DYouville College - DYouvillian Yearbook (Buffalo, NY)

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F' we D -'fx Qs- X FROSI-I CURIOSITY Where do the M's go when they go out? Where do the planes go in Solid? Well, I'll be darned! said the sock as a stitch ran up its clock, ATHLETICALLY SPEAKING .The delight of the B division-a ten-thirty gym class on an other' wise free morning. We have discovered that Freshmen are inconsequential atoms who think that-- Sandy Hook is a Scotchman. Saturday Evening Post is where the cowboys tether their ponies. Community Plate is the village ball park. Culture Epoch Theory is the last word in etiquette. The Three Musketeers were Wm. Tell, Daniel Boone and jesse James. Eskflmo Pie is an honorary frat. Fourth Floor Proctors are self-supporting students. Salt Cellar is a traveling salesman. Octupus is Latin for eight-headed cat. The Four Horsemen were Paul Revere, Don Quixote, Sheridan and Buffalo Bill. TALE or A Mouse: ' mouso, mousere, niousey, scotum, cato, caterc, kitty, caughtum, dogo, dogere, puppy, bitum, trapo, trapere, trapy, traptum. .s Genius, Says the freshman Who every day just catches The 8:75 Conn by the fetlock And hangs thereby precariously Is an infinite capacity For getting to school On time! 141

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W f ,IQUVILLIA 'I' sg I V- HE 6 N04 If A COSMOPOLITAN COMPLAINT The class was at Cosmology In the study of Philosophy- And all was still as still could be, When all at once, quite suddenly, A little rattling vanity Which was the much prized property Of some embarrassed entity, Decided on a jubilee To roll into infinity Until, despite the general glee, The saddened maiden blushed, did she Bemoaning her iniquity And saying, We would best agree, If one did not cosmetics see And thought on just Cosmology IN A FRESHMAN'S EYES A Junior stood on the railroad. track The train was coming fast, The train got off the railroad track And let the junior pass. EMBARRASSING MOMENTS ' Wheii you read, in the language class, a sentence on page forty- seven, and translate in your native tongue, one on page fortyfsix. When you convert the O proposition, per accidents, at the black- board, .for the amusement of the class. I When you can remember perfectly what the trot said, but you can't remember to which Latin words it referred. HOW TO FIND THE LIGHT IN A DARK ROOM Blink eyes rapidly several times in order to become accustomed to the dark, then walk stra1ght to the opposite side of the room, upsetting as little furniture as possible, considering the circumstances. Turn at right angles and walk back half the number of paces. You should now be reasonably near the center of the room. Repeat previous operation. Raise right arm and describe a circular motion overhead. Repeat with left arm when right becomes tired. Then use both, simultaneously. Cheer upg morning will come, according to a famous composer. 140

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l . 0uvn.L1 WITH APOLOGIES By the shores of Vichy Waters, By the shining split rock waters, Stood the hut of Mapleine, Daughter she of Cuticura. Dark behind it rose LePage's Rose the strong and sure LePage'sg Bright before it beat the Waters, On the clear and shining Valspar, That, saving surface, saved the all. There thc wrinkled Aunt Jemima, Taught the little Resinol. Rocked him in his Simmon's bed, Bedded soft in Skinner's satin, Softly bound in Cortecellig Stilled his fretful wailing saying: Hush the Princeton Tiger'll get thee, Lulled him into slumber saying: Eya'wa, my little chiclet, Who is this that lights the- Aladdin With his Delco lights the Aladdin Many things Mentholatum taught him, Where Mazola is the thickest, Where the Mayonnaise is foundg Resinol grew strong and stronger, And he loves sweet Musterole. ss ITEMS OF INTEREST Plautius, the co1n1nunity's man of mystery, did another astounding thing last january. Standing in the highways and byways, he scattered Trinummum, or valuable gold pieces, to the awed crowds, in the midst of falling snowflakes, so, as he said, they could more easily get the drift. Mr. Sychology sailed last September for parts unknown with a number of inti' mate friends in his palatial private yacht. The points of interest at which they stopped were in all probability Sensation Harbor, the Isle of Perception and Conf cept Bay, all of which lie along the Stream of Consciousness. After landing, the party wandered through Memory Lane to the Abode of Knowledge, where they discussed the pleasurable events of the journey. . Mr. Matthew Arnold entertains a number of his Senior and junior friends at frequent at home gatherings, and strives to make all his guests feel entirely at home with him. Ann Alysis, who married into the Qualitative family, has distinguished herself by her brilliant and caustic comments upon the problems of her day. For instance, her controversy as to why Ed U. Cation is acquiring so many principles lately has set all the intellectuals aftalking. 142