Columbiana High School - Clipper Yearbook (Columbiana, OH)

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U EURNIES DIARY OF A FRESHMAN Monday-i got lost in this here building today and i sure was some scared. Tuesday-i broke my bottle to day. i wish i was back in the grades these here exams are too hard for a little boy like me. Wednesday-fi am mad, i am flunken all the time. i lost my new ball too. Thursday-i busted my bottle again. Pa is awful mad and he says i will bust him up busting things. Friday-i wish i had a penny to buy a sucker. Saturday-Mamma said i could play to day so i made a doll out of a clothes pin. Sunday-i found a penny on my way to S. S. and got some gum. . . . . . Your girl's spoiled isn't she? No, it's just the perfume she's wearing. I I I I I Miss Z.-Did you write this unaided? Fresh.-I did, every line of it. Miss Z.-Then I am very pleased to meet you, Lord Tennyson. I thought you died years ago. I I I I I There was a young fellow from Wheeling Endowed with such a delicate feeling, When he read on the door Don't spit on the floor, I-Ie jumped and spit on the ceiling. I eat my peas with honey, I've done it all my life. Some people think it funny, But it keeps them on the knife. I I I I I Was your friend shocked over the death of his mother- 1nAlaw? Shocked? I-Ie was electrocuted! I I I I I Little Boy: Mother, I just cut off my leg in the threshing machine. Mother: Well, 'stay outside until it stops dripping. I just rnopped the floor. I I I I I Darn it, leftovers again, growled the cannibal, as he gnawed on the two old maids. e Q Q n Q Willie in a fit insane, Thrust his head beneath a train All were quite surprised to find I-low it broadened Willie's mind. I I I I I DAFFINITIONS Cauliflower-A cabbage with a college education. Dance-A brisk physical exercise, invented by St. Vitus. DusteMud with the juice squeezed out. Echo-The only thing that can cheat a woman out of the last word. Lie-A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered up-to-date. Policeman-A never present help in time of trouble. I I I I I A conversation between two new pupils: What's your name? if Lemmie. Lemmie who? Lemmie Kissya. What's yours? Bettie. Bettie who? Bettie Knott. . Miss Kibler: l am tempted to give you a test tomorrow. Fresh: YIELD NOT TO TEMPTATIONI' n n 1 n e The Freshie is grassy and grows. The Sophomore's sassy and blows, The junior is brassy and doze, While the Senior is classy and knows. I I I I I Sonny Wolfgang: I wish Napoleon had been a Russian.' Bill Newell: Why? Sonny: Cause that's what I wrote on de exam. . . . . . Miss Burton: I-low much time did you spend on you French? Willie: Forty-five minutes, Railroad Time. Miss B.: And what do you mean? Willie: Including stops and delays! They walked down the lane together, The sky was studded with stars: They reached the gate together, I-Ie lifted for her the barsg She raised her brown eyes to him, There was nothing between them now: For he was the farmers' hired man, And she . . . . . was a Iersey cow. n n 1 n a Postmaster: What's that peculiar odor around here? New Clerk: I guess it's the dead letters, sir! I I I I I Four out of five women haters are women. I I I I I EXAM PRAYER Now I lay me down to rest Thinking of tomorrow's tests: If I die before I wake Those tests I shall not have to take. Leader: I-low did you break your violin? Violinist: Oh, busted a gut laffin'l Even a tombstone will say good things about a fellow when he's down! n n n Q n Into the cistern little Willie Pushed his little sister Lily. Mother couldn't find her daughter, Now we sterilize our water. I I I I I I

