Coquille High School - Laurel Yearbook (Coquille, OR)

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SENIOR WILL • • We, the Senior Class of 1916, of the Coquille High School, City of Co-quille, County of Coos, State of Oregon, being of sound mind and memory and not acting under menace, fraud, duress or undue influence, make, publish and declare this, our last will and testament, to-wit: First—We hereby nominate and appoint Edna Robinson and Zelma Strang, of said Coquille High School, the executrices of this, our last will and testament. Second—We direct that our executrices hereinbefore named, as soon as they have the legacies hereinafter named, do deliver the same with proper haste. Third—To the Poor, perverted, unsophisticated Freshmen, we bequeath an undue degree of self-importance, an exorbitant claim to dignity, rank and estimation, and a lordly contempt for others. Fourth—Upon the Sophomores, we bestow our legal claim to stray pencils and pens, except the unsharpened pencils and penless penholders, which must be left for the energetic Freshmen. Fifth—To the Juniors we leave with heart pangs, our time-worn seats in Room 1, near the windows, on condition that they try to fill our places in the affection of Mr. Howard. Sixth—To Janitor Peart we grant, bequeath and forever assign the front seat on the west side of Room 1, that he may have the privilege of attending all literary programs and appreciate the harmony extended by the Peart Bros. Orchestra. Seventh—To the Freshmen Girls Basket Ball Team, the modest class bequeath all their white stockings that will stand the strain of being dyed green, with the expectation that they may again have courage to appear in public with such an artistic combination as green stockings and white Middies. Eighth—I, Sam Harlocker, do bequeath to Arthur Hooton, together with my superior knowledge of Geometry and Physics, my extreme modesty. Ninth—I, Brick Leslie, will to Victor Pettingill my well known athletic ability and to Ben Hersey my excessive capacity for holding office. Tenth—I, Olive Howey, do considerately leave my coquettish glances like unto some simple little violet, in conjunction with my giggle, like unto a bubbling brook, to Leanna Curry.

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ed familiar, and I was not a little surprised to see and recognize in Mme. Hufford my classmate, Elizabeth. She had become a great singer and star in Grand Opera. “August 16, 1930. Was scanning over the morning paper and was startled when I saw the name of Keith Leslie, renowned American tourist who was staying at the Metropolitan House. I visited him and we chatted pleasantly when he suggested a banquet in honor of the meeting. I agreed and was somewhat awed when he told me that our friend, Edwin Lund, was a great favorite in society. Keith’s words were true for at the banquet Edwin was introduced to the company and delightfully responded to a toast. He was so changed that I scarcely knew him; tall graceful, and winning in all his ways. “August 30, 1930. Today I arrived in Washington, D. C. Was greatly interested in the splendor of the Capital City and no less interested in the large military pageant parade of women which was being reviewed by the President. As they approached the executive mansion, I easily recognized in the commander of the pageant Olive Howey-------------of the Class of Sixteen. I read in the papers of her wide and impressive views on militaristic movements for women. “Sept. 5, 1930. Today I passed through Brooklyn and while there, listened to an extensive oration by Hon. Julian Leslie, my former schoolmate. The magazines were full of the works and arguments of Mr. Leslie on the subject of “Reciprocal Evolution” which he had originated. “Sept. 6, 1930. Hearing that Mr. Whot’en, Edison’s successor in the field of electricity, resided in Orange, N. J., I retraced my steps to the plant of the great wizard in hopes of finding an old schoolmate. True to my guess, I found her in a quiet little home enjoying life fully in her own quaint way. “Sept. 15, 1930. Boston. Here I found a great deal of excitement. The papers were filled with the daring exploits of Count Harlocker, who hrd lately returned from a trip to Mars. Chancing to be with the crowd, I glimpsed the Count and astonishment overcame me for I recognized Hugh Harlocker, the former stellar planet of the class that graduated from Coquille High School in Nineteen Hundred Sixteen.-- And thus ends my quest for my old classmates and having found them all, I will return to New York.” The dying embers on the grate protested my negligence and I replenished them, and once more I found joy in my luxurious surroundings. Keith; “I thought ‘pious’ was some kind of a disease.”

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Eleventh—I, George Aker, hand down to Welman Ball an original pamphlet entitled, “How to Become a Man.” Twelfth—I, Mary Levar, do will my silky locks to a ladies’ hairdressing parlor, so that in the future they may adorn some sweet maiden’s cheek in the form of “question marks” or “beau-catchers.” Thirteenth—I, Ole Lund, after calm consideration and due deliberation, bequeath my superfluous hair to an appreciative barber. Fourteenth—I, Elizabeth Hufford, without subjugation of the passions or appetites by abstinence, hereby return to Mr. Crites an excessive amount of Physics Knowledge. Fifteenth—I, Jig Leslie, after numerous flighty glances through the Junior Class, have graciously decided to leave my Oratorical abilities and the energy necessary to run a mile in five minutes, to Wm. Downs. Sixteenth—I, Clara Moser, leave to Myrtle Cunningham my supernatural power of saying nothing when the moment of silence has arrived. Seventeenth—I, Mutt Tyrrell, will my power to attract the Freshie girls’ attention, together with my ability as a business manager, to Jack Leach. Eighteenth—I, Vera Kelley, will to Clara Heller my exuberantly high spirits in the hope that she may be able to subdue them. In Witness Whereof, we have hereunto set our hands and affixed the seal of the Senior Class in the year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred sixteen. Keigh Leslocker Huth Harlie Jig Leslie, rushing into a barber shop: “How long before I can get a shave?” Barber, viewing him wonderingly: “Oh, in about three years, I guess.” • • Elizabeth came along as Mr. Howard was burning some papers on the school grounds. “Don’t you have to have a license to light a fire?” she asked. “Not this kind, ” replied Mr. Howard. “It’s the kind you get up and build in the kitchen stove that you have to have a license for.” y • • Miss Bay: “What about Joan of Arc?” Stiffy: Oh, he was a guy what saved a lot of fellows in an ark once.”