubt you have heard of the diggings which have hern carried on recently by the world famous scientist Paprika Mayonaisse, who by the way, happens to be a very dear friend of mine. Pappy has, as you know, been digging in the ruins of a prehistoric city which flourished, I believe, about the twentieth century A. I). He has been discovering rich rewards and the dear boy has sent me this. It seems to be a manuscript—now please don't crowd—and it is written on a thin substance, which tears easily nor is it good to eat. It is white, as you will notice and the characters upon it are of black. It is read from left to right and it took a great deal of bruins and scientific research to decipher it. However I have done so and with your permission I will read it to you.” Tlie professor cleared his threat, blew “Dear Dei, his nose and b’gan to read through it. “Dallas, Oregon, June IS, 1!»24. “Well, I’m sorry you couldn’t get down to the big jubilee yesterday. You were the only one of the class of '24 who wasn’t present, so if your ears burned it was because you were all we were able to discuss. I suppose tho, as president of the beef trust you can’t leave your mahogany desk long enough to bother with the likes of us. We had a banquet at the Gail in the evening and every one there got up and made a speech to tell what lie or she was doing. Kill Sanders, our former president was first. Hill is running a Kindergarten down in Portland. He seemed to have become rather used to them because lie insisted on having a spoon with a curved handle before be would touch his soup. Gwendolyn Hooker sat on his right. Gwen has turned cow girl and chases about with the round ups in the state. Pendleton is her headquarters. “Freda Yashaw and Bert Curtiss are doing a little vaudeville act together which was written by Viola Wahlford and is called “Why Use Dumbells When Onions Will Make You Just As Strong;” They were too bashful to give two separate speeches so they gave one together and as they both talked at once it was impossible to tell what either said. But it didn't mutter much as Johnnie Tate was making too much noise drinking his soup through his whiskers for anything to lie heard above it. Johnnie lias a job in a circus as bearded lady but his beard is such a bother to him that I don’t think it is worth it. Jennie Itunkle has a job in the same show training elephants and her chum Ahhie Williams is a guard at the pen. “Before the dinner was half over the fire whistle blew and Marjorie Jackson, Vivian Nelson and Williard Brown hopped up from the table and dashed out the front door. Marjorie is chief of the fire department and Vivian is traffic officer and was afraid the cars might get into a jam if she wasn't there to lead them politely but firmly down the right side of tlie street; while Buster is city marshall and has to he on the front row at all state occasions. “About this time Helen Butler came trailing in late to make a sensation. She lias

Page 31 text:

PERISCOPE 25 VIOLA WOHI.FORD - - “Viola” Student Body Member 1, 2, 3, 4. “A farmerette by trade” JCLIA PALMER - - - - “Judy Basket Bull 3, 4: Class Play 3. “A Steady Stepper” WILLARD BROWN - - - “Bub” Student Body Yell Leader 4: Class Play 1. 2. 3, 4: Student Body Play 2. 4. MARIE BISSELL - - - - “Marie” Entered from Perrydale ’23; Student Body Member 4: Track 4. “A belle from Perrydale MARTHA BROWN - - - “Betty” Basketball 2, 3, 4; Class Play 1; Track 2. 3. “She isn’t as slow as she might be.”

Page 33 text:

PERISCOPE 27 turned into a regular vamp since we left high school—breaking men's hearts right and left. She was accompanied by Glen Wick in an adorable little blue bonnet with red streamers which set off his complexion admirably. He lias joined the Salvation Army and he carried a clothes basket full of doughnuts which he passed around at the close of the dinner. ‘•At the other end of tin table some one started a rough house and it developed that Clara and Julia were trying to decide which of them was the best. Julia is a missionary and Clara is an Evangelist. They finally tossed up a penny but it rolled down a crack and they would have started the fight again if McCann hadn't interfered. Mac is a professional athlete and quite the best in the state. Why I'll bet you'd have a hard time to find a man in the east that could heat Mac playing tiddlede winks. “We finished our soup and the next course consisted of prunes fried in butter. We thought this strange until we were told that the butter was made by Alice Crider, who owns a dairy farm out of town and delivers milk in a little red flivver every night and morning. The prunes were a new variety of seedless ones invented by Helen Lewis and I»ira Franklin. “Marie Bissell sitting between Alex Kennedy and Hazel Butler was creating a great deal of disturbance. It seems that Marie lias invented a hair growth tonic which she calls Missel’s Mushy Brush,” and she wanted Hazel and Alex to put it in stock. They 1)0th own beauty parlors and are gnat rivals. Hazel calls her shop “The Best Yet” and Alex named his Better Than That.” “When it came time for his speech Ray Imbler told us a charming little tale about Peter Rabbit and Reddy the Fox. He is in the habit of telling such things as he broadcasts bed time stories every night over the radio for the little tykes. That gave Verdu Saxton an idea and she sprang her next campaign speech on us. She is a political boss. When Kennedy Warden got up to speak he told us that he had at last found some me to love him. It was great to he loved, he said, and when he went home at night to have all his family flock about him. He had established a home for stray cats and they were the most affectionate creatures! Why, he had to bring one of the little dears along in his pocket, it was so attached to him and he proceeded to pull it out by its tail. At this Martha Brown gave a loud shriek and fainted. She had gone in a convent because her nerves were not strong and the excitement was too much for her. However Charlotte Orr was soon at work reviving her. She has lots of practice in this line as she is a life-saver at the beach. I've heard that some people almost allow themselves to he drowned just for the pleasure of being rescued by her. I guess that is every one. But the class of ‘24 is still on the map isn't it? Yours,” The professor paused and coughed. “The last word 1 was unable to make out,” he said. “The rest seemed to be printed with a machine and the last word written is such a scrawl that I was unable to decipher it. However it gives you some idea of your prehistoric ancestors. Were they not odd creatures? You will be prepared for a quiz on this tomorrow, please.”