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.- --f ...pew - -n-----when-L CLASS PBUPHECY On this spring day of 1956 The United States of America was benefited by one of the greatest inventions of the century-the atomic seeing eye invented by that young American scientist, Kenneth Kissell. The dedication was made on Kissell Hill, Columbiana, Ohio, the famous Kissell Laboratories where the atomic eye was constructed. Pro- fessor Kissell dedicated it to the local high school Class of 1946 and at his first experiment he focused the machine to different parts of the world to see what his classmates were doing. First, he focused the atomic eye to New York City and there he detected signs of quite a few old friends. Fred Griffin is the editor of the New York Times and at present he is out taking pictures for his paper. He is the only big time editor who takes his own pictures. Gloria Martin is getting ready for her evening perfor- mance as guest soloist with the New York Philharmonic Symphony. She is a member of the Met but is now on tour. We understand Barb Gaver is now first cellist of the Symphony. So we imagine that after the performance to- night they will have a good gab session conceming their happy school days. Marjorie Bilger has been promoted to the head buyer in the exclusive women's department of Lord 61 Taylor. Off the record we hear that Kurtz's branch store in New York is running close competition with the Lord 5. Taylor. As you all know Don is now the proprietor. land he has the prettiest blonde clerksll Ducky Lipe is testing jet-propelled planes at La Guardia Field as he has found out that cars are too slow for him. Prof. Kissell now changes his seeing-eye to Harvard University where we find David Duff, the youngest professor on their faculty. He's teaching a combined course in history and how to make faces behind the teachers' back. The new invention now travels to New Waterford where Willie Schlag and Freida Rock are trying to make the dead- line for next week's edition of lOU0 and One Iokesf' When they finish this edition, they are going to fly to Canada to add humorous touches to Martha Patchen's book, The Men in My Life. The seeing-eye makes a short jump from New Waterford to Leetonia where we see Mayor Bob Leonard and his wife, the former Sue Sansenbaugher, entertaining Senators Bill Duffy and Don Rapp in their luxurious mansion. Also there we see Carl Sheets, who is coaching football in the newly established Leetonia Academy for Bad Boys. Prof. Kissell explains this remarkable .atomic eye also will focus on short distances as well as long ones. So he singles out his classmates in Columbiana. Iohn Fitzpatrick has naturally taken over his father's store. But he also has a profitable hobby of installing horns and radios in old cars. Agnes is still his pride and joy. Fran Cunningham has established a taxi-service specializ- ing in taking girls to out-of-town football games. Lois Burkey is the manager of the local lsaly Store. It has been modernized complete with cover charge and floor show. Albert Drotleff is a bouncer and headwaiter and bakes apple pie on the sideline. He uses that famous recipe he used in public speaking class. The former Betty Gano and her husband Bob Segesman are living on a farm nearby Columbiana, and between rearing a family and chickens, Betty is kept pretty busy. Mary Hoover is running competition with Al Capp and has her own comic strip for the Columbiana Ledger, Maisy Dae. l' K. 22 , 'Q'-,,'n. The famous girls' basketball team from Columbiana is coached by Ianet Flugan. They have won the state cham- pionship for the past two years and have more fans than the boys do. Wonder why???????? Evelyn Macklin and Laura Hough are managing the local kindergarten. After school hours they do interior decorating fthey remodeled the Leonard mansion.l Out on County Line Road we see where the Gorcheff farm is the largest potato farm in the state of Ohio. Of course Frankie is the manager. Doctor Bob Hum and his wife, a former nurse from Salem, have established a hospital in Columbiana and are quite successful. In Columbiana we also see that Elsie Keller tMrs, Harry Hollingerl is at her stove in the kitchen still trying to learn how to cook. This magic-eye now tums Columbus-way and we visit Ohio State University. Butch Horst is still a cheerleader and is due a pension in another year. We also visit the Capitol building where Kenneth Comp- ton and David Simpson are discussing state economic prob- lems with the Governor. On the way from Columbus to Cleveland the machine stops off at Youngstown. Sonny Wolfgang . . . surprise! ! . . . is the pastor of the Trinity Methodist Church. Oh, what is this world coming to ! ! ! At Cleveland we find that Bill Newell is playing pro football with the Rams. We understand that Bill is still following after his favorite hobby . . . girls, especially blondes. The atomic eye makes a quick trip to Chicago. There at Great Lakes Naval Training Center we see that Marilyn Souder is the newly elected Sweetheart of the Navy. Also at Great Lakes is Winnie Witter with Phil Spitalny's Hour of Charm Orchestra. They have come to Great Lakes to play for Marilyn's coronation. Prof. Kissell focusses the atomic eye for a longer distance . . . California. The first stop is at the Palladium where we see a whole flock of '46 graduates. First seen are Smokey Young and his Hotlicks. In the band we see Doc Ross at the solo trumpet place and leanne Tennell is the pianist. Caledonia is their theme song. Looking around we see lla Lyons in the chorus and Rose Haney doing acrobatics. Rose Harrold is dining there with one of her many. Her private secretary is also there keeping track of her dates so that she won't have a schedule conflict. Virginia Forney is the first assistant at Marc Westmore's make-up studio. She is putting make-up on Lee Miller. As you all know Lee has literally sent Van Johnson back to the woods and is still as bashful as ever. f?????????J The seeing-eye travels across the Pacific to Australia. We find Charlotte Ramsey visiting her pen-pals there and she has decided to stay there since she has been offered a position in one of the colleges teaching Home Economics. The atomic eye now finds its way across Asia and Europe to France. ln Paris we find Shirley Bartels making a tour, singing in all of the famous places. We also see in Paris that Faye Coppock has her own exclusive dress shoppe. All of her latest creations are published in Life Magazine. Finally this great atomic eye comes back to rest on Little ole' Columbiana again. The dedication ceremony is over, and everyone is gaping with awe at this unbelievable in- vention. Prof. Kissell has proved to the world that his atomic eye is a success.

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