DYouville College - DYouvillian Yearbook (Buffalo, NY)

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. OUVILLI 'L ' 'T we gi AN 'sei A NTRAGIC COMEDY Time: Twelfth Nightg or what you will. Place: As You Like It. Dramatis Personae: Romeo and Juliet. SCENE I. JULIET: Unhand me, sir, I'll hear no 'Lover's Complaint' from you. You're simply making 'Much Ado About Nothing' and an absolute fool of yourself. ROMEO fmadflikej: But I will hear about these 'Two Gentlemen of Verona.' I'll not play 'Troilus' to your 'Cressida' nor 'Anthony' to your 'Cleopatra' They may have been deceived by fair face and cold mein but not I,--not I. JULIET: Well, you're not going to treat me after the fashion of that uncouth 'Othello'. As you browbeat me, my Romeo, you shall receive 'Measure for Measure.' ROMEO fponderingj: Ha! I can see I have used the wrong tactics for the Tamf ing of the Shrew'! I have stirred up quite a 'Tempest' and if I do not take care, I fear 'Love's Labour Lost'. Come, dear, let us forget these 'Gentlemen of Verona'. I have no wish to know of them. JULIET: But Romeo, it is but a 'Comedy of Errors'. They were agents for the 'Merchant of Venice' and came on business to see my father. ROMEO: Dearest, I am ashamed for ever having doubted your love. But let us forget the past, let us call this a 'Winter's Tale'g or better still, a 'MidfSumf mer Night's Dream', and join with me in saying, 'All's Well That Ends Well.' JULIET: But clon't you ever doubt me again or I'll have 'King Lear' pronounce a sentence of banishment on you. ROMEO: I'Iorrors! I shall hire 'Macbeth' to put me immediately out of my misery.' fFi7'liS,l Our Freshmen are brilliant In Mathematics, they're fine-- They can count up to ten If you start them at nine. l'm certainly getting down in the mouth, said the worm as it slid down the robin's throat. 143

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l . 0uvn.L1 WITH APOLOGIES By the shores of Vichy Waters, By the shining split rock waters, Stood the hut of Mapleine, Daughter she of Cuticura. Dark behind it rose LePage's Rose the strong and sure LePage'sg Bright before it beat the Waters, On the clear and shining Valspar, That, saving surface, saved the all. There thc wrinkled Aunt Jemima, Taught the little Resinol. Rocked him in his Simmon's bed, Bedded soft in Skinner's satin, Softly bound in Cortecellig Stilled his fretful wailing saying: Hush the Princeton Tiger'll get thee, Lulled him into slumber saying: Eya'wa, my little chiclet, Who is this that lights the- Aladdin With his Delco lights the Aladdin Many things Mentholatum taught him, Where Mazola is the thickest, Where the Mayonnaise is foundg Resinol grew strong and stronger, And he loves sweet Musterole. ss ITEMS OF INTEREST Plautius, the co1n1nunity's man of mystery, did another astounding thing last january. Standing in the highways and byways, he scattered Trinummum, or valuable gold pieces, to the awed crowds, in the midst of falling snowflakes, so, as he said, they could more easily get the drift. Mr. Sychology sailed last September for parts unknown with a number of inti' mate friends in his palatial private yacht. The points of interest at which they stopped were in all probability Sensation Harbor, the Isle of Perception and Conf cept Bay, all of which lie along the Stream of Consciousness. After landing, the party wandered through Memory Lane to the Abode of Knowledge, where they discussed the pleasurable events of the journey. . Mr. Matthew Arnold entertains a number of his Senior and junior friends at frequent at home gatherings, and strives to make all his guests feel entirely at home with him. Ann Alysis, who married into the Qualitative family, has distinguished herself by her brilliant and caustic comments upon the problems of her day. For instance, her controversy as to why Ed U. Cation is acquiring so many principles lately has set all the intellectuals aftalking. 142

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W ' 0uv1LL1 THB 1935-X -' 'Tai I l W as- X 'T , S I AN ANNOUNCEMENT AFTER EXAMS These cerebral premises, completely devastated by the professorial raid occurring in january of this year are now closed for repairs. Will reopen on or about May 21 with a new and original stock, consisting mainly of idle notions and an unlimited supply of dry goods, manu' factured by I. Teach fs? Co., and packed in handsome, heather-covered containers. AN EXAM WE MIGHT PASS HISTORY! 1. Name one of the opposing sides in the Spanish-American War. 2. On what date do we celebrate the Fourth of July? .w. Give the exact number of the forty-eight States. 4. Who was the leader of the unsuccessful party in Napoleon's defeat? 5. What caused the California Gold rush? LITERATURE : ' . 1. Who was the author of Shakespeare's Hamlet? 2. Give the geographic setting of A Short History of England. fs J. What was the home town of the Merchant of Venice? 4. Where did the Virginians live? ' MATH. : 1. If a man bought an acre of land for 8100, how much did it cost him? ' 2. If the distance from A to B is ten inches, what is the length of the line AB? J. How long will it take A, B and C, working together, to com' plete a piece of work which A can do in ten days, B in five days and G in fifteen days, and the three together in 11 days? fu 4. What shape is a circle? 5. Which is the largest angle of an equiangular triangle? To the struggling science student, Words of depth and misery, Since you have not done your lesson, Kindly report before three. 144