Coquille High School - Laurel Yearbook (Coquille, OR)

Page 23 text:

Eleventh—I, George Aker, hand down to Welman Ball an original pamphlet entitled, “How to Become a Man.” Twelfth—I, Mary Levar, do will my silky locks to a ladies’ hairdressing parlor, so that in the future they may adorn some sweet maiden’s cheek in the form of “question marks” or “beau-catchers.” Thirteenth—I, Ole Lund, after calm consideration and due deliberation, bequeath my superfluous hair to an appreciative barber. Fourteenth—I, Elizabeth Hufford, without subjugation of the passions or appetites by abstinence, hereby return to Mr. Crites an excessive amount of Physics Knowledge. Fifteenth—I, Jig Leslie, after numerous flighty glances through the Junior Class, have graciously decided to leave my Oratorical abilities and the energy necessary to run a mile in five minutes, to Wm. Downs. Sixteenth—I, Clara Moser, leave to Myrtle Cunningham my supernatural power of saying nothing when the moment of silence has arrived. Seventeenth—I, Mutt Tyrrell, will my power to attract the Freshie girls’ attention, together with my ability as a business manager, to Jack Leach. Eighteenth—I, Vera Kelley, will to Clara Heller my exuberantly high spirits in the hope that she may be able to subdue them. In Witness Whereof, we have hereunto set our hands and affixed the seal of the Senior Class in the year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred sixteen. Keigh Leslocker Huth Harlie Jig Leslie, rushing into a barber shop: “How long before I can get a shave?” Barber, viewing him wonderingly: “Oh, in about three years, I guess.” • • Elizabeth came along as Mr. Howard was burning some papers on the school grounds. “Don’t you have to have a license to light a fire?” she asked. “Not this kind, ” replied Mr. Howard. “It’s the kind you get up and build in the kitchen stove that you have to have a license for.” y • • Miss Bay: “What about Joan of Arc?” Stiffy: Oh, he was a guy what saved a lot of fellows in an ark once.”

Page 22 text:

SENIOR WILL • • We, the Senior Class of 1916, of the Coquille High School, City of Co-quille, County of Coos, State of Oregon, being of sound mind and memory and not acting under menace, fraud, duress or undue influence, make, publish and declare this, our last will and testament, to-wit: First—We hereby nominate and appoint Edna Robinson and Zelma Strang, of said Coquille High School, the executrices of this, our last will and testament. Second—We direct that our executrices hereinbefore named, as soon as they have the legacies hereinafter named, do deliver the same with proper haste. Third—To the Poor, perverted, unsophisticated Freshmen, we bequeath an undue degree of self-importance, an exorbitant claim to dignity, rank and estimation, and a lordly contempt for others. Fourth—Upon the Sophomores, we bestow our legal claim to stray pencils and pens, except the unsharpened pencils and penless penholders, which must be left for the energetic Freshmen. Fifth—To the Juniors we leave with heart pangs, our time-worn seats in Room 1, near the windows, on condition that they try to fill our places in the affection of Mr. Howard. Sixth—To Janitor Peart we grant, bequeath and forever assign the front seat on the west side of Room 1, that he may have the privilege of attending all literary programs and appreciate the harmony extended by the Peart Bros. Orchestra. Seventh—To the Freshmen Girls Basket Ball Team, the modest class bequeath all their white stockings that will stand the strain of being dyed green, with the expectation that they may again have courage to appear in public with such an artistic combination as green stockings and white Middies. Eighth—I, Sam Harlocker, do bequeath to Arthur Hooton, together with my superior knowledge of Geometry and Physics, my extreme modesty. Ninth—I, Brick Leslie, will to Victor Pettingill my well known athletic ability and to Ben Hersey my excessive capacity for holding office. Tenth—I, Olive Howey, do considerately leave my coquettish glances like unto some simple little violet, in conjunction with my giggle, like unto a bubbling brook, to Leanna Curry.

Page 24 text:

KEITH LESLIE Professional Office Holder Address: Under the big- gest red-thatched dome in C'oquille, Oregon Look Girls! Nothing like freckles to improve your appearance. Fine ones guaranteed to come out when the sun shines. For Sale by MARY LEVAR GROW TALL. Surprising growth guaranteed under the new Mos-eropractic treatment. For references see Alice Curry. Olive Howey and James Mast. Clara Moser. Baxter Hotel Remember Smitten Youths and Maidens, you can learn how to find your Climax from one who has had experience. Mourn no longer but write at once to GEORGE AKER Coquille FOR SALE Second Hand Dignity and Knowledge Good as New Has seen but little usage. 1916 Senior Class C. H. S. LOST One fund of Physics knowledge. Reward if returned before final examination. —Julian Leslie. BUY MY BOOKS “A Hundred Laughs a Minute” “How to run a Motorcycle” I also give correspondence lessons on Gurgling. Address HUGH HARLOCKER. care of Red Motorcycle. DISCONTENTED GIRLS Why look abroad for your LIFE CAREER? I found mine close at home Let me advise you. Call and see me or write Vera Kelley—Coquille Or. Bashful People, ATTENTION! Learn when, where and how to be coy. EDWIN LUND WANTED—A tall man, preferably one who wears an English suit and lifts his hat clear off his head. Write or phone Olive Howey, Coquille YOUNG MEN Nothing attracts the girls like pretty dimples. Learn how to cultivate them. Lessons given at reasonable rates. Elizabeth Hufford. Now Is The Time to take advantage of my clearance sale of Bleach-O Hair Tonic Learn how, by a simple, harmless, process, you may have beautiful hair like mine. Address MERTON TYRRELL Coquille Oregon In answering advertisers please menti on The Laurel.